About acquiring hobby qualifications

I thought I'd get a hobby qualification, and I was working hard to get the qualification.

If you submit an assignment to the association and pass it, you can obtain a qualification.

When I finished all 100 assignments and thought about submitting them, my mother said that the qualification application fee would cost this much, and I was told it was a waste of money.

I was told that I would never pay renewal fees or application fees for my qualifications, and that it would be difficult to understand people who would never do it themselves.

There is a renewal fee every 5 years.

If you calculate the renewal fee for 5 years, it's roughly 360 yen for 1 year.

If you obtain that qualification, you can teach as an origami instructor at nursing homes, kindergartens, elementary schools, community centers, etc.

There are free volunteering activities, but there are also activities where you can receive rewards.

I also think it would be nice if I could earn a little pocket money and expand my circle of people by getting qualifications and doing activities.

I'm currently learning French, and if I get that qualification, I'd like to teach origami in French in the future.

From my mother's point of view, learning French is also a waste of money, and she complains and complains every day, so I feel ashamed that doing what I like is a bad thing.

To be honest, I'm just completing all the origami assignments and submitting them to the association, but it makes me think it would be better to quit.

I told my mother not to say anything negative, but just by not putting it into words, she was clearly grumpy and angry, and her attitude was overflowing with things I didn't think well about, and I was filled with guilt.

I think it would be better to quit the French language classes I've been longing for since I was a student and have been saving money steadily if I come into contact with my mother's outrage.

My mother told me that I don't like buying things I like, buying sweets, or going to drinking parties at work.

But if I listen to everything my mother says, I just go to work, eat minimal meals at home, and go to bed.

My friend and mother have become estranged, and I don't have a boyfriend.

It seems like I don't know what I'm living for, but I don't know what to do anymore because my heart is at its limit every day when people complain that I don't like my mother's curse and that I don't like it.

4 Zen Responses

Are you amused by the turn of fate

Thank you for your consultation.
If you are an adult and are financially independent, then no matter who you are, you are in no position or anything to say goodbye to you. Please feel confident and push forward with what you want to do.
If you live with your parents, taking this opportunity to leave home is also a useful decision as a way to live.
However, it is necessary for you to accept all the gains and losses that will occur in the future when you get to the bottom of it, which is an extension of your hobby. Please make life choices little by little while being prepared to take responsibility for yourself. We clap hands.

I don't think the tuition fees and application fees are unreasonable

　There is an origami class teacher who is a member of the Women's Association at my temple. They began learning when they were around 60, participated in origami symposiums hosted by that organization, and are studying hard. Classrooms have been open at nearby civic centers since about 10 years ago. They are sometimes requested by the city library, and it seems that they decorate the library lobby wall with origami with seasonal scenery etc. together with the students. They also show off new works from time to time at the temple women's meeting. Also, my work has been published on the front page etc. of my temple bulletin.
It's important to properly create works that appear in texts, etc., but it seems like it's still in its infancy, and it seems like a pretty deep world. They enjoy interacting with writers and enthusiasts at the symposium held every year, receiving their teachings, and exchanging information, and it seems that it is a place of learning.
Previously, when my husband and I were traveling abroad, they made origami with colored paper they had for a foreign child next to them on an airplane, and it seems that they were very pleased. That parishioner doesn't speak English, but I was able to interact internationally in a small way through origami. It seems that they were able to realize that origami is extremely effective as a communication tool.
Origami classes do not generate financial profit, but it seems that the joy of increasing the number of origami enthusiasts can be obtained.

This is a qualifying question, but I think it's okay to listen to your mother's words. If you get a qualification and continue your studies, I think there is something to be gained. It's not a qualification that supports your life by earning income. There are various hobbies, and there are also many things that are quite expensive expenses. My origami hobby is also participating in symposiums, so it seems that participation fees, transportation expenses, etc. are reasonable. Other than that, there don't seem to be any expensive expenses.
Rather, the problem is the mother's excessive interference, isn't it? Even at this hasunoha, concerns and questions are asked about “parents controlling their children.” It's better not to fight, but it's also necessary to convince your mother. However, there are parents who don't listen. First, let's think carefully about how we will carve out our future lives. I think it's also necessary to keep a distance from your mother.

Your qualifications will give you confidence. You should walk the path you have decided on your own.

It's a world where origami techniques are also delicate, complicated, and profound. The origami instructor is amazing. That's wonderful.

No matter what kind of qualification you have, you can claim to belong to an association, so it's unavoidable that it costs money.

It's probably hard for a mother to understand its splendor and value, but you've worked so hard to get the qualification. That was your goal.

There are questions up until now, but they also deny your goals. Your mother's excessive interference makes you breathless, doesn't it?

Having qualifications will also give you confidence.
What you've decided is that you can walk that path yourself.

Overcoming friction with my mother and walking my own path

Your writing oozes deep anguish, fluctuating between “the direction you want to live” and “your mother's values.”
I don't want to blame anyone, I just want to live without killing my own heart
That earnest wish comes through.

1. The pain of being denied is “proof that you are trying to live your own life”
Your mother's words may be the opposite of fear of “I don't want you to fail,” not because she wants to control you.
However, it is also true that it has trampled on the “buds of your heart.”
In Buddhism, “jitomyo (jitomyo)”
They say, “Use yourself as a light.”
Continuing to have light within oneself while respecting the values of others is one of life's practices.

2. “Prepare your own mind” rather than “persuade my mother”
What hurts you the most right now is “guilt.”
Facing her mother's grumpy attitude, she blames herself for “not doing what you like.”
However, in Buddhism, it is explained that “changing one's own mind comes before trying to change someone else's mind.”
For example,

When I hear complaints, I say in my heart, “This person is also uneasy.”

Accept your actions as “practice” rather than “rebellion.”
By doing so, the “chain of suffering” within you will gradually unravel.

3. “Favorite thing” is “ascetic practice” in Buddhism
Both origami and French are not just hobbies; they are “ways to use your life.”
In Buddhism, “line (gyō)”
It's called the practice of adjusting the mind.
Enjoy the French sound that puts your heart into your fingertips when folding origami
Every moment of that is nurturing your mind.
Even if others don't understand it, if there is “joy of life,” then it is a precious ascetic practice.

4. Start with a small step and quietly light the light
・There is no need for major changes now.
・Fold a sheet of origami
・Tweet your favorite words in French
・If you feel like blaming yourself, take a deep breath
The accumulation of these small practices will quietly support you.

5. concluding
Rather than trying to “change my mother,” “accept my mother's suffering and walk my own path.”
That is the most gentle act of filial piety.
The way you live your “love” will eventually quietly reach your mother's heart.
Please don't be impatient and don't turn off your light.

Gassho

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