The stress of not having words of gratitude from my wife

Summy is really working hard, isn't she?
I also have to learn...

・A detached house that was as close as possible to my wife's wishes was purchased with a loan and fully renovated.
・Even in renovation, I incorporate my wife's preferences and opinions as much as possible regarding floor plans and designs.
・When it comes to loans, I will also arrange them alone.
・I support all living expenses and food expenses.
・I am also responsible for 60% of the housework.
・They also own investment properties for their families.
・I don't have a single word of gratitude.

Is your wife a queen? It makes me think.
But maybe I was asked to do too many things
On the other hand, I was wondering if it had become a burden.

That's because cases like that are probably possible.

However, as far as I asked for their profile...
It might be a little tough from Summy's point of view.

Maybe
“You” don't move according to your wife's request
It's better for the “wife” to be able to move as requested by the wife
Words of gratitude might come up.

Gratitude is
More than “something someone did”
It's better for “what I made you do”
I think words of gratitude come up, don't you think?
That also depends on the wife, so I can't say anything about it.

That's why
From Summy's side
“I'm glad I had the experience of buying a detached house. I'm thankful for that now.”
“Thanks to the renovation, I learned about floor planning and design, thank you.”
“Since I got a loan, I'm more concerned about my health than ever before. Thanks.”

It's okay if it's a lie, so why don't you say it.

even if it's a combination
Being able to take pride in what you do
That's because it depends on yourself.
Even if I can't do it, I'm sure Sunny can do it.

I'm not sure if that would work
Isn't the rest up to the wife?
I think Summy is really working hard.
It's a world where you can see yourself
Please be greatly respected.
Please take care of yourself.

Namu Shakyamuni Buddha Gassho

Everyone is probably only doing their own thing.
So are you.
So is my wife.
It's not that I'm the only one on my mind.
It means I only see my own world through my own brain.
Of course, misunderstandings and misunderstandings will occur if there is a lack of communication because you are living with someone you see through your own brain.
That's basic.
“There” is basic.
That's why your opponent is also a “mirror.”
The other person is an image reflected in this mirror, a projection of myself.
An entity that influences the self. Communication is only possible when they resonate with each other.
Even though they seem to be communicating on diplomatic issues, the fact that the conversation doesn't mesh doesn't turn into communication. No matter how close they are, the fact that their opinions are out of touch or misunderstood is just that they are not communicating.
So are my posts and posts. Some people may feel uncomfortable, but I don't know them.
I'm also just expressing my opinion to the person I see in my brain.
Interacting and communicating with people is the same for animals.
If this person is murderous, the opponent will also be careful and alert.
It's about having ambition, a spirit of empathy, and a sense of bodhi to try to move in the same direction in a good direction.
Even though your wife is tired from housework, there is also a possibility that she is cold towards you who doesn't have a single positive word, or rather that she's in trouble because she's done something she hasn't asked for.
There are times when you give gifts, offers, services, support, care, or alms to your family or partner because you think this would be good, but it's also “not necessarily something I want the other person to want them to do.” Similarly, the fact that you want to thank your girlfriend is almost the same mentality as that.
It's not that it has been misunderstood, it may just be that it hasn't been conveyed.
That's why we should improve the quality of communication with each other and have an attitude of perfect synchronization and linking.
Humans repeat resonance, coexistence, co-prosperity, and better communication “only in order to become better” with each other in such small places.
I'm sure you want to do this for your wife because of that.
Increase the quality of love and respect.

I read it.
I read your wife's attitude and your feelings. I don't know about the relationship, attitude, financial situation, lifestyle, or values between you and your wife, so I wonder what it is like.
However, as far as I can read your text, I think it's reasonable for you to be so frustrated.
You probably did your best to do what your various wives wanted. That's probably not something that's taken for granted, so I think it's okay for your wife to thank you.

However, my wife has any values, sensitivities, and sense of money, and she doesn't know her relationship with you, so I can't say anything.

After all, it's about the relationship between the couple, so I think it would be desirable for the couple to face each other firmly and communicate from now on. As the couple ages, their feelings and thoughts will naturally change. Let's have a thorough discussion with our wife and confirm each other's thoughts and feelings.

I sincerely pray that you and your wife will continue to be on good terms and live a truly happy life together with all of you while caring, respecting and appreciating each other in the future.

Hello Summy. I read your consultation. There are a number of good pieces of advice from other monks, so I'd like to give you just one.
It's really admirable that you care about your wife and do so many things. I think so. But who is it “for”? It may actually be a trivial matter, but I was most concerned about the fact that the burden of housework was expressed as “60%” in the sentence. As you know, even if I say housework in a nutshell, it actually spans a wide range, and there are countless things that go wrong. After that, when there is a baby, there are no boundaries between housework and childcare within the mother (wife), and childcare and caring for a small baby come first above all else, so you may not have time to spare. No matter how much you, as a father, help with housework and childcare, the weight of the mother's responsibilities remains the same. Nor is it something that “helps” in the first place. I think the most important thing is to “understand (little by little)” what a wife carries as a mother, loneliness and anxiety. If you recognize (unknowingly) that you are responsible for 60% of the housework, that is, you are doing 10% more than half of it yourself, then maybe from your wife's point of view, “huh?” Maybe it's a place where you can feel it. Having said that, of course, this may just be my disappointment.
No matter what, the couple's journey has just begun. There's a long way to go. They have come a long way, and when they both look back on the current period, I want them to be a couple that can say thank you for that time and sorry for that time. By all means, Summy, I would like you to walk that way if you are kind. That's because any amount of thanks (thanks) etc. should follow (be received) later. If by any chance you don't get something like that, you'll surely have already received the most important thing at that time.

Sowaka Gassho