painful jealousy or jealousy, friend marriage, pregnancy, childbirth

Nice to meet you, I'm a monk from Nagoya.

You're analyzing your current state of mind very honestly, aren't you?
Also, I really have a wonderful feeling that I want to congratulate you.

When someone in the same situation reaches the goal first
I think it's natural to feel envious.

What if the situation were the opposite?
I'm sure your friend felt the same way.
But didn't you have a feeling that you wanted to bless them?

The feeling of thinking about your partner is a feeling that will be very important even after marriage.
It may be difficult right now, but by growing a desire to bless the other person,
I think you will get closer to your goals and be able to live a wonderful life even after your goals.

Please make it a good idea to analyze your feelings this time around.

Once again, please tell me how you feel about the other person,
Thank you very much.

Nice to meet you, I'm Ohashi.
I read your question. Even if you take it, it's a human-like, straightforward feeling.
I think it's something everyone thinks in the back of their heart. I take that for granted.
But even if it's hard, let's bless them. And that was great! Why don't you smile?
The smile at that moment gradually evokes the kindness in your heart.
Why don't you just force yourself to say congratulations to your friend with a smile?
I'm sure you'll be able to see your new real face.
Please do your best.

Friendship is not a contract.
Friendship is not an obligation.
Friendship is not restraint.
Friendship is not ownership.
Friendship and happiness should be an attitude of receiving rather than stealing,
It's something we should share, not compete with.
I'm married, and my wife continues to have a good relationship with her friends before and after marriage.
Since it's the title of friend, it's not that they have a good relationship,
Since they are friends, I think friendship is something that should make a good relationship no matter what happens.
My best friend doesn't have rules like locks.
Even if they are on good terms with each other, being free is a sign of respecting each other.
There were also friendships that were broken when I didn't realize I should do that.
But finally, there is no breakdown in friendship.
Friendship continues even when broken or seems to be broken, and what continues is friendship.
Friendship is the most enduring relationship if treated well.
I think the secret is to eliminate gains and losses, and to give and receive what each other has.
For you, her marriage and childbirth are the gift of a new relationship.
It wasn't reduced or damaged. There are many people who have been on good terms even after marriage.
Everything is blessed, this is the key word.

Hitomimi-sama
Nice to meet you, my name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.

I read the question.
You're being tormented by a very painful feeling, aren't you?
A friend I used to do marriage hunting with had a girlfriend, and it's painful to decide to get married.
Also, you are suffering from not being able to honestly rejoice at it.

Me too.
Even if they wear monk clothes, if you peel them off, they are jealous and have negative feelings.
If you like it, please see the link below as well.

http://hasunoha.jp/questions/57
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/367
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/387

I think the suffering is even deeper because that friend is an important person for Hitomimi. If you're in a short relationship, you might be able to feel refreshed by talking behind your back.
Because they are important people, aren't they struggling with the gap between wanting to bless and jealousy?

Wouldn't it be nice, even if there were times when I was jealous?
I think there are good times and bad times precisely because we are close.
Please don't deny my current feelings.

Hitomimi-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

How you are suffering from “jealousy”... Jealousy is a really troublesome affliction, and jealousy does not just stay in the heart, but can actually become a motive for various bad acts, and in some cases it becomes a really serious problem.

Until now, we have dealt with “jealousy” in each of the following questions.
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/tag/嫉妬

Among these, I think the humble answers to the following questions will be helpful for the time being.

The question “is this something I shouldn't do...”
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/1002979344.html

“· · “Suiki” means “... arousing a heart of joy about other people's good deeds, mercy, and altruism, and following their merits...” In the case of the other person's act this time (love story), it cannot be described as good deeds or mercy/altruism, so it may not apply to this explanation of “suiki,” but if you can raise a sense of joy together with “human happiness” and make yourself feel happy, you can suppress bad worries such as “jealousy” and “anger,” so it is truly recommended. ・・”

In Buddhism, it is a methodology to perform “mercy meditation” or “meditation of the four immeasurables” in order to be able to “enjoy” people's happiness and good deeds together.

http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/慈悲の瞑想

Even in Tibetan Buddhism, “tongren” in lojong (mental training method) is representative.

http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/トンレン

However, when it comes to practicing meditation, I think it would be better to initially do it under the guidance of a formal teacher (teacher) as much as possible. If you are interested, I hope you can look up meditation sessions held at temples nearby. Of course, some of them may be suspicious, so it is necessary to carefully assess the truth or falsehood of the content, so please be careful.

I pray for good deeds.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho