What does it mean to have children in this age

children. A parent's responsibility to give birth to life. If you wish for happiness in that child's life, you wonder if it's okay to have children just because you like them, because they're cute, or just because you love each other. Women, in particular, undergo physical changes and give birth at the risk of their lives, so pregnancy and childbirth are scary, and it's unknown what will happen to them after that, so it's just a source of anxiety, isn't it? There is also little peace of mind in the surrounding environment. If that were the case, it would be natural to feel hesitant.

As someone who gave birth before you. No matter what age, you can't say it's absolutely safe... After all, when I think about the future of my children, of course, it's also about my own old age, but I'm also worried about what will happen. However, in every era, people who have overcome difficulties have created a society. This is how we now live in that society. Not everyone is hopeless in the world, including myself. They are doing their best to do what they can while hoping for a world where it is easy to live even with little effort. We are living together with smiles and expectations for the young generation's brilliant news. Me, and you too.

If that is the case, the next generation will also build the world they will live in. Difficulties are not necessarily misfortunes. So, you can become stronger, and changes lead to growth. There are people who are working hard in various fields, including politics. I don't think what we're waiting for can be described as a difficult society.

Also, raising children is not a mother's job; it is something that is raised by couples, families, communities, society, and many relationships. I really feel it too. There were times when it was one-op, though. However, I received a lot of support from my friends, sisters, family, and local community, and it helped me a lot, and I am still supported by that relationship. Looking back, raising children was fun. In addition to the love I give, I have also received a lot of happiness from the presence of children. I can't imagine a life without children anymore.

I think everyone will properly find the happiness that is right in front of them. You should keep your distance from people you don't like. You should choose a relationship you feel safe with. With that in mind, why don't you draw the future?

Thank you Tsukushiki-sama for your consultation.

Put aside the question of whether or not to have children
Why don't you try to ease the obstacles in your mind?
The historical background and environment cannot be changed, but “self-affirmation and self-acceptance” can be nurtured. Even if my mentality is negative right now.
Self-compassion, which shows compassion for oneself, is a good way to do that.
Compassion is “mercy” in Buddhism, so be compassionate towards yourself
You will face your own worries and suffering firmly and act to reduce those worries and suffering.

First, it is assumed that your heart will be healed and you will feel safe and secure by feeling like you are surrounded by a place of calm and kind people.
Then, I look at myself with compassion as if I were meditating, look at myself gently and warmly, understand that it is not my fault that I feel uneasy about raising children, and that I am not responsible for having the fear that I will say something terrible one day, look at myself with tolerance, and acknowledge myself with a strong feeling and courage to have compassion. After going through such a process, compassion gradually grew.
Of course, if you develop compassion for yourself, it will be easier for you to turn to others.
By doing so, even if you have children in the future, you can be more and more considerate of your children with love.
It may be a chaotic world right now, but if compassion (the Buddhist spirit of mercy) is nurtured and maintained, that world will be wrapped in kindness.
I think so. Please refer to it.
One bow.

If you think about reincarnation as a premise, being born on a modern Earth where humans and Buddhism still remain for the time being is a unique opportunity to get close to enlightenment (attainment of Buddhism).
For example, there is an earthworm that is about to die right now, and when that earthworm happens to die and becomes a human, even if it eventually becomes the last person on Earth, if that person learns Buddhism and dies, they will attain Buddhism faster after the next life.
In other words, if the vehicle of life called a human being has even 1 frame, it functions as a booster that accelerates the attainment of Buddhism for those born in that 1 frame, so it is precious just to be born as an earthling.
Therefore, until the moment the Earth is destroyed, even a single person is a valuable framework in terms of Buddhism.

They put the depths of their heart into words very frankly, and I would like to first express my respect for their courage. If you think about the times and family background, I want you to accept it as a feeling that springs up naturally.

