How to be thankful for things other than money

My husband's dependents are the same for me. Moreover, I got married at my husband's temple, and I started from scratch and am here now.
There are times when couples, families, and people living under the same roof spend time and things they share for their families, don't they? So, there is also a part where we are each other. If people say thank you every day, I don't think that much, and I think it would be nice if someone who can do it do it. However, I don't think I'm doing it for my husband because he can't do it.

Aren't married couples like that? Of course, I'm grateful when I feel it. Every day flows in a hectic manner, so if you don't feel it, it's hard to even feel grateful.

However, I like my job, I like being outside, and my kids and family are important. If it's something you love doing, that's fine, isn't it?

After all, maybe I'm dissatisfied with something right now, and I want my husband to be the one who earns money.
Why don't you spend a lot of time as a couple so that you can treat your husband with love? When we cook food together, do shopping, and spend even a short time together, I feel so happy (they bring luggage ~ they call out to me), and I wonder if that accumulation becomes appreciated.
Gratitude may be a trivial feeling. You can also notice how good your husband is.

Or maybe they are attracted to men who work hard to earn money and lead their families and wives.
It also depends on what aspect of your husband you find attractive, doesn't it?

Nice to meet you. My name is Hirofumi (Kobun).

The contributor's
From the thought, “How can I thank my husband?”
I presume that he is a very honest person.

Despite the serious events that have occurred,
Being able to work on your own business and even the attitude of everyday life
“How can I be thankful?”
They take things as “their own affairs” until now.

Don't blame others for not being able to appreciate
Who are the contributors you can think of as my own
He's a very valuable person.

What should I say to such a person
It's bothersome.

What is the word thankful
It's usually like saying thank someone because they did something for them.
They are cooperating with me, so I have to thank them.

But this is only because I have plenty of room for myself
It's something you can do.

People who don't have room for heart
Even if you can express your gratitude only with the form
I wonder if I can really thank you
I think it would be terrible to ask for it that far.

And the fact that I don't have room for my heart
That's because anyone can do it.

No matter how great a person is, no matter how great he is, he has a wonderful personality
If you don't have room in your mind
Isn't it difficult to appreciate people?

There is the word “repentance (sange)” in the Buddha's admonition
Speaking of zange, it means “apologize” and “ask for forgiveness.”

But this wasn't originally an apology or forgiveness from anyone,
“Apologize to myself,” “forgive myself,” etc.
The words addressed to myself are repentance.

I think “thank you” originally meant that
I'm guessing.

Gratitude is not a word directed at anyone other than yourself, right?

Say thank you to yourself.
Express gratitude to yourself.
I'll forgive myself.

This is the basis for “repentance.”

If it's Buddhism, in the context of Buddhism
Even though I follow the teachings, I have a self that I can't do according to them.
But I'm not blaming myself for that
If you face the teachings while forgiving
You'll definitely realize it,
It is meant like that.

Paradoxically,
“Forgive yourself for not being grateful.”
It's in the feeling of gratitude
Isn't that a ray of light?

Because they are contributors who take things on their shoulders as “their own affairs”
What is “forgiving yourself”
If it has a very wonderful meaning
I think.

Namu Shakyamuni Buddha Gassho

Thank you for your consultation.
As the name Mainichi Tsurai-san suggests, I feel that the emotions that Tsurai-san has are extremely complex and deep. I would like to express my sincere respect for supporting my husband, making his own business successful, and maintaining his family over the years. (Gassho)

Now, there's no need to feel self-loathing about not being able to feel grateful in the current situation. I felt like this was because Tsurai-san was trying too hard and that she didn't have room in her mind.
In my current state, I've put myself on the back burner, and I've been in a state where I can't relax over a long period of time.
Then, I remember past experiences that were fun in order to maintain myself, and I compared them to my current situation, which made me even more depressed.

I think this situation is close to the state of “obsession” described in Buddhism.
“Obsession: obsession” refers to a state of mind where one clings to one's own thoughts, desires, past experiences, etc., and suffers when they are not satisfied.
In other words, my backpack is filled with memories from the past, things I want to cherish, and the thought “I really want it to be like this.”
If you walk with that backpack on your back every day, your shoulders will get stiff and tired, and your mind and body will not be able to move flexibly. I'm in a state where I have lost my freedom of mind because I have an “obsession.”
In order to overcome “obsession,” Buddhism teaches ① “to look directly at the present and engrave in your mind that things change moment by moment; ② to cultivate compassion for others through the practice of mercy and devotion; and ③ to balance your mind by having a habit of gratitude.

However, when you're mentally and physically tired, it's difficult to put it into practice...
So I don't think it's necessary to force yourself to say “thank you” when you don't feel grateful. First, don't deny your own feelings in your heart; let them feel them as they are.
Also, little by little is fine, so why not start by finding small “thank you” things in your daily life that you might feel like?

Finally, try making time to check your own feelings. Examples include “zazen meditation” and “meditation.”
If you're busy, you'll inevitably run out of time to spend on yourself, so be sure to set aside 5 minutes for that time. And if you notice that you're tired, pamper yourself.

When your husband is gone, you will need to do everything he does.
Of course, if you pay money and hire a helper or company employee, she may take the place of your husband.
You might not miss going for a walk alone.
It seems that there is also a service called Rental Family (you pay money and have them play your husband or father for only 1 day) in the world.
However, after all, there are parts where only real families work flexible hours, and there are also things that are difficult for helpers and employees to handle.
So why don't you convert everything your husband usually does to hourly wages?
So, if you think “it's better than not having a husband like this,” that gives me a sense of value.
I don't think it's necessary to force myself to respect my husband.
I think it's fine to have a spouse who is inferior to yourself.
However, I feel that partners who have close values of right and wrong (close level of moral character) work better as a married couple.
Are your husband's values of right and wrong comfortable for you?
Also, if you say “thank you” even with just the shape, I think there is a possibility that your brain will follow suit and you will feel grateful.