About leaving during funerals and sutras

I lost my grandfather the other day, so I attended the wake and farewell ceremony as relatives.
Incidentally, we are a member of the Jodo Shinshu sect, so if possible, answer from someone of the same denomination
I hope so.

I have a disease where my nerves are more hypersensitive than humans due to a developmental disability, and usually
I often stand up because I worry about the toilet.
The wake took about 1 hour, so after I finished the bathroom once before the ceremony
I didn't stand up until the end of the ceremony.

However, at the funeral the next day, they were probably nervous about a different situation than usual, about 2 times before the ceremony
Even though I went to the bathroom, after about 30 minutes I went to the bathroom while reciting sutras
It made me want to go.
Of course, I thought it would be rude to stand up while reciting sutras for a while during the ceremony
I was upset, but I couldn't stand it and the “Family Farewell Ceremony” in the second half
I took my seat at the right time.

When I checked with the funeral home staff beforehand, they said, “No matter when you can stand freely
It doesn't matter.” I received a reply saying, but after all, no matter what
If only one person leaves their seat while reciting sutras, I'm afraid that people around me will look at me with white eyes,
It wasn't easy to take action.

Excretion, which is a natural phenomenon, or when you feel sick along the way, while reciting sutras
Is it OK to stand up during the ceremony without worrying about the surroundings?
Or, after all, monks can leave their seats halfway no matter how many relatives they are
Are you offended?

For the time being, take advice from people around you, and then sit in a seat that won't be a nuisance in the future
I'm thinking of sitting down and secretly standing up from my seat by watching the timing.

4 Zen Responses

I don't know

I can't see or hear because I'm focused. Please don't worry about the monks.

Something that can't be helped

It's a physiological phenomenon. It can't be helped.
Please don't worry about it.
We monks are basically concentrating on chanting sutras.

Jodo Shinshu working together

In the Jodo Shinshu sect, especially at vigils, I think there are many cases where all the people at the funeral work together to perform the work of “Seishin Butsujo.” (Varies by region)
Since there is no ceremony called “guidance” in the Jodo Shinshu sect, rather than assuming that only monks perform the funeral, they attend the ceremony thinking that all people at the funeral will perform Nembutsu.

Certainly, everyone is curious about what the funeral goers and monks think.
Not limited to inquiries, it is not uncommon for people to get sick and leave due to the loss of a loved one or the continuous tension at the funeral. In particular, relatives and close people may be invited to the funeral with insomnia from around the time of death.

It's an average answer, but they won't overdo it or put up with it.
Of course, whether it's during or after the ceremony, there's nothing wrong with being seated in the middle.

Even so, if I felt an atmosphere that would increase tension on the monk's side or make it difficult to leave, it wasn't my intention, and I'm very sorry.

In the ceremony of spending the end of a close life together, we face our sorrow and suffering, and answer with self-reflection that we would like to be kinder to each and every one of us than usual.

It's fine

　I would like to express my condolences for the passing of my grandfather.

Answers from people from the Jodo Shinshu sect have been included, so I'll include them too.
I am a member of the Soto sect.

Other responses As the monk wrote, there is no problem with leaving in the middle.
However, if you are a relative, you will sit in a prominent seat in front of you, and it is somehow difficult to stand up from your seat.
Well, for a while, I don't think there will be a funeral for a relative, but when that happens in the future, I think it's a good idea to talk to people around you about the situation and ask for it, such as having your seat in a place where it's not noticeable even when you stand, such as on the outside aisle side, for example.

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