My best friend broke up with me

This is my first time consulting with you. Thank you for your support.

My best friend of 10 years suddenly broke up with me, and I can't sort out my feelings. I think the trigger was probably because I disliked something she liked.

My best friend and I have been in a relationship since college, and they were classmates in the same department. The number of people in the entire faculty was small, and since their hobbies were close, they quickly became good friends, went on trips abroad together, and even after graduating from university, they frequently went out to play together.

What triggered my separation from her was a certain music content.

In the past, I loved that content, and I even went to live shows with her. However, I personally felt bad about that content, and since the musicality gradually didn't match, and I had questions about commercial law, I became a fan.

On the other hand, she's always been a fan of that content, but she also knew why I left the fan, and we didn't touch each other about it, and our friendship continued normally.

However, the other day, I had a negative talk about that content on Twitter with another person who had left a fan of that content just like me, and right after that, I was suddenly blocked by her.

I also had a lot of thoughts about the content, so the resentment I had put up with erupted against people who were thinking the same thing, and I made a lot of negative remarks. Originally, that conversation wasn't supposed to catch her eye, but I probably watched it for some reason.

Since they were blocked all at once from her multiple accounts on Twitter, there's no doubt that they were clearly rejected by her.

Maybe this was a blunder, and I think there were other things I thought about until now. But I also have feelings for her, and I think relationships are like that, including those things.

You can apologize to her through other means.
However, I was unilaterally isolated by my best friend that I didn't want to lose because of something I had put up with for a long time, because of something I didn't like, and it's sad, and it seems like I was crushed by an empty feeling similar to giving up.

What should I do about whether I should make an effort to get back together or give up. I would appreciate your advice.

3 Zen Responses

First, let's listen to the other person's thoughts

Nice to meet you, Megu.
I've read your question.

First, I think you need to ask why you blocked it. Also, if you need to apologize, apologize.
Your friend probably felt that when Megu denied her favorite content on SNS, she was denied herself too.

No one wants to be denied what they love. What's more, being denied on SNS is no different from complaining behind the scenes. Twitter can only be expressed in sentences, and depending on how you approach the other person, it can deeply hurt your heart. That's the horror of social media.

You'll need to listen to your friend's live voice as much as possible. It's difficult to meet people face to face now, but a phone call or videophone would be fine. Please listen to your friend's thoughts.

No matter how close they are, it's natural that they have differences in values. I think a best friend is a relationship where people respect each other even though they have different values. If we can “listen” to each other's opinions even if they are not accepted, the relationship will deepen even further.

Apart from whether or not the other party accepts Megu, I think it is important for Megu to show that she wants to get back together.

What is a friend...

Nice to meet you, Megu.

Maybe it would have been nice if we talked about parts where we don't agree. It's an important hobby for your friends, and when you saw what you were sending to other people, you probably felt that something bad was said about yourself behind the scenes.
What is a friend? What kind of people should we consider friends?
We want people who empathize with us. This is because such people are easier, and I want to have people close to me who are positive about my opinions. Being with negative people is exhausting and not fun, is it?
but.
In order to become truly sincere friends, sometimes it is necessary to clash and discuss things we don't agree on. True friends are those who can enhance each other (this is called “good knowledge” in Buddhism). I'm not asking you to fight. When exchanging opinions, it is essential to have a mutual feeling that “this person is one's best friend.” Because they are important friends, we exchange opinions. Seize it as an important opportunity to get to know someone you don't know yet. Of course, you can't make that kind of friend overnight. Maybe it's a one-way street.
Still, if it's an important friend to you, why don't you try getting in touch with them again? You can always finish it. First, discuss your thoughts and what your friends think carefully. If it still doesn't go back to normal, it may have been that far. Or, after a few months or years, there may come a time when we can become good friends again. Life takes many forms, and unexpected things happen.
It would be nice if we could understand each other. If you have any further questions, please contact us.

worship

It hasn't returned to the covered water tray

Not returning to a covered water bowl is an analogy of how the relationship between a married couple once divorced does not return to normal. It's an analogy of turning around and making a mistake once is irretrievable.

Well, it's generally there.
Just being blocked doesn't mean they've broken a relationship, right? They're people I have relationships with in real life, too.

Wouldn't it be best to meet in real life and have a heart-to-heart conversation?

Still, if that doesn't work, let's insulate it.

Since the cause in the first place is differences in values, it can also be said that insulation is essential.

If it were really isolated, there would be no getting back together. No matter how many good memories you have had in the past.

Memories are about saving them as memories and isolating them.

By the way, you might think of your friend as your best friend or hobby friend.

If my hobbies didn't match, I should have muttered about my hobbies in a different language.

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