I'm made to join an emerging religion, but can I inherit graves from generation to generation

Hello Shige-san

I used to work on research on new religions at research institutes where new religions are the parent body. In new religious groups with more proselytizing power than traditional temples, if there is a new religion that evicts the house's temple and promotes new beliefs, there are also new religions that value temples to which ancestral families have belonged for generations.
Assuming remorse that the issue of converting to a new religion has arisen from issues on the temple side of us, who are content only with the relationship between graves and funerals...

If it is a sectarian temple or chief priest who accepts the Japanese spirit of Japan and values the spirit of tolerance, respect for traditional culture, and respect for the other person's beliefs and ideas, even if they are consulted about conversion, they will first search for an appropriate path while paying respect to the temple that person's ancestors have held memorial services for generations. We will not forcefully proceed with the conversion.

Previously, when I was a college student, a missionary of a religious group that criticized another religion came to proselytize a friend in the dorm room, performed a performance where he tore up and threw away cards right in front of his friend, and I was surprised to be encouraged to break with his friend. “There is no way that Buddha will punish you. The explanation is “prove it.”

My idea is that we should pay respect even if we have different faiths. When I am consulted about other religious issues, I will explain that the teachings of other religions are different from my denomination's ideas, but even if I think my faith is wonderful, I don't insult the other person's religion. It's good manners as a member of society, and recently as an international person.

It is a good idea to judge whether to join or not by looking at the father-in-law's daily beliefs. Faith is not forced to advance; I think it is something that leads believers behind their backs. It is necessary to be moved and respected, that there is no doubt that it is this person's faith. Even if it's a great teaching, if the person who is proselytizing has a bad attitude, I really don't feel like getting involved. That wonderful teaching of faith did not affect the personality of the missionary. This is because I believe that faith is something that is precious and made beautiful by those who believe in it.

This time, Shige-san's easy response seems to have led to my father-in-law's expectations. If you don't have that will, and your heart is caught by the feeling that you want to protect the family's ancestral beliefs, now it's better to honestly apologize and refuse.

I think this issue is directly linked not only to refusal of faith, but also to problems in various situations of life. What is important is your own belief that you are not easily swept away by circumstances and circumstances.

Gassho

“What are you going to do now when you worry that it will be over 50 years away. My mind will change after 50 years”

It is said that my father-in-law said that, and if you follow those words faithfully, it means that your father-in-law's own thoughts will change after 50 years. Therefore, it seems that there is no way to patiently persuade or reject them from here on out. However, in the thoughts of the father-in-law himself, it can be read in such a way as not to think that his own way of thinking will change. It's tough to be in a relationship with someone like that. I'm guessing.

Also, I don't know the basis for deciding that 50 years or more is ahead. Needless to rely on the Lotus Sutra, Buddhism is a way of thinking that “no one knows what lies ahead.”

Note, the way of thinking that the Lotus Sutra is the only truth and is superior in everything is based on the view of the sutra called “5:8 Kyōhan (Goji Hakkyohan)” proposed by the Chinese Tendai Daishichigi (Tendai Daishichigi), and the fact that the Lotus Sutra clearly states that “Shakyamuni appeared in this world to preach this sutra.” (The 5:8 teaching itself is a well-known way of thinking. (However, it is not common to try to force it on everyone.)

It is true that the Lotus Sutra is “the best” according to one way of thinking, but there is also a way of thinking that there are very few people who can become Buddha based on its teachings and practices. Other sutras also explain that you can become a Buddha in a different way. Also, in most Mahayana sutras, it is clearly stated that “Shakyamuni appeared in this world to preach this sutra.” Also, the meaning of the supreme sutras differs depending on how you think and grasp them.

Also, I mean, it's a bit difficult to say that they give religious persuasion with mentions or anything else. Religion isn't something to be done with mentality. Even my father-in-law probably isn't in a relationship with his current religion due to his mentality. (If so, that's a terrible story.) So my father-in-law doesn't really think that way either; I just want to think that's the best thing for you and he's soliciting you.

However, there are definitely things that cannot be accepted, even if it is an act that is considered good.

If it's hard to accept, wouldn't it be a good idea to accept your father-in-law's thoughts as happy and thankful, but don't let your father-in-law get swept away by your father-in-law's thoughts.

