There is a monk I can't trust

I don't know the details, but for modern Japanese Buddhism, as a job? Thank you so much for being involved.
As you say, “we are supposed to be in contact with each other on a daily basis,” and the degree to which it is realized varies from person to person. It's sad, but it's still real.
We boys are “people in the middle of the road who want to attain enlightenment,” so they all mean “not Buddha.”
So, when you come into contact with that person, you can see that they are immature, saying, “You're in the middle of the road,” and just listen to it. It's a mix of stones and stones anyway, so if there's someone you think is good and you can respect, you should learn from that person. It means stay away from bad relationships.
Even when studying at school, there are people who use it for a living, and there are also people who completely forget once they pass an exam. In the words in the Eightfold Path of Buddhism (proper conduct), “are you devoting yourself?” That being said, it is up to the person to decide whether it continues or not. So maybe.
If you are also exposed to Buddhism in no small part, how much do you make use of Buddhism in your life rather than what others do? Is it ready for everyday use? You should check it out.
You, too, are practicing Buddhism. If you think they are in that group, you can go through with a serious face saying, “No, that hurts me too,” and “Please come on.” without treating the monk in particular for him.
Again, in a mix of pebbles, “who do you see as a ball” is your connoisseur. You can throw away the stones. And once it's done... I want them to keep working.

I read it.

There are ten people, ten colors, right? As you said, a monk is also a single person.

I can understand what Hamusuke said. In Buddhism, when it comes to “increasing pride,” they look down on that monk.
People who place themselves in the Buddha must abide by the precepts and make vows to themselves throughout their lives.
However, since we are usually called “teachers,” etc., and are respected, and in a world of apocalyptic laws, minds tend to be formed that we forget to abide by the precepts.

It is also true that there are many arrogant monks. Also, since the monks have knowledge, they say to their opponents (who live at home), “I don't know this!” Self-awareness distorts the self, passes by mercy, and often forgets to admonish.

Here's the answer, but if you already know that a monk who is disgusted by his partner is a person, and if you already know that it's not perfect, I think it's “essential (essential)” to go out with that monk without looking at his “trust” as a monk.

Since I'm a monk, I feel that there is an ideal image somewhere that “it should be like this.”
That is “expectation.”

If you pull the rubber, pull it, it will eventually break. Continuing to have a sense of anticipation is the same, and if you have expectations for Hamusuke's selfish monk statue, it will break like rubber, and eventually your mind will develop a sense of doubt about all the monks themselves.

If you're a monk who you occasionally hang out with at work, why not switch so that you work while maintaining a “moderate” sense of distance and also learn how to deal with people you don't like.

In Buddhism, “People who don't have trouble are boring. I think the more troubled people are, the tastier comes out, and wisdom (heart) sprouts from their worries.”

In addition to living, the most common problem is “human relationships.” Knowledge is also necessary, but if you learn how to facilitate relationships, your life will be easier.

People I'm not good at think that “good medicine is hard to eat” that makes me grow, and I'm still going to grow from now on! “It would be a waste to pollute your own heart by acting like a monk like this.” Let's keep saying that.

Just for reference only.

Gassho

For example, even if they belong to the same athletics club, there are individual differences in ability.
There are also track and field members who run slower than baseball club members.
Controlling anxiety (greed, anger, laziness, pride) is an ability that is emphasized in Buddhism.
However, there are still individual differences in that ability.
When you see stupid monks, if you evaluate them as “good and evil,” they look like bad people and get angry, but if you evaluate them as “abilities,” you may think “it can't be helped because there are individual differences in abilities.”
So, everyone has worries such as greed, anger, laziness, pride, etc., and there are individual differences in their ability to control them, so it can't be helped, and if you look at them with a look of mercy, you may not get very angry (you can control the afflictions of anger).

I read it.
You feel very distressed that there are monks who hurt people and do terrible things like that. I don't know the details about you or those people, but I really understand that you are very worried.
There are times when I meet people like that, and I really don't like it when I see them say or do terrible things, and I really despise them. I think it's totally ridiculous, and it makes me think that I'm not even qualified to be a monk or a disciple of the Buddha.
Seeing the appearance, words, and actions of such people makes me wonder what the Buddha, gods, and ancestors would think.
Since it's causal retaliation, what those people did will always come back to themselves. Therefore, they are voluntarily deterring themselves, and since they voluntarily commit malicious acts, insults, and misdeeds, they will always be rewarded for that. In other words, you will suffer yourself. This is unavoidable.
Seeing such a figure, I swear in my heart that I myself must admonish it myself. If those people are doing that kind of thing, there is a possibility that I will do it too. Therefore, I want to take a firm look back at my circumstances and try every day not to commit such malice, insults, or misdeeds.
I'm praying to Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can live each day with a clear mind and fulfillment by keeping good thoughts, words, and actions in mind every day without doing such foolish things, and that you can respect each other and live happily from a compassionate heart. And I will support you from the bottom of my heart.

I understand the background of the consultation very well.
Even if you are a monk, there are times when your daily words and actions deviate from the ideals of Buddhism. Monks are also “troubled ordinary men (Bon no Ugusoku no Bonpu).”
In other words, they live with worries, and they are in the process of training. It is not uncommon for that person's immaturity or bias of mind to come to light, even if they are wearing a robe.

Buddhism has the “three poisons.” There are devouring (devouring), insults (insults), and idiocy (stupidity). These are at the root of acts that hurt people, and even if they are monks, they are affected if their training is shallow. Conversely, it can also be said that it is proof that even monks live with human-like conflicts.

I recommend the following three ways to come to terms with each other.

・Look at “people” and “Buddhism” separately
I will try not to confuse the words and actions of monks with the value of Buddhism itself. People make mistakes, but Buddhism doesn't get dirty.
・Accept it with “good luck”
There are causes and conditions for the other person's behavior. Even when it is directed at you, if you look at it auspiciously as “a manifestation of that person's past, environment, and immaturity,” it becomes difficult to get caught up in emotions.
・Nurture good relationships with care
It is important to deepen relationships with monks and peers you can respect, and increase your emotional support. If you do that, it will be harder for you to be swallowed up by occasional events.

The practice of Buddhism is not about “changing others,” but about “preparing one's own mind.”
Even if you encounter a hurtful situation, if you can use it as an opportunity for your own inner training, the significance of continuing this work will further deepen.
Gassho