I don't feel like I'm alive

Apart from whether or not you think it's hard...

I think it's natural that you don't feel alive.

That's because they're not alive.

In Buddhism, this is also called “selflessness.”
Selflessness has come together to create life.

I am by no means living from my own heart.
Therefore, the “feeling of being alive” is something that cannot be described originally
I understand that.

But life is somewhere like you,
Maybe they want to feel a sense of being alive.

I will dare to ignore morality and talk about it.

I don't deny self-harm.
If there's blood to shed, I think I should shed it.

However, if the same “flush” thing is fine,
I want to shed “tears.” Even “pee” is fine.

If you want pain, place your left foot on your right thigh
Put your right foot on your left thigh and sit for about 2 hours
You can experience more pain than self-harm.
If you're a kid, I'll substitute it.

I feel like blood is a waste.

You might as well dare to try falling to the bottom.
We're both living in hell anyway.
Hell is “the world of extreme suffering where things don't go the way you want them to”
That's it.
Things just don't turn out the way I want them to, either.

However, the boy said, “Tomorrow will surely get better”
That prayer is the only thing I can have in this hell.

Here, in response to the many questions, almost all of them will be answered
I'm sure we'll get more answers tomorrow.

You must have thought that and asked the question.
“Tomorrow will definitely be better.” somewhere in your consciousness
That's because that prayer was there.

That prayer is
It becomes a light that illuminates your feet.
I think so. There is no mystery.
But humans have walked by “praying.”
You are walking that path, too.

May you be at peace,
I pray earnestly, sincerely. well then. well then. Gassho

When I look at my own blood, I finally feel that I'm alive,

It was painful, wasn't it, I experienced it too.

When I was young, I suddenly lost an important person, was deceived, despaired,

But it may be miraculous, but I still have life.

What makes Tanu-san wonderful is that they feel alive and know that eventually this life will come to an end.

Most people probably live a laid-back life without noticing or thinking about such things.

I can tell from the sentences that Tanu-san is definitely a person with strong sensitivity and a clean heart.

They don't do their job properly, have friends,

I'm sure it's hard to understand, but they are loved and understood in no small part.

There is no such thing as a meaningless life, and I still don't understand, but let's start worrying and thinking together.

Stop looking for a sense of being alive with your body's senses and switch to a mode where you feel it with your heart.
You may be in an inferior position where you hurt yourself on a regular basis, but humans are neither superior nor inferior in the first place.
If there is one, it's just someone has appreciated it.
It's just that I'm still being deceived by that evaluation.
Zazen does not aim to sit; it frees oneself from thought.
Once you are free from your thoughts, you won't have to blame yourself.
You will be able to affirm your dignity.
You will be able to forgive yourself for your existence. My sense of bullying myself and attacking others stops.
Acknowledging the way you are means acknowledging yourself as you are before being evaluated by others, right? The fact that I'm running into self-harm, like this, etc... is already evaluating myself as inferior through evaluations from someone else.
Please try zazen.
I think the senses of body and mind will be regained.
Please stop bullying yourself and be able to acknowledge things positively.
To that end, it's about waking up to the “law,” a world where there is no denial or affirmation, there is no good or bad, and before the evaluation of oneself or others. The “law” is always around you, but just as fish are in the water and don't know water, we are also within the law and simply don't notice the law.
What makes me notice this is Buddhist practice.
We recommend zazen meditation and other Buddhist practices.
If there are few opportunities, please search for TOKYO ZEN on Facebook and participate (apply).

Tanu-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

The feeling of being alive... certainly our whole life is ephemeral, as described as “like a dream.”

Question “My Real Mother's Death”
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/1002972230.html

“... In our real world, the fact that there is no entity that makes it permanent and eternal is not found anywhere, and that there is no self-nature that defines it is called “empty,” but since there is no entity, even if you try to catch or capture anything, in the end, nothing can be grasped or captured; this is exactly expressed as “just like a dream.” ・・”

“... after all, dreams are nothing but illusions, and understanding that the reality of this world is also “like a dream” is important in understanding the “sky” in Buddhism, so I hope you can take this opportunity to know even just a little bit. ・・”

As you can already see in Taiko Hoshi's answer, it means “selflessness,” and I can't find anything that exists independently and as an entity. Therefore, it is correct and natural in a sense that there is certainly no sense of being alive.

Of course, Tanu-sama certainly lives in reality right now. However, this state of affairs is supported by various innumerable causes and relationships (causes and conditions), and it is being helped and utilized. The state of existence made up of relationships is called “luck” in Buddhism. If it's my own way of being made use of this “good fortune,” I think I can probably feel it.

In difficult times or difficult times, don't hesitate to hold them alone, rely on people around you, and ask for help. Also, if someone asks for help for Momotanu-sama, it is important to do what you can so that she can help her, which is also important in order to live in this lucky world.

Also, with regard to “the meaning of life,” we have answered the following questions so far, so please take a moment to read.

http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/cat_318924.html

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho