As a monk, I lack a sense of conscience

Thank you for taking the time to contact us.
Even though I am in the position of a monk, I first feel that my head is bowed to the fact that they are honestly staring at the thought of “unbelievable.”

While properly communicating at work and memorial services, they later ask themselves again, “Isn't this an excuse?” Amidst that trembling, you stand while looking for a number of scaffolding — respect for your father, attachment to teaching, awareness of immaturity, and a sense of “I don't know yet.” I feel that this is probably a conflict due to their honesty that cannot be easily divided.

According to our teachings, people were originally looked upon as beings who “cannot help but doubt, measure, and confirm.” I've heard that not only people I can trust straight up are precious, and I, who can't help but have doubts, am being held as it is.
When I think of faith as “something I can complete within myself,” I'm worried that it's not enough, but rather, I think there is also a way to accept “I'm being called who can't be that way.”

Rather than aiming to get rid of skepticism, look at “myself who is doubting but still saying Nembutsu.” Maybe there is also a way to enjoy the fact that the work has already arrived there.
Unbelievable praising voices and mixed remarks are being heard as they are — don't you relax your shoulders a little when you hear that?

There may also be the weight of your duties as a deputy chief priest, but first of all, please don't blame yourself too much for being shaken as a single person. It seems to me that the figure of them standing with doubts is also a step within the law.

Please feel free to talk again from time to time.
Along with Nembutsu, I hope that trembling steps will be quietly supported.

I read it.
I read your sincere thoughts. I think it's only right that you don't believe it or don't understand. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
Honestly, I don't think there are many people who understand it. To be honest, there are a lot of things I don't think I understand either.

What do you think about whether you really want to be saved under such circumstances, or whether you want teachings that will save you?

Recently, too, there were times when I felt that I couldn't be saved. I have a foolish self that doesn't work hard even when I get older, and I don't have much faith.

Even for me, I still want to be saved with peace of mind, and I think I want to be saved by believing in the Buddha.
Or I will work with the sincere hope that my loved ones and the people I will be making memorial services for will really be saved.

It's hard to feel it when you're alive, and I think there are times when you don't get the hang of it.
As you gain various experiences from now on, I think your feelings of wanting to be saved and your earnest desire to believe will be cultivated.

I sincerely pray that you will continue to be blessed with many wonderful encounters and relationships, and that you will gain various experiences and be saved from the bottom of your heart, and that you will be able to meet Buddha and teachings that you truly believe in.
And I sincerely pray to Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that little by little you will have faith. Shishin Gassho Nanmu Amida Buddha

Buddha told us to make ourselves an island (state), use the law as an island, and work hard without neglecting.
If we let our guard down, we are swept away by a torrent of worry and drowned, but when we are held by an island (state), we are saved from the rapids.
When we are conscious of the white path of aspiration, we are not swept away by rivers of greed and rivers of anger.
Seichin Bosatsu, who was a professional in Mahayana Buddhism (Mahayana Buddhism psychology), was positioned as a Shamata in the Jodo religion,
Zendo Daishi showed the white path of Nembutsu = Sakuganmon from the point of view of Nensei-ichi.
Honen Shonin compared nembutsu to the master of the mind, delusions to visitors to the mind, and was told that once the delusion had passed, it was good to do nembutsu again.
Also, it is said that each person has 840 million thoughts in a day, and it is said that the mind of an ordinary man develops delusions like a monkey flying from branch to branch.
Tokumoto Shonin in the Edo period was told that it was OK to say Nanmu Amida Buddha and that it was possible to say it without a heart (devotion), and it was clearly shown that the physical appearance of nembutsu in their mouths was proof of devotion.
However, Namu Amida Buddha, who has only his mouth, is an island (state), Shamata (samata), a white path, and the master of the heart.
In other words, worry, suffering, and stress will eventually perish unless you realize it through vivashana, but for now, you can pause your worries and delusional distractions with Shamata (safe path of consciousness from torrent zabun).
Worries, suffering, and stress in everyday life increase because they stimulate anxiety with delusional distractions,
Even in a lifestyle where only Petit Shamata says Namu Amida Buddha, you can expect the effect of being able to pause delusional distractions and reduce worries and suffering.
Namu Amida Buddha
appending
It's enough to say, “If the Pure Land of Paradise really exists, I want to pass away, and I wish everyone were saved by Amida.”
Amida-sama will invite those who doubt but are nembutsu to the Pure Land of Paradise.
I don't think Amida will even forcibly take people who refuse to say “I definitely don't like paradise,” so if you are in the “paradise I definitely don't like it,” it's better not to nembutsu.

　I think they learned it at school too. Telecommunication law.
It means “believe in your own circumstances first.” Along with that deepening, so does the religion and law.
I am also a member of the Jodo sect. After all, “am I really that bad that I have to leave everything to Amida?” I thought about it quite a bit. I was told, “That's because everyone is an ordinary person,” and I didn't take it lightly, saying, “Oh yeah, that's right.” Even though I seriously listened to my parents, studied, and earned a solid income. But I wonder if he's just an ordinary man.
The result... was mediocre. Then, I felt something natural about being thankful for Shinpō.
I don't think faith is something you learn. Something you experience with your own body. Words are nothing but guides or hints.
I think your question is related to “credibility.” You probably can't believe in the law without seeing your own opportunities.
We are communicating the law, but gaining trust depends on what you do.