My son who is a college student is about to drop out

Deep love and conflict quietly flow through your consultation.
My heart swings between the two feelings of “I want to support you” and “I have to let go.”
It is the very “practice of mercy” that every parent goes through.

1. The feeling of “wanting to reach out” is suffering due to love
It's natural to feel uneasy about your son's decision.
However, in Buddhism, it is explained that “there are two forms of parental love.”
One is “kindness (ji)”
Love wishing for children's happiness.
The other one is “()”
Love that tries to lead children to the way they want them to be.

Your suffering is caused precisely because these two loves are colliding.
The kindness to think “it's better to leave college” is true.
However, that thought could also become a chain that binds a child's growth.
My son's life is already entering his own “field of training.”

2. “Believing and watching” is also an action
My son is probably supported by a “sense of living in the present.”
Time with friends, part-time job site
These are the “living classrooms” for him now.
If you look at it from a parent's point of view, it may seem immature.
However, what he learns from his experiences, including his mistakes, is food for the future.

In the Shingon sect, it's called “luck,”
It is explained that all events are made up of a collection of causes and relationships.
The event of leaving college may also be a “connection” for his soul to move on to the next stage.

3. The only thing we can do as parents
The role of parents is not to “teach the correct answers,” but “to be a place you can return to at any time.”
Please be someone who can say “welcome home” when your son loses his way.
That is the greatest support for children.

However, “supporting” and “pampering” are different things.
When providing financial assistance,
Clearly convey that it is “the meaning of cheering,”
Let's try to share responsibilities.

concluding
A parent believing in their child is like praying.
“I believe in the power within you”
Please keep those words in mind and watch quietly.

Even if it looks like a detour,
It is at the end of that path that he has his own enlightenment and growth.
And your “believing heart” is
It shines the deepest light on my son's life.

Gassho

A child's career path really doesn't turn out the way parents think, does it?
As a parent, I don't run out of worries. However, a university is a place you go to because you have something you want to study, so if you have something you want to do over studying, I don't think it's wrong to prioritize it. If there's something you want to learn in college a long way ahead, you should go to college at that time. Please tell my son that when things don't go well, he should come back to his parents' house and look for work, so don't just do bad things.

I read the consultation text, and my first impression was “I'm too swept away by my son's will.”
If you say it without choosing a word, you're being “slugged”
and you are also underestimating my son

Communication isn't going well because they despise each other

In the first place, college is a place you want, and you should be the one who decided to go
If there is such a thing as coercion from the parent's side at the time of going on to college, the story changes, but basically it's not a parent's obligation (I think it's natural to get involved in college)

I'm convinced that handing over living expenses, starting with boarding houses, is very bad even if I think about my son's future
I'm not saying don't help
It would be a good idea to set aside only the boarding expenses and give them all at a milestone in my son's life

If my husband is going to talk, as something I have to be very careful about,
Please ask me in detail about “how specific plans do you have?”

What is the industry like, what kind of work do you plan to do where, and how much income do you plan to have
Do you have enough skills to do that job, and what do you plan to do if you fail

Also, as a parent, please make suggestions for when you fail or get stuck at this point
Where and what can you do to make them work, this way you can have a decent life

If you decide your own life, the minimum requirement is to be able to make a decent plan, and even if you talk about your adult son's life, the minimum requirement is to have a decent plan

“Pamper” my son by giving money even though he has no plans
Giving money to a son who has a plan is called “support”

Please support my son properly

I read the parents' opinions by nodding the question, saying that they are extremely natural as advice for children, such as the severity of society and the financial circumstances of families from life experiences. Your kindness will be conveyed if you don't misunderstand life.

And what my son is thinking right now.
“While working part-time, I get qualifications and do job hunting. I'll start working next spring. I'm interested in the type of industry I'm currently working part-time in, so I'll try it there”

Having gone to college up to this point, and while receiving tuition fees and support from parents, I felt that the ambition of a 20-year-old child to envision the future and go through life like this is admirable.

Children living in a world their parents don't know can be dangerous and reliable. I also felt betrayed by the feelings (expectations) of my parents, who had assumed that they would get a job after graduating from college. However, even though it's a part-time job, I'm already working in society, and I'm looking closely at the future because I'm interested in the type of industry I work in and aim to obtain qualifications rather than a way of life beyond my studies at university. I think I also want to believe in and support my own child. they want them to be happy.

Without any correct answers, they worked hard to raise children while worrying, raised them to adulthood, and even though they drew a future image of their own child, they quickly walked the path they wanted to live. Really, I wonder what parents are.

I have children around the same age, so I'm wondering, “What is a parent?”
I felt like I grew up alone. Even though I had consulted and relied on my parents so much, I took good care of my friends and made my own decisions... I don't think I need my parents anymore. It's really complicated, isn't it?

But, in your words, “If you're happy, good. I will support you wherever you go”

My deep love came through, and I cried.

I think it would be nice if I delivered it to my son. Saying they want them to be independent is a parent's wish for them to be children who can take responsibility for their own choices and lives, isn't it?

Let's look at their faces and talk in person.
Let's listen to my son's story and the future he envisions.
Graduating from college is not the only guarantee of life.
Look at faces, feel with skin, and communicate.
After all, I think that's the best.

I also want to support my son's choices for young people.