A husband who always cites his own misfortune

I took a look at your question. I thought Nanako's way of having a heart was amazing. I feel so humble and thoughtful. If your husband inevitably utters negative words about your own birth, I think they will say these words because Nanako will change her opinion or feel that she will break down. I'm sure not everyone has been on a smooth path. Even so, the husband's life must have changed drastically due to the good relationship of meeting Nanako. So it depends on the details of the fight, but while pointing out what Nanako-san seems to think, there are still a lot of people who are progressing positively, so I think it would be nice to be able to proceed with the story as if we were going to work hard together. I hope it will be helpful, but since Nanako's way of thinking is wonderful from my point of view, I feel like all that's left is what kind of words to use. Gassho

There is no need to worry about which one is blessed, if there is a person who was financially blessed but was not well off financially, and as a result, the two had about the same score as a result.
Money isn't the only thing you get from your parents.
Quality, appearance, and culture (knowledge) are blessings from parents.
The overall result of putting them all together is that person's abilities and talents.
My husband has excellent intelligence, which he received from his parents, yet he was spooked and he wasn't able to make full use of his abilities.
It's the same as living in poverty without noticing that your parents' inheritance is in a chest of drawers.
Well, the ability to make use of one's abilities and mental strength are also a type of talent.
So, no matter how things go, my husband's current ability is in that state, so I have no choice but to think about ways to develop his abilities for the future.
Even if you were fast when you were a student, if you are an obese old man now, that is your current ability.
There's no choice but to beg for something you don't have, so even an old man with a hungry stomach has no choice but to do it at a speed that is possible and to the extent he can.
Give up half way, but don't think there's any need to despair.
For example, even people who weren't good at English when they were students can now do simultaneous interpretation with a smartphone.
By taking advantage of new tools and new systems, we can open up a future we never imagined.

I read it.
I read that you have a lot of questions and concerns about your husband's way of thinking. I don't know the details, but I feel like I understand your feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
There are certainly people who don't make an effort to do nothing themselves because they think it's bad about their own health as their husbands think. When I look at it from a distance, I often feel that it's kind of very wasteful.
Wouldn't it be nice if they did their best in their own way from now on? When I say that, I put up a lot of reasons, and in the end, only time passes without doing anything. How will those people feel when their lives come to an end?
Do you sincerely regret not doing anything yourself, or do you blame others for everything? I think that depends on the person himself. If that happens, others won't be able to say anything, and you won't be able to evaluate or judge.

After all, you'll go back to whether you're really OK with that.
In order to move forward together, I think it is very, very important for the person to step forward with their own will and move forward.

I wholeheartedly support your husband and you in the future. We wholeheartedly agree

Nanako
I took a look at your concerns.

Thanks have already been given, and after the other monks' wonderful responses, I have one thing I think about, so let me tell you.

When I see how his husband is doing, he looks like a completely relentless kid. (lol)
However, think of men as 5-year-olds! As the saying goes, unfortunately, we will always be children.

The other side of “You Don't Know My Feelings Because You Were Blessed When You Grew Up” is “I really want you to understand.” I think that thought is probably hidden.

Also, maybe,
Isn't the way you use words when you're depressed a bit condescending? Even if it doesn't appear in the way of saying it, isn't he looking down at his husband in the deep psychological part?

Men are creatures that originally want to protect the people they love, and they are creatures that want to do something for them. I want people I like to compliment me.

More specifically, number one is “I want to be cool.” That's it.
So can you keep them cool forever? That's the point.
It tests my wife's ability.

“I don't have any strength.” If you lose your self-esteem, you will stubbornly close your heart, and you will become more and more addicted to bad people.

If you look at partnerships from a different angle,
Partners are strange, and they have the property of growing by sharing childhood wounds and the love they wanted their parents to give them.

Maybe Nanako-san is trying to heal past wounds that her husband has been hurt since he was a child and felt burdened by the friends and environment around him. (Although the person himself is unaware of that)

If Nanako can heal her husband's past wounds now, and her confidence and pride return to her husband, she may change like a different person.

Of course, as a premise, everything is the husband's responsibility, and it's his husband's problem.
When it comes to partners, the story changes slightly, and the two of them exchange assignments.
There are quite a few things that healing your current husband has led to Nanako's challenges.
So I married that person and became my partner.

If you get through this, both of you can grow a lot.
It's also interesting to try working on it from such an angle.

I pray that Nanako's heart will become even a little lighter and be enveloped in warm light.
Namu Amida Buddha. We clap hands.