How to live after values have collapsed

I'm indebted to you.
After using Hasunoha for the first time, I felt much easier, and I was able to learn that “there are people you can trust” and “even if you don't like all people, you should believe in the Buddha.”
Thank you so much.

Currently, I'm depressed and unemployed. I can't tell people around me, but one reason for that is that I did intense painting training in order to get likes on SNS.
It's a hard world to understand. I spent all my time on the picture while disdaining my friends and family. It was destroyed both mentally and physically, and all that was left was illness and a large number of worthless paintings.

There was also something to be gained. It's an emotion similar to giving up or enlightenment that “what I wanted was something that didn't mean anything.”
Originally, I was bullied and isolated when I was a student, but time to reflect alone has increased, and it has become a value where the way of thinking is taken one step further.
I'm still in my 20s, and even though my surroundings talk passionately about what I like or annoy, I watch it far and wide because I don't judge things out of likes and dislikes.
But since they know “I would be happy if I did this,” they sympathize with them and are delighted. It's like a game. I think the number of people who can sympathize with each other has decreased drastically.

It all comes down to negative thinking due to original idiocy and depression, but biological knowledge that “as long as you have survived, you have characteristics that are advantageous for survival” is the final rein.

I've only been discussing with AI for a long time, so I sent a consultation because I wanted to hear people's opinions.

① I wanted to get better at painting, but that value has collapsed
② If depression and likes and dislikes are brain bugs after all, I can learn a way of thinking that is calm but cannot conform to the majority
③ Even though only logic and wisdom have increased, I can't handle the emotion of appealing that “life up until now is only a period for learning hopelessness and regret”

I'm depressed and unemployed, and I don't have any friends to talk to. People around me ask, “Why are you thinking that?” It makes me wonder, so I've been talking to AI all the time.
I haven't become such a smart and virtuous person that I can turn my loneliness into advantage. I'm lonely. It's sad.

When I made an effort to participate in seminars and practical exercises to connect with people, it was premature, my physical condition worsened, and I cried all the time in the bathroom.
My body screams when I act. I'm at my wit's end.
I really want to sleep forever.
What tests did the Buddha give me?
I want to know what I should do during this time of loneliness.

4 Zen Responses

What the Buddha quietly conveys

The first thing I want to tell you is
It means that your suffering did not come from your weakness.

1. A heart broken by pictures and social media is not a “wrong effort”

While you were alone, you desperately dedicated yourself to painting to create value.
It wasn't because of hard work that broke down; it was because seriousness exceeded its limits.
This is not weakness, but “proof that I did my best to live.”

2. The change in values is not a bug but a “sprout of wisdom”

I couldn't move because of my likes and dislikes, so I took a step back and began to look at the world.
This is not coldness,
It's quiet wisdom that people who have been deeply hurt can acquire.

It's natural for the temperature to not match the surroundings.
It's not abnormal.

3. Reason has grown, but emotions can't keep up. That's fine

In depression,
“My heart doesn't move even though I know it”
There will be a gap called.

Right now, it's just that “my emotional wounds are recovering,”
It's not broken.

4. This is not a test, it is time to “stop watching”

You asked, “Is it a test from the Buddha?”
According to the Buddhist view, what is being given now is a “stop (stay)” period.

If it moves and it breaks, you can stop it.
It's not lazy,
It is an important ascetic practice to protect the heart.

I'm sure the Buddha said this.

“I've tried hard enough.
Right now, I just need them to stay alive.”

5. What you should do now

There's nothing difficult about it.

Pass if you can wake up

Perfect score if eaten

Can I cry on the day I want to cry

On days when I don't have energy, I only need to breathe

That's enough for “today.”

Gassho

I support you from the bottom of my heart

I read it.
I read that you have had a very difficult time in your life and that you have had a very difficult time in your life, and that you are very worried and lost due to illness.
I don't know the details about you, your current state, or the circumstances around you, but I sincerely understand your painful feelings.

I read it, and I thought that you made your work, received reviews from various people on SNS, and even became very difficult. I think it's very precious that you've worked so hard to get people to like you. On the other hand, it probably bound your heart and made you feel exhausted.
I also think the reason I became depressed was because I had run out of energy both mentally and physically. And I think they feel hopeless or give up because it was meaningless.
I feel like I can also understand that your values have collapsed because of your hard work until now and that kind of thought.

First of all, please relax your own mind and body; take a good rest and heal your mind and body. You're still alive and well. Your life is very precious.

Also, it is very precious for you to create works. Rather than worrying about the evaluations around you, let's make something you want to create with your own thoughts. That work is irreplaceable when you create it; what others say is only secondary.

Also, your worries, suffering, and feelings of hopelessness, and regrets are definitely not for nothing; there are many such difficulties in living, and worries, suffering, and regrets are something you will always face if you live. Among them, you can learn various things firsthand and grow.

You will continue to encounter various encounters and events. It's also very important in your life.

I sincerely pray that you will continue to live the life you are aiming for, create various things, and grow healthily by being blessed with relationships with many people and things, and that you will live an irreplaceable and fulfilling life.

And I will support you from the bottom of my heart. We wholeheartedly agree

Please let us know your thoughts again, and we look forward to seeing you.

Growth as a human being, not a collapse of values

I don't know where to start answering, but it seems like I'm looking at my old self, and I really don't think it's someone else's problem, and I'd like to test the answers to the extent possible for me.
First, “Like!” on SNS I became obsessed with drawing pictures to get one, but I realized it was meaningless.
The details are unknown, but it's impossible that drawing pictures is meaningless, so “I like it!” It was probably understood that being so happy and disheartened was ridiculous.
If so, it is not a collapse of values; it is admirable growth.
With your activities so far, your painting skills have definitely improved, and I actually appreciated your paintings and said “I like them!” There must have also been people who pressed it, so I can't say that it was completely futile either.
Next, the idea is that depression is a brain bug, and the cause of depression is abnormal secretion of serotonin and noradrenaline, which are neurotransmitters, so that's true.
However, it cannot be applied to the idea that likes and dislikes are also brain bugs.
I believe that likes and dislikes are the compass of life.
I think work, personal lifestyle, and relationships will ultimately be determined by likes and dislikes.
The Buddha also called it “Onzou Eku (Onzo Eku),” and went out of his way to list meeting someone you don't like as one of the four struggles.
The last appeal is that “life up until now is only a period for learning about despair and regret,” but hopelessness and regret are temporary feelings, and they are not like learning.
It seems like the biggest problem is that such feelings are still being dragged on.
If the present is difficult, my life so far will feel like it has been a waste.
Conversely, if you enjoy the present, all of your past painful experiences will seem like paving the way for that.
Loneliness is not something you can do by trying to resolve it; if every day is fun and fulfilling, people will naturally gather around you, and you won't feel it.
What you need to do now is first cure your illness and get to work.
This is an irresponsible request from me, but be sure to look for jobs related to your favorite paintings.

However, please just live

　789456, life is unbearable! Please take care of yourself.
There's nothing in particular to do. The Buddha doesn't ask for anything. Knowledge and correctness of actions cannot change the way you live. I'm not looking for meaning in particular.
For now, let's live and have relationships with various people. Let's meet people with rabbit horns. That's all for me.

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