How to accept nonsexuality
I'm probably nonsexual
I have never felt sexual attraction towards people even before I became sexual phobia due to past sexual victimization.
What is sexual attraction in the first place? It makes me think. I'm talking about girls the same age as when they were students feeling attracted to nakedness of the opposite sex (it was a slightly more direct way of saying it, but I'm reluctant to use such words, so I'll avoid them. (Sorry if it's hard to understand) I couldn't keep up with that story at all.
I was aware that I was in the minority even before I knew the word nonsexual, so I told the people I dated, “I don't feel sexual attraction towards people. I'm not happy when my sexual desires are directed at me by someone I like. We started dating after talking about “No matter how much I like you, it won't change”
However, when I dated a man who claimed to be nonsexual in the same way, I discovered that was a big lie.
He said, “I thought we could get along if I told a lie. They said something like, “They'll start to feel like that over time.”
It's like this even when they are in a relationship after recognizing that they are both non-sexual, and even though they think they don't understand the love between girls, there's no way I can hurt my friend just by recognizing that I don't understand, so I listen to the story by pretending to understand. There's a sense of guilt about that too.
There are times when people with strong sexual desires say that they are making a fool of us who don't have sexual desire, and that you are bad as living beings. Even if this one doesn't say anything.
Of course, I don't think having a strong sexual desire is bad. If you don't even do harm, I don't think there's anything good or bad about sexual desire.
This is probably due to sexual phobia, but sometimes when comics depicting sex are played in advertisements, I feel a slight sense of violence and fear about sex, whether it is a depiction that is not violent or based on consent.
In conversations with people, I'm still not used to the feeling that I'm in the minority in this part. I have to accept that I am nonsexual, but I feel like being nonsexual is evil, and I don't want to accept it.
How should we deal with it?
