Are temple brides absolutely helpful?

　is it absolute? I feel that the question “will you definitely do it?” oozes determination.
But if you look closely, “is my mother-in-law's way absolutely?” That's probably the question. If the question is like that, “definitely not” will be the answer. In other words, you can do it as a couple.
However, there is a slight sense of resistance to the fact that you have the standard of “eating with it or not.”
“Making it possible to eat only at temples” would be difficult in modern times. However, I think that having a temple has meaning even today.
For some events, isn't it possible to share roles with parishioners or members, for example? Even if you can't protect yourself in exactly the same way as your older generation, or even if you don't like it, I think you guys should search for your own form. Maybe machines and IT can help.
I myself admit that I am a person who thinks that the way a temple should be and the way a chief priest should be changed with the times. Like regular holidays or retirement age.
The fact that we chose each other means we also accept the history we carry on our backs. My mother-in-law's approach must also be somewhat different from before that. I think it is precisely because you are responsible that we can change to a “form we can do ourselves.”

Thank you for writing in the “Thank you” section. I read your situation. I understand that both the couple are thinking ahead. Please have a thorough discussion with your husband (this will lead to your satisfaction) and search for a form that can be done.

Unlike self-employment such as business, a temple is a place to inherit “faith,” and the chief priest of a temple is also responsible for inheriting traditions. So it's not something that can be separated from a job to keep eating.

I think it is necessary to have a thorough discussion with the parents-in-law of the current chief priest about what kind of feelings (attitudes) you and your husband have.

You're probably asking them to help because they assume they'll take over. There is already a gap in consciousness between the two sides.

I still haven't reached that level of consciousness. Be sure to clearly communicate the work you work for and what you want to put yourself in your current life. Then, you young couples will be able to help to the extent possible, and the current chief priest will manage the temple with the parishioners. That is the chief priest's responsibility.

Is the temple bride's help absolute? As for the question, it's not that kind of rule, and it depends on the temple.

How did you feel when you got married? After all, we still have to properly discuss how your family (you, your parents-in-law) are thinking about succession at the temple.

You think your values are being imposed on you, and your parents-in-law are teaching you to inherit, so do it! It's probably that consciousness.
Both of them are just dissatisfied with this.

It's important. Let's have a thorough discussion.

Incidentally, I was taught that faith is important, and I grew up in such a family. Therefore, there was no resistance to getting married to a temple, and while raising children and studying, they actively participated in temple activities. At our temple, there is a memorial service every month, and there are memorial services 20 times a year. It was a difficult task, but it was an important task, and I was also delighted to have a good relationship. The people around me also greeted me kindly.

Temples alone are difficult, but the reason I took over 2 temples and was able to do my best even with two pairs of sandals is because I was convinced and got married, and I have had thorough discussions with my parents-in-law.
Right now, each couple is the chief priest, and they are doing what they can do with care.

Please have thorough discussions with your family and live a life that you are satisfied with. At the end of the day, that's what matters.

Even if you help the temple, it doesn't mean you'll get money.
However, if parents-in-law are unable to continue running the temple, there is a possibility that parents-in-law will be fired from the temple and lose their residence.
In that case, would you and your wife want to take in your old parents-in-law and live together?
I don't like that, so I'll probably let my parents-in-law, who live on a pension, live in a rental house.
In other words, even if the temple's cash income is low, or even if you don't get even 1 yen, if you convert the profit that your parents-in-law can live in the temple for free, it's quite an advantage for the whole family.
For example, people whose parents' house is a farmer help their parents' house during busy periods such as planting and harvesting rice.
In the case of a self-employed occupation, it is normal for the whole family to help.
It may come as a surprise to those who grew up in salaried households, but if you look at the long history of humanity, most families are self-employed, and I think it is “normal,” though not “absolutely” for families to help during busy periods.
Please consider the advantages of being able to have a mother-in-law live in a temple for free.
appending
You don't live there, do you?

Nice to meet you. My name is Hirofumi (Kobun).

What is your relationship with your mother-in-law
even if it's in a state like the content of your question
Stay involved to the extent possible,
Even just a little bit is fine
Make sure you never lose your involvement,
I think that's enough.

At some point
Small thank-you items, daily sharing, etc.
Or even if it's just one word, make a voice, etc.

Don't put in too much effort and don't become too suitable
There are probably a lot of subtle ways to get involved.

I think any one of those would be fine.

After all, no matter how good the temple bride is
I can't get bogged down in the details.
That is from the point of view of those who have been involved with the activities of the temple for many years
I don't think there's any way to do it.

“If you do it, you don't even do things that are natural, are you?”
I wonder if expressions like that are happening all over the country
I feel it when I see and hear it.

You have to say “do it for granted”
You won't get over it, you'll probably have years of accumulation and experience
There's no denying it.

On the other hand, that is
Precisely because I can't hold a small child and do it in one temple
A temple bride who has gone outside and is in touch with a lot of things
Even if you think about places called temples, they are still valuable.

Then, only in the form of “discussion”
You'll be able to move things around,
What is the opinion of the monk who answered like that
That's absolutely true
I personally don't really want to recommend it.

If we have “discussions,” we are prepared to break up on various aspects.
If discussions are to be made, is it presupposed “a way of not losing even a small amount of involvement”?
Have you had a small “conversation” before the discussion?

Relationships with each other as human beings other than simply the relationship between a mother-in-law and a temple bride
I think it's important to never stop, no matter how much we have discussions
The fact that relationships with each other have deteriorated through temples may be moving in a rather positive direction as a temple.
It is desirable that the temple is not everything; it is separate from faith.
I don't think a temple where the mother-in-law is on good terms or where the beliefs of specific individuals are all not going well.

I was worried about whether to answer
I would appreciate it if you could use it as a reference.

Please take care of your little one.

Mahahannya Haramitsu Gassho

My husband told his parents, “Yuchi-san married me, not the temple. So don't give them instructions this or that. Even though I'm working, they even do housework and childcare, and that alone makes me happy. If there's anything you want me to do about the temple, I'll do everything, so tell me.” I think it would be better to tell them once.
Also, depending on the temple, the year-end and New Year's Day is certainly busy with preparations for memorial services and many worshipers visiting the temple, so if possible, I think it's okay to help the temple until New Year's Day and go back to my parents' house from the 2nd.
Incidentally, I also commute to the temple, so my wife doesn't go to the temple except when she has errands. That's because my wife's parents are taking care of her and she also has a chronic illness.

The wife of a temple is called a bo-san, and since she can play a role in protecting the temple (temple), the chosen one becomes the wife. Let's think that you too were chosen by the Buddha to become the wife of a temple. There are many Buddhist rituals and chores you don't want to do, such as memorial services and temple services, but please help the chief priest and work to protect your family (temple family). Please be kind and do your job as a nurse. Gradually, you will receive a feeling of gratitude from those who need you. Above all else, please spend your day by not forgetting that you are a disciple of the Buddha. It doesn't make much money, but by having a healing heart, you yourself become an indispensable temple nurse.