I overlooked my pet

I lost my beloved pet hamster 3 days ago
I knew that multiple organs, starting with the heart, were bad a few months ago, and they were getting weaker little by little
I was bedridden about a week before I passed away, had no food, drink, or excretion from 3 days before, and was in a state of oral breathing
I didn't take him because I thought it would be a pity to take him to the hospital because I thought it would be a pity that my illness was getting worse and that it was debilitating
However, a few hours before he passed away, doubts suddenly surfaced that it might be a new disease, and I wanted to see a doctor right away, but since it was late at night, it was difficult to search for everything, and I decided to wait for the morning a few hours later, but my life was lost during those few hours
Even though they endured for over 3 days, I'm moving too slow and I can't stop regretting it even if I really regret it
My body was getting cold due to ascites due to the effects of the illness, so I started warming the cage with an electric blanket the day before I became bedridden
Sometimes it seemed hot, and at that time I adjusted to turn off the power and turn it on again
My activity and diet decreased around that time, and I suddenly noticed on the last day that I had started breathing with my mouth, and it may have been heatstroke
Until the day before I started electric blankets, I was able to wake up and eat and drink on my own
And when I saw her with her mouth open even when she died, I finally realized that there was also a malocclusion where the teeth were stretched too much
If heatstroke or malocclusion alone is left untreated, you will not be able to eat or drink, you will experience oral breathing, weakness, and death
I didn't do anything to deal with the symptoms of worsening heart disease, etc., and I had no intention of dealing with it
A hamster's day is equal to a human's week
How painful and painful was it for 3 days without being able to eat, drink, or excrete
It's painful just because my multiple organs are weak, but I also caused multiple problems and how painful it was
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Until now, they've taken them to the hospital right away even with minor changes, but why couldn't they choose to take them right away when they were in pain like the last
It's an unbearable sense of guilt and pain, but it was decided that the child who died was harder
I don't want to be saved
A cute, innocent and precious life that should just be loved
even though people like me aren't qualified to make them suffer
Why did you let that kid run into this situation
Don't forget to face and reflect on this crime for the rest of your life, and pray for the happiness of your deceased child
What should I do for my dead child to be rewarded

4 Zen Responses

Things you can do. It's about you “forgiving yourself.”

Nice to meet you. It's called the monk's hearing method.
I'm really sorry that you are in a state of remorse for losing your precious family and losing your strength.

From a Buddhist point of view, you have never “looked down.” I was close to a small life suffering from illness for several months, and I was able to accept that child's suffering as my own pain until the end of my life. That kindness was the only salvation for hamsters.

The decision to wait for the morning late at night was probably due to concerns about the burden on the body caused by moving. It wasn't an abandonment; it was a choice due to the fullest “love” you could make at that time. That child, who lived so hard with a small body, surely felt happier than anything else, that she was able to be by your side, where she felt most at ease, not on a table at an unknown hospital during her last few hours.

Things you can do to help your dead child be rewarded. It's about you “forgiving yourself.” Seeing you keep crying and blaming yourself is the saddest thing for that child.

Please remember the warmth that child gave you, say “thank you,” and tell them in your heart. When your smile returns, it will be the best memorial service that will shine as proof that that child lived in this world.

It's called “various actions are impermanent (shogyomujo),” and everything changes moment by moment every day. There is no such thing as immortality for humans or animals. I'll definitely leave this place one day. That's why we “live every day with care.” Think of your hamster as a benefactor who taught you that. What you can do to help your dead child be rewarded is for you to cheer up and restore your smile.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I would like to express my condolences on the passing of my beloved family.

Yuki-sama

I read your question.

Losing a beloved family member
I think you're having a really hard time.

Pets are important family members.
They are friends who live together.
Your kindness has been painfully conveyed even to idiots.

Fools love animals too.
I have 2 dogs.
We live together from morning till night.
Sleeping is the same.
The older child is 11 years old, and the younger one is 10 years old.
I wonder how lonely they will be when they pass away.
So I painfully understand how you feel.

It seems like you have strong regrets,
What does this kid really think?

This child is only grateful to you as the parent and owner
I don't think so.
“Oh, it's easier now.”
“Thanks for being by my side!”
“I'll come back.”
I feel like I'm hearing a voiceless voice.

You have been well cared for. Really enough.
That's enough.

“Don't be sad because I'm going to cry anymore.”
“Because it makes me sad too.”

I think that's what they say.

The idiot lost his mother last year.
My doctor asked me to stop taking medication.
It's about whether to stop the medication.
The swelling of my fingers and toes was severe, and my mother seemed to be having a hard time.
I might have lived a little longer if I had continued taking the medication as it was.
When I asked my mother,
“I wish I had lived long enough.” That was my reply.
It's been about 2 weeks since I stopped taking medication, and I no longer have a calm expression like sleeping.
As a child, I want them to live a long time, even one day.
This might be my ego.

Heaven's destiny (life given from heaven) is not determined by us,
I think giving back what you've been given is a lifespan.

This child was filled with a fixed life and returned to heaven.
I'll go down again. This kid
Because I love you.

Things this kid liked on the day of this child's death
Please make an offering.
I'm sure you'll be delighted.

Fool's father loved alcohol during his lifetime, especially Japanese sake, so
Japanese sake is offered.
My mother loved tea, so every day, tea is also high-grade sencha
I am offering it.

And please remember this kid for a long time.
Remembering nostalgia is the most important memorial service.

I hope it will be a great year for this kid too!!

You have cherished your life admirably

　Yuki, I would like to express my condolences for the passing of the hamster you took good care of. You must continue to live. Please take care of your own body and take care of yourself.
Well, I wonder if the content of the consultation was whether they overlooked your hamster. As far as you can read the text, you have been raised well. First, hamsters originally grow in arid regions of Central Asia. I think you grew up well in a humid area with a completely different climate due to the unfamiliar Japanese season. They probably took care of their physical condition, temperature control, room cleaning, and food. Even so, hamsters have a short lifespan, and they will inevitably run out of life faster than you. I respect you. I was able to face my life firmly.
What bothered me was “to face and reflect on this crime for the rest of my life, and to pray for the happiness of my deceased child. What should I do to make my dead child recompense?” It's the last sentence, but you'll be rewarded. Hamsters that have died have already been rewarded, and I think they have been saved by you. You say crime or remorse, but I don't really understand what crime or remorse it is from a third party's point of view. I don't understand even if I make up my own sins and remorse. Rather than just thinking about that, it's more important to help and trust the precious lives and friends that are happening around you. How was my response to dealing with the other party? I think we should reflect on that.
I'll say it again. You took good care of your hamster. I think it was thanks to your support that we were able to spend a meaningful time in an environment that even hamsters are not used to. Why don't you direct those feelings and actions to the many people and families you've had relationships with this time?
That's all for me.

Put your hands together and say words until the time comes when you can be thankful for the days you spent

You were able to spend time watching the situation while noticing the incident. When I thought about moving, I regret not being able to get a medical examination due to bad timing.

I can't forgive myself for having reached such an end even though I was an important child.

How will we deal with death and repentance from now on?
I can't confirm that kid anymore, but why don't you keep talking while holding hands until the time comes when you can appreciate the days you've spent with that child.

Please convey your various feelings to that child.
I want her to feel that she was happy.

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