How to handle the heart of the devil

　Hello. “” is a tough, difficult word, isn't it? That friend is telling me about your current wish... “When your heart comes out, avoid bad karma while lowering your drinking.” I myself would like to hear it.
Now, from my point of view, you are in a “series of suffering.”
① It makes me think “I should die” to others.
② I want to get away from that delusion, but I don't know how to do it.
It's a spectacular series of suffering (not going my way).

Then, “Observe the other person's immaturity, forgive, and hope for growth... are these words OK? What are your specific thoughts on “...”?
① Observe... Determine what kind of cause and effect the other person's statement is due to.
② Forgive... Know your own disadvantages while ignoring them.
③ I hope for growth... Since both myself and my partner have worries and live within cause and effect, I see them as being on the same path “although the extent and specifics are different, in the end, they are the same”
These are my interpretations.

I think about your current suffering... not knowing how to “avoid bad karma while lowering your drinking.” “Dipping drink” is the one that flows back from the stomach, isn't it? It's a physical expression of being upset. Thinking about that reality, “lowering drinking” probably means escaping from Mukamuka by doing either ① swallowing or ② exhaling. Of these, ① is the word “forgive” mentioned above.
So isn't there a ② path... there is one. There is a method of repenting (repenting) to the Buddha. Go to a temple or express your suffering in front of a Buddhist altar. It's OK to speak ill of the other person. You can say your own mercy. You can exhale until you feel refreshed (of course, don't worry about the environment at that time... whether there are many worshipers).
If it's either of these, you can “avoid bad work.” If suffering is resolved, it will break out of the “chain of suffering.”
I refuse it for the time being, but if the specific action of “lowering drinking alcohol” is to “say back to the other party,” it will be a series of suffering, so you will accumulate even more bad deeds. Please be careful.
While saying..., there are times when I get upset too (it happened today too). But I will calm down and follow the process of “observing → forgiving → praying.” Practice practice.

Buddha used himself as an island and Dharma as an island
I was told in my will to work hard without neglecting.
Our unaware minds are taken aback by a torrent of emotions, worries, and suffering as soon as we let our guard down due to afflictions such as greed, anger, laziness, and pride.
However, the mind is impermanent (changes every moment), so don't worry, anger doesn't last forever.
Even people who are being swept away by waves of anger and are about to drown would be saved if they were caught on to the island and crawled up.
Even if anger is swallowed up, it is helpful to be able to climb the island if you turn your consciousness to another object (law).
To work hard without neglecting is to first be careful not to fall into the torrent of distress, and to be caught on to the island as quickly as possible, even when swept away by the rapids.
So what is an island and what is law?
Basically, anything is fine.
You can meditate to observe your own mental and physical phenomena, you can chant Namu Amida Buddha and nembutsu, you can focus your attention on a heart of good, such as the Four Muryoshin of Mercy and Kizutsu, and even thinking about a fun hobby will reset your emotions for the time being.
However, I think mercy is particularly effective as a countermeasure against anger.
For example, Elder Sumanasara of the Japan Terawada Buddhist Association created the Japanese version of “Meditation of Mercy.”
It's a meditation method where you just memorize simple sentences, but you can try practicing it as an “island.”
Because I think anger will pause during the time Mercy is activated.
Anyway, even if you get swept away by Zabun, you'll get caught on the island, and even if you get swept away, you'll be caught again, and if you live until you die over and over again, you'll pass the life.
You should do what you can to the extent you can.

1. Don't deny it and see it as a “manifestation of the heart”
In Buddhism, the heart of anger itself is not dismissed as “evil,” but rather viewed as “the work of the mind caused by relationships.”
If you blame yourself, “I shouldn't be angry,” your anger deepens even deeper. First, notice that “there is anger within me right now,” and then just observe it. This is the practice of “watching over and over,” and it is a way to detoxify anger little by little.

2. Watch the “expectations” and “obsessions” behind the scenes
Anger is often born when one's own expectations that “this is how it should be” are disappointed rather than the other person's attitude itself.
Behind questions such as “why do you ignore me” and “why don't you acknowledge yourself,” there are wishes for “I want to be understood” and “I want to be cherished.” If you don't just direct your anger at your partner, but look at your own wishes, little by little your anger will turn into mercy.

3. Wisdom to lower slurping
It is difficult to “change to compassion” as soon as anger springs up.
So what I recommend is to take steps.

• Return to breathing — When you feel angry, take 3 deep breaths. It has an image of exhaling anger.
・Shift your perspective — Watch that “your opponent is also living in a lost world.”
・Change words — Chant in your heart “they probably have the same suffering” rather than “they should have experienced the same situation.”

4. The practice of turning anger into mercy
As one of my friends said, shrewd misdeeds.
On the other hand, if you change humility to mercy, it will turn into great merit.

Pray for the other person's happiness (if it's difficult right away, it doesn't matter if “at least they walk away from themselves”)

Leave it to the Buddha — chant “Namu Amida Buddha” and “Kannon, please hold onto this anger”

Write on paper and burn — Symbolically let go of obsession by using anger as a character and letting go of it with fire

This is a specific method for “avoiding bad work while lowering drinking.”

5. Knot
It's natural as a human being to have a sense of anger.
The important thing is to walk between “not justifying anger” and “not forcibly suppressing anger.”

When anger triggers you to come into contact with the true desires of “to be loved” and “understood” lurking within yourself, and when you are able to turn them into mercy, anger is not a poison that harms you, but rather food for ascetic practice.

Gassho

Shakyamuni talks in a sour manner so as to let go of his anger.
“They are ascetic monks. Throw away your greed and anger just as a jasmine flower throws away wilted petals.”
“People who seek out the faults of others and get angry all the time increase the stain of worry. He is far from the disappearance of the stains of his worries.”
However, it doesn't really touch on specific methods of how to let go of anger.
Some time ago, the book “Don't Get Angry” by Elder Albomulle Sumanasara became a rare bestseller for a Buddhist book.
I would definitely recommend this masterpiece, but that would be irresponsible, so I'll show you two methods that I, who is angry just like you, are putting into practice.
One is understanding (or striving to understand) that what we think of as self is nothing more than a “combination of material and psychological elements that change moment by moment according to the law of cause and effect.”
This is the so-called “lawlessness” principle.
If you don't have an immutable self, you won't be attached to it, and you won't have the kind of complacency that looks high on yourself and belittles others.
Anger won't occur even if the other person looks down on you.
Another thing is that when feelings of anger occur, don't fight against the object of anger, but fight against that emotion itself.
It's “win against anger by not getting angry.”
If you can control the emotion of anger, you will get a far greater sense of accomplishment than defeating the target of anger (if anything, this is more often the case).
I hope it's at least somewhat helpful.