Son's death

It is said that 90% of people who commit suicide suffer from “depression.”
Isn't there a possibility that my son was also due to the idea of rare death associated with “depression”?
If that's the case, I think it's the same as death from illness.
There are people who happen to be prone to back pain, there are people who happen to be allergic, and there are also people who happen to be prone to brain and nerve disorders (depression, etc.).
My son happened to have a brain and nerve disease at a young age, and that's probably not your fault.
Of course, family lineage (genetics) and lifestyle may be affected.
Please don't feel too responsible for your son's death and live a cheerful life.
A dark thought circuit (which continues to activate anger, sadness, and regret) makes us prone to unhappiness.
If you want to make yourself and those around you happy, it's important not to repeat anger or sadness in your brain.

Thank you for your question.
My deepest condolences to your son.
Namu Amida Buddha.
What that monk wanted to convey was simply the teaching of doing good things, and I don't think bad things are happening in this world because they did bad things in a previous life. You don't have to think paradoxically. That's because it wasn't because of a previous life.
Also, even when it is called suicide, it is often actually caused by sudden mental illness. So, I think the son's case can also be interpreted as death from illness. I never ruined my life, and I don't think I did anything bad.
Since it is a memorial service at the Jodo Shinshu sect, I'm sure they are now at peace in the Pure Land of Paradise. I think they're watching your family with anxiety. I don't have a grudge.
There is no way to make amends, but let's make a memorial service by offering something that your son likes on a regular basis, such as the anniversary of his death or his death. Please cherish not only your sad memories, but also your fun memories with your son.
I don't think there's any need to hurry when it comes to bone scattering. There are also people who have stored the remains of their partner or child in Buddhist altars for many years. Also, there are cases where bones are split into small urns, placed in Buddhist altars or graves, and the remaining remains are scattered. You should choose the shape that calms you down the most.
Did not want to go into the grave mean they wanted their bones scattered?
Maybe it meant they wanted me to leave it at home.

How have you spent 1 year...
When I think about you, it's so painful that time has probably stopped since that day.

I also read the questions up until now.
It's impossible to break through. I'm obsessed.
Of course, he's an important child. I passed away alone in this way. How did you feel? Even though I was suffering alone, I blame myself for not being able to help them more.
If I could go back to that day, I wanted to keep an eye on it and stay by my side the whole time. No matter what I did, I wanted to stop it.

I never thought about dying.
why...
Don't leave it
I want to meet
I want to call you by name and hug you

Sorry I couldn't help
I'm sorry I couldn't help you
You really wanted to live

As long as they stay alive, that's fine
that's fine...

If it's a dream I want you to wake up
I think the reality of hopelessness has been repeated every time I woke up.

The people around you, and you, have worked very hard. Nothing wrong with anyone.
For my son, my son's way of life.
They probably made that life choice.

Maybe the day when I can nod that kid's life is still a long way off. However, the Buddha will take care of your son's hard work and your life when you regret it.

This world is also a world of suffering where it is difficult to live. Anxiety is also likely to occur one after another, and our hearts become exhausted. In order to live under such circumstances, it may be necessary to have tremendous strength and support.

My son was probably entrusted with that support by the Buddha.
The Buddha never misses hearing a heart that doesn't make a voice. At the end of my son's life, the Buddha was with me.

This is how you met Hasunoha and me.
You don't have to take on your suffering alone. Let's overcome it while sharing it together.
You're not alone, are you?

When you say sorry, when you say thank you, and when you cry when I love you, I want to meet you, I want to stay close to them and put your hands together.

I'm holding a bereaved family meeting, but it's a bit far, isn't it? Online individually is fine, so when you can't stand it alone, let's share.
That's because we think of you and your son close to your heart.

I read it.
You want to apologize to your son, don't you? And I think my son may have passed away because of what I did. I don't know the details about you or your son, but it really conveys your deep sorrow, regret, and painful feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I don't know the specifics, but I don't think it was because of what you did that your son died. Your son didn't pass away because of your previous life, and I don't think it's your fault that people close to you become unhappy.

And I don't think your son has a grudge against you.
I don't know what kind of life my son lived, but I think he worked very hard to survive the life he was given during various encounters.

I sincerely pray that your son will be at peace. Shishin Gassho Nanmu Amida Buddha Namu Amidabutsu
Please put your hands together with all your heart and pray with all your heart that your son will be at ease, and please pass on your thoughts to your son, Buddha, gods, and ancestors.

My son is truly at peace under the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, and is saved from any hesitation or suffering, and my son attains Buddhism peacefully and cleanly without any worries.
Your son, Buddha, gods, and ancestors will kindly accept all of your thoughts, and they will be close to your heart and support you. The relationship between you and your son will continue for a long time to come.

Please don't blame you, and don't push you into anything.
Please let us know your thoughts again, and we look forward to welcoming you.

You are welcome to inquire about the fact that your son's suicide death and various events are a great pain for you. It's really deaf.
Buddha, the founder of Buddhism, explained how to easily change the suffering of life, old age, sickness, and death in life. This is a sukko yoraku
My name is. This method has been handed down as the Eight Holy Ways. Your suffering is your own
You can change it easily. Please put into practice in your life what you have learned from your son's suicide and painful events. I'm sure the pain will be removed and you will be able to have some comfort. Please read the poem below.

＜To me now to you now＞
Look at anger and suffering with awareness.
By observing, that feeling will disappear naturally.
Don't look for the source, and don't make an effort to get rid of it.
The serenity and calm that is born there are children there
It provides the peace you want.
Both the feeling of being happy and the feeling of being sad are in your emotions.
 In other words, unless you heal yourself, you can't heal anyone else.

So let's do it. Let's go back to our true self by observing our breathing. That's how you can save not only yourself, but others as well.

When you are able to heal yourself, you will notice that your son's suicide and the painful events in your life were not in vain. And use the experiences you've been able to heal to help others. At that time, you will notice that you yourself will be healed. We clap hands.