1. About anxiety about the historical background

The declining birthrate, social conditions, future uncertainty... Wanting not to make children suffer is rather proof of deep love. Buddhism explains that “this world is impermanent.” No one can read the future, but in the midst of that uncertainty, “doing what you can do now to the fullest” is the basis of a way of life. The important thing is not to keep looking only at “the possibility of suffering,” but to focus on the fact that “even in it, people laugh, support each other, and grow.” I'm sure there was some kindness and fun that you yourself received when you were a child. In the same way, future children will also find joy.

2. The shadow left by my relationship with my father

The experience of being deeply hurt by your father's words won't go away easily. The anxiety that “since we are related by blood, I will do the same thing” is also a natural feeling. You already have a strong desire that “I don't want to hurt my children.” That feeling is what empowers me to choose a different path from my father.

3. How to deal with negative thoughts
When voices of self-denial come up, try muttering in your mind so that you put a label saying “anxiety is showing up again.” Thoughts are just a “cloud,” not yourself. No matter how much clouds cover the sky, the size of the sky itself will not be lost. In the same way, your essence will not disappear even if it is covered by negative words.

4. Whether or not to have children is a “question with no right answer”
Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to have children. What is important is a dialogue about “how I want to live my life with my husband.” Building a “relationship where we can honestly discuss each other's concerns and wishes” is an important foundation to support the future.

To the knot

There's no need to deny yourself that you have anxiety. It's not weakness; it's the opposite of kindness and responsibility. Even when it comes to “having children,” you should walk while carefully hugging that anxiety.
You already have a “caring heart for children.” That heart should be the most important “soil of peace of mind” for future children.

Gassho

What my father told me was probably hurt, even though it was because alcohol was in it. You don't have to worry about it. People with bad drinking habits are usually frustrated, so they just head to a weak place to vent that unmotivated feeling, so I'm not seriously complaining about you, they just happened to run out of momentum, and just happened to be bokang 💣 because they passed by you or couldn't communicate well. The person himself also has inwardly remorse and thinks it's bad. Even if I think about it, I won't say it. People who have bad drinking habits That's why it only boils when alcohol is in. They're just being oppressed on a regular basis.
No matter what the person who said the words are, you should learn that they are the words of the person who said them, and they are not directly related to you. This is because any bad words or horrible words are “words that person is saying,” so I'm just saying it to myself. They're just trying to appease their own frustration and showing their superiority over others.
So there's no use here.
For example, you don't need to think that every horn you make is directed at you. Even if it was directed at me, right? Nevertheless, those words and actions are nothing but the person's temporary emotions at that time, place, and situation. It's not like I've always thought about it since I was born until today. Even if there are people you don't like, you must have experienced that it doesn't matter if it's past the peak. So, there's nothing to worry about. If you ask about the 2050 issue as a current problem, you will be able to see that the problem is not the problem itself, but rather your own awareness of the problem. Certainly, compared to the past, there are a lot of really difficult things now, but even so, compared to the past, there is an internet, the means of transportation is the fastest in history, work sites are smart, and vegetables and meat are given without going hunting in the mountains or fields. I'm thankful for that.
The flame of the problem that I'm sure is like this for that kid when you're there right now 🔥 Speaking of where it's happening, it's not Danna, it's not that kid, it's inside you. So, primitive times were primitive times, and everyone was fine even though they died right away. The future is also the future, and those people are involved, so we should leave as good an environment as possible.

It's an ordinary phrase, but it's easier to give birth than to worry.
If you love your husband and he wants kids, then you should take the plunge.
I don't know if the world will get better or worse in the future.
However, there is no doubt that all adults, including you and me, are working desperately to create a society where everyone can live comfortably.
It is said that terrible words were thrown at me by my father, but let's use that as a lesson above all else, and treat everyone, including children who are being born, with kind words.
“When people are born, axes actually grow in their mouths. Fools speak ill of themselves and use their axes to cut themselves off.” There is a saying by Shakyamuni.
If you are aware of how much casual words hurt people, you should be a kinder mother than anyone else.
I pray that you, your beloved husband, and your beloved child will surely be happy.