Is it OK to wait for a married guy with an age difference

I'm in my 20s and he's married in my 40s.
I was pressured by my former boss and it's been about a year since we started a relationship. Currently, his family is in a state of collapse, and he only goes home to sleep. We meet about 3 to 4 times a week, and we meet when we have time.
They have been divorced many times until now and have told them that they want to be together, but they are upset because of their busy work and the fact that they have only been in a relationship for 1 year. It seems that they talked about divorce several times before they started dating, but since they didn't have a conversation, they even told me that they had given up. It seems that they still can't get separated because they are busy with work. The other day, they asked me to choose between divorce and me, but we haven't been able to discuss anything specific. It would be disheartening to say that I think alone.
Honestly, I think this relationship will last 1 year. I haven't told him, but if he doesn't make a decision or act within 1 year, I'm thinking of breaking up another farewell story. I just can't decide to break up even though I think we'll break up someday.
I don't think my father loved me since I was young, so there are places where I replaced him, and it's also because I'm afraid of losing my father again.
Even if they get divorced and stay with me, I still haven't been prepared to take care of him until the end. Anyway, my biggest feeling is that I want them to get divorced because I want to have a proper relationship.
There are waves of feelings within me, and there are times when I decide to break up after 1 year, and there are times when I want to stay together because I can just leave it like this. I know it's better to break up right away, and I'm envious when I see couples and couples of the same age. Also, there is a festival where they set a deadline and are spoiled that they are fine.
I can't think about breaking up with him right now, is it okay to leave it like this, and please tell me how I should feel in order to get along well in the future.

4 Zen Responses

Thank you for your question.
You're looking for paternity in him, aren't you?
But the father never presses his daughter into a relationship.
So the fatherhood he feels is not real fatherhood.
Tell him to take care of his family, thank him for his support so far, and encourage him to end the relationship for each other in the future.
There are also things you can't get unless you let go.

love

Thank you very much for your consultation.

I think it took a lot of courage for Mego-san to carefully put into words the heart.
In his relationship with him, love, hope, conflict, and past wounds are intricately intertwined, and it has been conveyed that he has feelings that fluctuate day by day. Under such circumstances, I thought it was necessary for me to learn the attitude of facing one's own emotions and trying to look to the future.

I think it's great that they are aware that the lack of love from his father that I felt during my childhood had an effect on my relationship with him. It's not uncommon for past wounds to have an impact on current relationships, and such self-understanding will be an important guideline for future self-choices, isn't it?

Even when I read Mego-san's Thoughts, Mego-san is aware of everything,
Even though I know it in my head, I can't keep up with my feelings, and I just can't move forward...
Because you already understood that moving forward also means “leaving”...

Other people may get mad at you, but if you can't get over your feelings, why don't you continue your current relationship?
Even though he's a married person, he's a man who has pressed Namego-san into a relationship like his daughter, and even if Mego-san seriously tries to advance the relationship, he's a man who doesn't want to leave a convenient distance now, but I want Mego-san to stay close to her even with her boyfriend like that...
You don't have to let go of that feeling. Please take good care of it.

However, let me tell you at the end.
Does your boyfriend really love Mego-san?
I believe that love is not a “favor,” “dependency,” or “feeling of seeking a sense of security,” but “determination and a sense of responsibility to seriously build the future.”
I pray that Mego-san will have happiness and dreams.

Please take care of yourself

I read it.
I read that you are worried about the person you are currently in a relationship with. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

I don't know exactly what kind of person that person is, but I can tell you that you have a lot of feelings for that person. I think your feelings are very valuable. That's because taking care of your own feelings is more important than anything else.

You probably can't think about breaking up with that person right now.
Please don't be in a hurry and face the future slowly on your own.

It's your irreplaceable and important life and future. And it's an important life and future for that person too. Or it's an important life and future for each person.

I sincerely pray that you will slowly face your future and that you will be able to cherish every day and live a healthy and peaceful life. And I will support you from the bottom of my heart.

Please let us know how you feel again, and we look forward to welcoming you. We wholeheartedly agree

Deliver it to Mego-san!

My name is Jikai.

Thank you for your question in light of your own circumstances and the standards of the world.

I read the content carefully.

You weren't loved by your father when you were young, were you?

For me, Buddhism is still far from truth or enlightenment, and it's just a stage where it's vague as a thin, distant light...

Loving someone or being loved is something that hasn't been answered for a long time, right?

Life is freedom.

Of course, people who try to be happy will be happy.
However, if you don't try to be happy yourself, of course, I also feel like it's hard to be happy 🤝

There are many reasons why humans are alive.
There are people who always want to get married, and there are also people who don't want to get married for the rest of their lives.
Recently, it seems that there is also an option to buy sperm from an overseas sperm bank and make only children.

Each person has a different form of happiness. There are so many differences. Of course it is.
but
I was born to be unhappy!

I'm sure there are no people living with that in their lives.

Right now, everyone living in this world is living in agony with painful realities, worries, and suffering.

If there is an affliction, the first place in Buddhism is to try to let go of that affliction.

That said, “letting go” is quite difficult to put into practice in daily life... 💦

whatever
Also, if Mego-san lives a happy life somewhere, that's all, and I'm happy.

Sorry for the bad post.

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