I read it.
You have doubts about why living is the right answer, right? I feel like I can also understand that you think that way. I feel like I can understand very well that people question the logic and way of thinking that living as you said is all right. I accept your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I think it's wonderful that you think “it doesn't matter when you die” without any regrets in your life, challenge what you want to do, and feel the most fulfilling and enjoyable right now.
Our lives are limited, and time is ticking by. So it's very good to live through the present by firmly facing what you want to do in your own way of life.
Not being afraid of death or not being attached is so amazing. There may be few people who think so. So, on the other hand, the people around you may feel doubts.
There may be times when people around you listen to your thoughts and wonder if you are worried, but I don't think they really care. That's because each person has different ideas, ways of life, values, and outlook on life.
Death is something that always comes, and there will always come a time when we can complete our lives.
At that time, the Buddha and God will guide you, and close people and ancestors who have gone earlier will kindly welcome you. So death is by no means dark, and talking about death is not taboo.
So I think it would be nice if you could continue living with your way of thinking and living. Also, I think there will be changes in the way we think and live as we live from now on. We are changing day by day.
I sincerely pray that you will continue to face your own life firmly and survive as you want, and that you will be able to live through a rich and fulfilling life from the bottom of your heart. And I will support you from the bottom of my heart. We wholeheartedly agree