I think it's correct

I see, the way of thinking is overwhelming, isn't it?
There are times when I say thank you or apologize in words (even when put into words), I feel like it's just lip service. On the other hand, it can also be uncomfortable.

Since it is a word directed at the other party, it is only when it is conveyed (reached) to the other party. If the other person received it that way, then even if you didn't say thank you or sorry, your feelings of appreciation and apology have arrived properly.

If it's a word with no content that doesn't reach you, even if you say thank you or sorry, the distance between them won't change, and you'll feel that you don't trust the other person either.

The important thing is to properly convey those feelings to the other person. I think the way to communicate can be understood in terms of language and attitude in terms of relationships.

I want to have such good relationships with my loved ones.

I read it.
I feel like I can understand very well what you think. It might not be good to easily put it into words like that without thinking too much about the other person. I'm happy to accept your thoughts.

I think it's very important to clearly put your thoughts into words based on how that situation came about and what happened to you and the people around you.

Therefore, it's important to firmly base the circumstances that led up to that point and then firmly put your feelings for yourself and your partner into words of gratitude, apology, etc.

Thank you, thank you so much, thank you so much, thank you from the bottom of my heart... and so on

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... etc

Each word also changes drastically depending on the situation and relationships between people. That's because the way those words sound will greatly change the emotions of those who receive them.

In any case, it is important to carefully convey one's feelings one by one with sincerity while facing the other person firmly without dealing with them in a complicated way, even in relationships with people in the future.

I sincerely pray that you will cherish your relationships with people in the future and that you will be able to deepen your precious relationships even more by sincerely responding to each other's thoughts, and that you can live every day to the fullest from the bottom of your heart. We wholeheartedly agree

Hi

I know it's better to be able to say thank you and sorry properly, but the question is whether thank you and sorry that you don't (feel) sincerely have meaning.
They are also self-analyzing, saying “it may be a backlash from something you don't usually talk about.”
Let's figure it out together.

When I was in elementary school, there was something called a “greeting campaign,” and when I was on duty for the “greeting campaign” in the morning, I went to school early in the morning, stood in front of the school gate, and said “good morning” to people who passed through the school gate, whether they knew or not.
Of course, all the people who come in through the school gate are elementary school children, but at the time, all grades were mammoth schools with 6 classes per grade, so they were almost unknown people. The person in charge of the greeting campaign was robotically calling out “Ohayo Gozaimasu” to a mass of people like on a commuter train.

Thinking about it now, I feel like it was a futile activity, but I think I've gotten into the habit of saying “good morning” when I meet people in the morning.
Well, it seems that this “good morning” greeting originally omitted “early, thank you for your hard work,” but in modern times, no one says “good morning” with that kind of feeling. I think it's like meeting people in the morning and calling out “good morning” because it seems like they're ignoring them when there's no conversation.
“Thank you” also originally means “thank you” (rarely, precious), but in modern times, people probably don't say “thank you” with that kind of feeling. I think they say “thank you” because they are being asked to do something and silently ignoring it, and they think it's disrespectful to the other person. I also think it's more about being considerate of the other person rather than maintaining one's own appearance. The same goes for “I'm sorry.”

Greetings are pleasant for both those who do it and those who do it. I think it's also a consideration for the other party. You may not have said it much until now, but be sure to try it out. Even if it's a flat greeting, the atmosphere of the place calms down.

Looking at your consultation, I felt that your confusion included an important point of view.
Saying “thank you” and “sorry” is certainly polite, and it is also a lubricant for relationships. However, if it becomes an “indulgence mark for not being a bad person,” it sounds rather empty, and far from resonating with the other person's heart, it even causes distrust.

・Congruence between words and heart
In Buddhism, it is important that these three things are in harmony: the actions of the body, the words that come out of the mouth, and the thoughts of the heart.
“Thank you” and “sorry” are words (words), but without heart (meaning), they are just sounds. The feeling that “it seems like a word with only form” that you feel is probably because you see through this lack of harmony.

・Capturing the other person's heart
As you say, what is important is the “heart of caring for the other person” that lies beyond that.
Appreciation and apology are expressions of that thought in the form of words. Originally, behind “sorry,” there must be a feeling of “my heart hurts when I think about hurting you,” and behind “thank you,” there must be a warmth of “I was supported thanks to you.”

・How to deal with Moya Moya
Everyone has immature parts, and words and mind can sometimes be at odds. There is no need to determine the sense of incongruity you felt as “your partner is a hypocrite,” and you can also just stare at “Oh, this person is just a word of form right now.”
At the same time, it is also an opportunity to deepen my own way of being, saying “I want to cherish words from the heart.”

・To tie
“Thank you” and “I'm sorry” are certainly important words. However, not just repeating it, but adding sincere thoughts is the essence of what you feel.
In terms of Buddhism, preparing one's mind, deepening one's thoughts, and entrusting them to words is also an ascetic practice. Please don't be too misled by words that are only in the form of others, and spell words that match your own heart and mouth. That figure will surely resonate quietly with the surroundings.

Gassho