I'm invited, so I go in for now; I can't refuse, so I go in even though I'm not sure; I'm not interested but I go in because it's an atmosphere where I have to go in

Think about it for a moment and wonder if it was something like that.

Wouldn't it be like listening to the stories of those being proselytized, “finding meaning” and believing in the same religion as comrades?

> > I often went to grave cleaning and prayers when I was taken care of by my grandparents in my father and son family, so I have a lot of feelings for ossuaries, graves, and grandparents.
When my father dies, of course, I want to put him in the same ossuary as my grandparents, and I also want to be in the same place when I die.

Isn't this the answer?
While cleaning graves and praying, feelings about that religion come out of one's own will, and as a result, “I want to know more about the teachings of this religion,” “I want to protect graves,” and “I want to enter graves together,” and “I think they will enter graves together.”

If only the religion you believe in is true, and everything else is wrong, how stifling is it to live in a place where so many religions are mixed up like in Japan.
I definitely want them to inherit the Buddhist altar, because even that Buddhist altar is imbued with the feelings and memories of many people who prayed in front of the Buddhist altar.

Wouldn't it be much more pleasant to have someone honestly sympathize with religion and walk together as comrades rather than brainwashing someone by force?

I think the fervent solicitations from my father-in-law will continue even after that, but I would like you to share your feelings of cherishing the religion you really want to believe in.

If you say no, say, “My family has believed in this religion for generations, and I really sympathize with it. My father-in-law's family fervently believes in that religion, and I think that's fine. I have a strong desire to cherish the religion I want to believe in, so I can't meet my father-in-law's expectations, but I have no intention of denying it, and the feeling of believing is the same.” Maybe it's also a good idea to try conveying it from the front

Inheriting an ossuary and a tomb
It's not just about being a manager.
Have faith (faith/belief)
It's about facing the Buddha and your ancestors.

Also, a number of religions,
It's impossible to have it within yourself.

“Because as the eldest son, I have to protect my ossuary and grave”
“Because as the eldest son, I have to inherit the family's religion”
Can't you refuse on the grounds that your son-in-law isn't adopted?

Buddhist love is mercy.
Mercy is wishing for the other person's happiness. Understanding the other person's suffering. Get rid of the other person's suffering.
If you face your wife and each other with mercy, I think you'll find the answer.
Please find the answers as a couple.

I didn't marry my father-in-law.

Various hardships will continue to occur.
I would like the couple to work together to overcome it.

Note, since you are a Shinshu, once you believe in Amitabha once and praise Nembutsu once, there's nothing to worry about even if you convert to another religion afterwards.
When you run out of life, when you can't go to heaven, or when you don't become a Buddha, Amida Buddha will pick you up from the Pure Land of Paradise.
So don't worry.

Speaking of which, the Buddha said that couples with the same faith will be able to live together in the next life.

　It means “fight with your father-in-law,” and I'm not talking about the title.

Both you and your father-in-law seem ignorant about cemeteries and ossuaries managed by religious corporations, so I said it. The current Constitution of Japan guarantees “freedom of religion.” In accordance with this constitutional provision, we are also engaged in religious activities. Also, I have the authority to perform rituals in accordance with the doctrines and rituals of my own denomination religion at ritualistic facilities such as the main hall of my temple or at the precincts and managed graveyards. Therefore, “I want you to sing hymns at the main hall of the temple.” Even if there is an offer, you can refuse it. “The deceased was baptized in Christianity, so I want to engrave the baptism name on the tombstone in the temple's graveyard.” Even if I was told that wish, I would refuse it.

Every temple has established “cemetery management rules,” and the following regulations have been established among them.
“(Cancellation of use due to violation)
Article 6 When a graveyard user falls under one of the items on the left, the manager can cancel the permission to use the graveyard user without requiring any notification.
(i) When you ignore or obstruct memorial services and practices of the 00 sect (the name of that temple's sect).
(ii) When a ceremony, memorial service, ceremony, or other religious act of another religion or denomination is performed within the precincts or graveyard.”

I think temples in the Otani school probably have similar “cemetery management rules.” You've probably already received the rules at your parents' house, but if you don't see them, go to the temple to check them. father-in-law (?) Also, “Since freedom of religion at the family temple must also be protected, we must properly check what is OK to do and what not to do.” Let's tell them.