How long does patience last

Thank you for your consultation.
After reading the previous consultation, I also read this one. I can see that you are fed up with your husband's selfishness, or rather “indulgence.”

I'm worried about Yu-sama's private life. In particular, are you getting enough sleep? As people go late into the night, sentimental feelings inevitably arise. It's an everyday life filled with worries, so it's essential to give your brain a good rest.

Even if you try to actively be positive, the weight of reality is many times more intense, and you will inevitably be drawn back to your original feelings... it may be a repetition of that. If you overdo it and get sick, your husband will probably notice the importance of the matter too.

It's true that “there is no night without dawn,” but nothing feels as long as a night waiting for dawn. While I was drowsy, it was morning... If you have this kind of mindset, you will naturally be able to greet the next morning.
Make choices and decisions you don't have too much before you have too many. Please take care of your body more than anything else. We clap hands.

Shakyamuni says, “Patience and patience is the best form of penance,” but we ordinary people also have limits to that.
I think you've endured more than anyone else until now, and you've been doing well.
However, it doesn't mean that I don't understand the husband's feelings at all.
Originally, it is said that a disordered lifestyle is the cause of illness, but I'm sure I have a grudge against the circumstances I was placed in, wondering why only I had to face this situation.
It is said that selfish statements and actions have decreased since you have spoken many times, but it may be difficult to improve the situation if the person himself does not feel like overcoming the illness.
So what should we do?
The worst thing is that you, who currently serve as the pillar of the family, will go down.
Don't overdo it, rest your body as much as possible, and cut corners until the last minute.
You can say “I can't do this anymore” and throw out the housework.
Find a place to vent your stress (it's fine to post it on Hasunoha).
I think there is probably a part where your husband is spoiled by you for your hard work.
You may be aware of your difficulties, and the recovery period may come sooner.
In any case, it seems that the husband's laziness and lethargy are temporary due to illness.
I don't know how long that one hour will be, but I hope you get through it with just the right amount of patience.

The phrase “there is no night without dawn” is true, but it would be a waste to only speak those words over a long period of months or years.
There is a dawn every day.
Honen Shonin in the Kamakura period was said, “One person has 840 million thoughts in one day.”
Think of it as the smallest unit of mind time.
If we compare our mind to a movie (video), a 24-hour video is actually made of 840 million scenes (images).
That's how fast your mind changes.
Mind (scene of mind) comes to mind moment by moment, then disappears and changes.
Therefore, I have a new heart every moment, and I am being reborn as a new self every moment.
Being a monk is involved in funerals.
Even at sad funerals, bereaved families laugh with jokes and memories during breaks.
This is amazing.
Even in “momentary gaps” such as funeral breaks, you can create refreshment time for your mind (mind).
Even if clouds can hide the moon, they can't destroy the moon.
The moment clouds pass through the moon and quiet moonlight comes out, it actually appears frequently in the 84,000 frames of “patience.”
Most of every day is a simple task that can be performed simply by bending and stretching muscles and limbs, and there is a margin where you can let your mind play freely in the gaps between simple tasks.
For example, if you hum your favorite song while washing dishes, the kitchen becomes karaoke.
“Nen” at that time is not a scene of patience, but a fun theme song “Nen.”
By all means, try to be aware of “the mind is impermanent” (a new thought every moment).

In every one of your words,
“Time spent standing where no one was watching” is oozing out.
Support your family, do your work, and even when your body is close to its limit,
I think they've been able to keep standing “so as not to collapse.”

That figure is by no means a weakness,
It's a form of deep love.

1. The state of mind when you “can't see the dawn”
When dawn cannot be seen, people feel “there is no hope anymore.”
However, in Buddhism, “the night comes to an end”
It's not about the outside world changing,
I will explain that it's about being aware of your inner light.

In other words, the “night that never dawns”
A state of “looking for light outside.”
And “I can see the dawn”
It's the moment you “notice the light within you.”

2. The light that is already inside you
Even though you're exhausted,
I keep telling my husband to “take care of yourself.”
It's not coldness; it's kindness that encourages independence.

Furthermore, I'm starting work and trying to expand my world.
These two actions are your own light.
Even if you can't see the dawn yet,
That little light is certainly burning inside of you.

3. From “endure” to “entrust”
You've been able to “endure” a long time now.
But what you need to get through the night is
Maybe it's about “entrusting” a little more.

For example
You don't have to do housework perfectly

Decide “don't do anything today” even if it's just 1 day

Try saying “help” to someone

It's not laziness or indulgence,
It's an ascetic practice to protect lives.

4. Live like a prayer

In the teachings of the Shingon sect, there is a saying “all become Buddhas (all become Buddha).”
Any situation means everything leads to the path of enlightenment.

Even in the midst of this suffering,
Surely there is a seed for a “new way of life.”
It hasn't blossomed yet,
As long as you're alive, you've certainly been breathing.

concluding
If you can't see the dawn,
Start by “acknowledging yourself in the middle of the night right now.” **
They don't refuse to spend the night and cuddle up.
It's the shortest path to dawn.

Please don't carry it alone anymore.
The time when you can “breathe” even a little
Please find it today too.

Gassho