penitence

I'm currently in my second year of high school, and when I was in middle school, I had two experiences of saying a nickname and being called.
My lips are thick and puffy, so I was nicknamed for that, and I was teased because I was clumsy. At the time, when I got home, I cried alone, looked in the mirror and despaired, and thought it would be better not to be myself. That negative feeling continued until just recently, and it was painful because of my original nervousness.
Also, since I'm with a wrestler with a surname, I gave the nickname Pro Wrestler, and I used the nickname old man because his attitude was like an old man and his eyes were round and big, and I laughed at a few people saying that nickname. By the time I regretted it, the former had transferred schools, and the latter had changed schools. I can't actually meet them or apologize by email anymore, but I was able to apologize over and over again in my heart and change myself as a result, and now I'm never negative, and now I'm never negative, and I don't complain or complain at all.
I told all of this to my parents and they said, “If you can't actually apologize, apologize firmly with your heart and reflect on it instead of feeling guilty.” I also consulted with people who had nicknames with them at the time, and they said that they didn't feel guilty at all, and that saying the nickname was a page in youth, etc.
I know you did the worst thing. However, the past cannot be changed, and if you are bound by the past, you may make the same mistakes in the future. Even though I think so, I'm a villainous person, and I think I've done something bad out of place, so I can't even get my hands on my studies.
From now on, how should I grasp my past mistakes? Also, is having a sense of guilt different from remorse? Thank you in advance for your answers.

4 Zen Responses

Everyone makes mistakes

I will also give you an answer as someone who has been bullied.
If I think about it now, the experience of being bullied became fertilizer for me to grow.
People make mistakes as long as they live.
There is no statute of limitations in Buddhism.
So while I'm alive, I reflect on the crimes I've committed.
You've definitely made up your mind now, so don't worry!!
I will never make the same mistake again!!
I think this determination is important.

I remember it, so it's forgivable

I myself often want to apologize when I meet my former classmates. I think the fact that Yamato has such feelings at the young age of his second year of high school is really merciful and sensitive.

Most people in the world forget things from the olden days, and I think almost everyone forgets them. Under such circumstances, I think that “remembering” alone is quite a step forward. It was written that Yamato “makes me think of himself as a villain,” but I think the real villains are “people who don't remember.”

Yamato “remembered,” so he was fully reflected on that alone, and he repented. Please be aware that you have had an “experience” of remembering and reflecting on. With that alone, Yamato should have been fully forgiven.

Remorse must be reflected

I say remorse rather than this kind of face (>_<), a concave attitude, or negative repetitive movements in a meaningless mind,
Pledges and restraint in real life that you won't, won't do, and won't let go for the rest of your life are important.
If you go out into society, there is also a world where people say “Theme, I don't have enough remorse,” if you don't have a face of remorse all the time, but aside from that, the best reflection in life is to “reflect” it in the future.
“A day of reflection, a lifetime of reflection.”
You probably don't see anything in your heart that you should reflect on anymore.
That's why you regret hurting those people.
From now on, refrain from acts that hurt such people, and don't let other people do it out of repentance or remorse.
Please turn your mind around so that others, including yourself, do not go down the path of hurting such people, and make them reflect that kind of reflection.
If you really want to apologize, you can either apologize properly or write a letter.
I think we should sincerely apologize when we have a chance to meet at a class reunion sometime.

“ashamed”

Yamato-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Even though I'm still a high school student and young, I was really impressed by their attitude of sincerely facing their own past mistakes (a nickname relationship is a common type of practical joke among middle and high school students, and I know it's such a serious mistake...).

Now, “How can we capture past mistakes? Also, is having a sense of guilt different from remorse?” However, in Buddhism, there is a good act called “shame.”

Actually, until now, we have treated “shame” in each response to the following questions.

http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/tag/慚愧

Once again,

“Regret” is to reflect on or be ashamed of bad things in one's heart.
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/慚

“Ashamed” is an expression of fear of bad things or feeling remorse or shame about others.
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/愧

Exactly, when I look at the content, Yamato has done a good act of being “ashamed” enough this time around.

Of course, from being “ashamed,” it is also important not to make the same mistake again, to express feelings of remorse and apology if there is an opportunity to meet the other person, and to make amends if there is anything that can be done.

However, I think there are probably many opinions that it's just a nickname affair, and it doesn't have to go that far...

Assuming that you can make use of this event to advance good deeds in the future, I think it would be better if you make an effort and encourage them, along with good deeds (representative ten good deeds) of not causing trouble to others and not doing what you don't like, and the other, the good act (mercify/altruism) of actively helping and doing good things when someone is in trouble.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

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