First of all, I think the fact that my father passed away, and then the fact that I was discovered in a lonely death is a combination of sad feelings and such painful feelings. I offer my condolences.
Even if it is not possible to perform a memorial service in an official form in each Buddhist sect due to autopsies or complicated circumstances, I think it is better for the deceased to perform the memorial service in a proper form, even if it goes back in time, for the deceased, and above all, for yourself.
This is also my personal wish, and although a funeral is also called a reprimand, I don't think we should just formally give the deceased a commandment name. The act of properly holding a ceremony “together” with the bereaved family, making a pledge with everyone, and offering prayers together should be carried out. I think it is necessary to have a ceremony where people give the commandments in front of everyone and officially become Buddhist disciples, have a proper dialogue and enshrine in a form that everyone is properly satisfied with.
Funerals are absolutely necessary for the deceased and bereaved families to continue to act as a cleansing effect leading to salvation in this world even after death.
This is also not done formally, and bereaved families will continue their inner psychological approach in the future, so they should be properly enshrined. If you treat them carelessly, feelings of not thinking about parents will occur, and negative spirits will be transmitted to those around you.
One of the reasons why Japanese people are respected around the world for their great humanity is that “there are many people who have a religious spirit that respects Shinto and Buddhism.” Spirituality that respects not only parents, ancestors, and family, but also the existence of everything around them, and that excellent religious spirit are precious. If it's a parent's memorial service, it's natural for anyone to do it. The important thing is religious spirit. We should probably question the spirituality that our ancestors have called, praised, and respected since ancient times as Shinto and Buddha. If you don't have a heart to respect Shinto or Buddha, you will become your own style and liberal, so it's also a spirit of no religion. Coolly speaking, it's smart supremacy and materialism, but in reality, it's easy to fall into some kind of anti-Shinto and Buddhist ideology and egoism.
Therefore, funerals and memorial services are thought to be for the deceased, but now it is a spirit of spreading and continuing the religious spirit throughout the world. Religious people should choose it too.
If you think about it from scratch, there is a risk that a relative or parent dies and does not properly praise dignity and enshrines them, and that religious feelings will not develop within the bereaved family due to formality alone = the heart will deviate from the path of people.
