What is true love

I read it.
As you said, I also believe that true love, kindness, and compassion do not turn into anger, hatred, grudge, or curse.

If various desires, obsessions, greed, desire for exclusivity, and desire for control are not satisfied, it will turn into such anger, hate, and resentment. Then, their true nature becomes difficult and foolish, and they begin to repeat malice, insults, and misdeeds, and escalate more and more, deeply hurting the target person or those involved.

True love is a heart that sincerely respects and respects an important person, a heart that genuinely cares for the other person, a heart that tries to give kindness and grace to that person, a heart that warmly nurtures people, a heart that sincerely snuggles up and tries to help them if they are suffering, and a heart that rejoices and shares happiness and abundance together.

When our hearts are trapped by the afflictions of love and desire, it is difficult to let go of the flames of anger and hate, and we are willing to jump into suffering on our own. It's really very scary.

Therefore, it is necessary to move away from such loveliness and malice, and it is necessary to break up bad relationships.

I sincerely pray to Buddha, God, and your ancestors that you will be truly compassionate and compassionate with your children for the future, that your children will also be blessed with wonderful relationships and that they will be loved by everyone and grow up healthily, and that everyone will survive in true love.

The Buddha, gods, and ancestors will watch over you and everyone with a warm, compassionate heart, anytime, anywhere, and in any situation. We wholeheartedly agree

I read your consultation.

What is true love? What does it mean to really love someone?

The more I think about it, the less I understand. I think that's because if there is such a thing as “true love,” it is something that goes beyond the human way we are, and it's something we can't get our hands on.

Realistic love, or rather our love, is distress in terms of Buddhism. This is because after all, our love is made up of drawing lines and making distinctions.

Because “everyone loves you” would be a problem, right? Loving someone means not loving anyone else. I'm happy because I'm treated specially, so if “you too, everyone loves you this way,” is that love? Humans are the ones who feel that.

Well then, when it comes to where to draw a line at that time to distinguish them, after all, that is convenient for me. I love you because it's convenient for me. That is human love.

That's why love can turn into hate when it's no longer convenient. love and hate seem to be the exact opposite, actually

Love: Bringing something convenient or favorable closer
Hate: Keep away from things that aren't convenient or objectionable

So, they are essentially the same in that they are swayed by convenience. This is human love = thirst in Buddhism.

It's kind of disappointing when I say this, but I don't think that's the case. First, I think it's important to firmly acknowledge this fact. Rather, I think the relationship where people who are convenient miraculously met each other is a wonderful thing.

However, just as Buddhism treats imperfections, human convenience changes. I think this is where the game starts.

In other words, will they hurt each other by being swayed by convenience, or will they go beyond that. At that time, “the concept of love” = “can we also call it true love?” It's probably important to be asked questions from

If I overtrust that love will become my own, or that I can love someone beyond convenience, I will be overwhelmed by the reality that will not be the case, but I am tested by love only because I can't love that. I think there is a way for the two of them to go beyond convenience.

Of course, I don't mean to say anything pretentious about each other forgiving and acknowledging everything. Realistically, I think it's a task of making compromises and finding a landing point. But I really think it would be amazing if we could do that.

well, love is difficult...

First of all, my husband's ideals of pure love are too high.
My rules are too strong.
I don't trust my wife.
The desire for exclusivity is too strong.
No matter how you think about it, it's not OK for an adult to let go of five children because of that.
I think they were the type that extremely forced women to be pure and pure white. Well, that's probably how much I cared about you, but I feel that it was also a self-loving love that loves you at your own pace, and the conditioning is a bit too strong.
Of course you are also to blame. If you drive or eat with another man while married, and even if they insist that they have no physical relationship, that's out of it.
As long as proof is not possible, if misunderstood, it will stir up delusions that people don't have in the world, even if it is different.
You were also laid-back, and while your husband had five children because of too many discussions between the couple, they got divorced because of that, I don't think that's true love for the husband either.
The fact that you also betrayed or was regarded as an act of betrayal is out,
If you love each other, you should be a solid woman for the sake of your children, without being calm and emotional with a third party and without bringing in the delusion that you must have been like this. Your husband isn't right about everything, and since your husband is mentally a child, there are many aspects you have to struggle with.
True love is probably about making up for those deficiencies and enhancing each other.
What you are lacking as a couple
discussions and
Believing in each other
Reasserting my strength in imposing my own rules,
To make up for the lack of discussions on the rules that men and women must not break with each other,
Healing the narrow-mindedness of not being able to forgive your partner or others even though you are imperfect,
Valuing true information without being swayed by words or information,
Valuing current facts and
Don't change the fact that you prioritize your selfish ideals too much over your love for children,
Don't borrow the help of a third party even though it's a problem that can be solved right away.
For the sake of the children, the strangest thing is to first redo and look back at marital failures with a third party, and apart from wholeheartedly complaining about each other and not being able to do it again, even though there are things you can do over, the strangest thing is. A forum for discussions with fair initiative should be set up.

Thank you for your question.
I also read your previous question.

I'm sorry if it gets tough, but...
There are many ways to say hot water, steam, ice, fog, snow, but just like water is water

There are various brands of charity, self-love, true love, true love, and love, but love is love.

Self-love is love too.
Actually, it's not just one.
That's because it's true that it changes shape in many ways.

I also listen to what both parties say in divorce mediation situations, but I understand the feeling that they chose one form of divorce because it is difficult to get back together.

I'm more concerned about my former husband's words than Himawari-sama.
In particular, there is a sense of incongruity with the phrase “I can no longer see myself as a woman.”
What was the definition of a woman...
love for children. Charity that includes love for family, love for animals, flowers, and nature, and compassion.
I don't think true love necessarily includes a sexual perspective.

I feel like my former husband is immature.

Your former husband chose the path of divorce rather than protecting his family, didn't he?
I think it's okay if you get divorced as much as you like.
Still, the love Himawari-sama feels is love.

When asked what true love is, I would answer “a heart that keeps on thinking.”
A heart that continues to think about children, a heart that cares about the other person, whether it's a divorce, separation, or in a tomb. I think that's where love comes in.

Even after getting divorced, I like Suki no matter what the other person thinks. I think unwavering love is fine.
If you don't notice the feeling of continuing to be loved, my former husband was that kind of person.
I like that, but I think I can't help it.
Divorce involves some kind of pain.
Please take care of yourself first