I'm afraid of becoming an adult

　You've had a job at that age, and you're spending your time with a sense of responsibility. I think that's great. When it comes to having a heart, I'll tell you the value of being “stubborn.” In other words, it's pure hard work.
If you're a student, you'll probably work on things like reports and exams, but what you can get there is “practice with responsibility.” Meet the required assignments and produce results by meeting the deadlines. If it's school, the report card just changes, but in the real world, there are opponents, and treatment is also affected. That's just the difference...
Immaturity and lack of experience due to youth can also be expected if people around her evaluate her, saying, “But that kid is working so hard, isn't she?” Then, once the power comes on, little by little, there will be room. Then it's time to devise or omit it.
IMHO, this works when you're in your 20s. Now that I have physical strength, if I get an evaluation that I'm “working hard on things,” I don't think I'll be afraid even after that. I'm rooting for you!

Hello Moromoro. I read your worries, and it reminded me a little bit about my own youth. Before and after entering the Buddhist priesthood, I worked hard and sometimes overdid it so that I could become a great person even a little bit. These days, there are things (extremely rare) where people think that even stupid people like me are great people (extremely rare), but even so, there isn't much difference in what's inside. Examples like mine may not be very helpful, but no matter how good they look, they're definitely not perfect since they're human. There are probably Alas that cannot be seen by people, and they probably know the places they have not reached the most than anyone else. The more respectable people are, the more aware and familiar they are of their own weaknesses and imperfections. If you are surrounded by experienced people (at work), you may end up looking only at places you cannot or cannot reach. But with the help of everyone like that, I'm learning one by one so that I can do what I can't do. Don't be impatient, one by one. Step by step. It's okay if you don't think “let's be a solid adult.” This is because even if you don't think you'll grow, if you live hard while worrying and hesitating, you'll grow without permission. (Any living thing grows without permission. (There is also no law that says that only people who live while struggling can't grow while carrying karma or suffering that other living creatures don't have.)
Of course, I just read the sentences I received this time, so it's not like I was able to understand everything in Moromoro's heart, all of the anxiety and fear he feels, and I'm sure there are parts that he couldn't put into words himself. I don't think it's a perfect answer at all, but I hope it helps you notice, accept, and understand various aspects of yourself. I think you will continue to do such things through various experiences from now on. I don't understand what society looks like in your eyes when you're young, but it's not a world line where people with a straight heart like you (otherwise, you wouldn't be bothered by becoming an adult like this) can't grow up. It's fine. Since then, they are moving forward step by step.

Sowaka Gassho

Thank you Moromoro for your consultation.

“Disgust of becoming an adult”
“Fear of being independent”
Resolving it is probably the top priority.
The solution referred to here is not to get rid of disgust
“Even if I feel disgusted, I can cope and live on my own”
That's it.
To that end, I think it is necessary to explore why people began to feel “disgust, fear of being independent.”
From childhood to growing up, I experienced the fear of punishment from my parents and teachers. Or the discipline was strict. When I wanted to spoil my parents, I couldn't be spoiled, and I tried to solve something on my own and failed.
Disgust may come out from experiences such as.
It's about healing that experience. It is necessary to feel a lot of safety and security.
Also, if you are wonderful just the way you are, it is also important to have people who acknowledge your existence firmly accept your worries and suffering as you are.
If you store energy in your mind in this way, I think it's fine.
Furthermore, we must remember that it is necessary to recharge the energy of the mind from time to time
What's more, it's fine.
I think so.
Please refer to it.