How to deal with an unreasonable boss

Nice to meet you. I'm a 27 year old office worker.
I posted it because I wanted to ask about how to deal with an unreasonable boss at work and how to have feelings.

I have a boss at work who is in a position to manage the team.
However, those people hardly listen to the opinions of their subordinates or those around them, and they tend to strongly deny the same conclusion if it is different from their own methods or ideas.

Also, even at meetings or in presentations in front of customers, they may make statements that are demeaning rather than protecting subordinates and colleagues.
At meetings where there were actually multiple people, there were times when statements were made against me that ridiculously denied my abilities, saying “you don't have the skills for your current position.”

My position was promoted through the company's formal evaluation process. Other bosses who were there denied the statement and followed it up.
Even so, the experience of being denied a position obtained through proper evaluation in front of everyone and the abilities that have been built up remains strong in my mind.

Also, with regard to how to proceed with work, policies are suddenly overturned along the way, instructions are often changed, and on-site work and decision-making may be confused.
However, they don't see an attitude of taking responsibility for the results, and when things don't go well, they treat it like someone else's responsibility.

I myself once got close to the limit in that situation, and there were times when I took a few days of refreshment leave.
Right now, my spirits are picking up, and I'm continuing to face my work sincerely.

My superiors and colleagues around me
“He's that kind of person, so I have no choice but to divide him”
“Let's respond in an adult way”
“He's not logical, so we can only pressure him with his attitude.”
There are many people who understand the situation.

However, those supervisors often take a high-pressure attitude towards people who are younger or in lower positions, and they inevitably feel pain even if they try to break up as a subordinate.

The customers are very nice people, and the work itself is rewarding.
Therefore, there is also a feeling that I am not satisfied with the situation where the site is exhausted due to internal relationships.

It is difficult to change the system right away, and now we continue to work in this situation.

When dealing with people who speak and act unreasonably,
How should I prepare my mind?

Also, how should we grasp these situations and live our lives to keep our minds calm?

I would be happy to hear your thoughts from your point of view.
We look forward to working with you.

4 Zen Responses

Thank you for your consultation.

From the sentences, it has been well conveyed that you have been sincerely facing your work until now, and that you have been making efforts while staying stuck even in unreasonable situations. The first thing I want to say is that I think the pain you are feeling is pain only felt by people who work sincerely.

How difficult it must have been to be made in a way that denies one's ability at a meeting. However, the fact that other supervisors who were there followed you is also proof that your evaluation has been duly recognized. Your worth isn't determined by the words of your boss alone.

In Buddhism, there is a way of thinking “rather than trying to change people, first look at where your heart is.” People live with their own personalities and obsessions. Unfortunately, it will be difficult for you to change that boss's behavior. However, I don't think it is necessary to take that person's words and actions as an “evaluation of one's own worth.”

Also, in Buddhism, the word “relationship” is important. People meet in a variety of relationships, and sometimes they also encounter relationships that test themselves. Getting involved with unreasonable people is by no means desirable, but continuing to work without losing sight of one's own axis is also an experience that develops great strength.

The important thing is not to put all of that person's words deep into your heart. Unreasonable words and actions are “an expression of that person's state of mind,” and they do not indicate your worth. I think even if you just take a step back in your heart and accept, “This person is in this state right now,” I think a little distance will be created.

At the same time, there's no need to force yourself into the fatigue or anger you're feeling. I think taking a vacation to prepare my mind is a very important decision. From now on, when your mind is close to its limit, please don't hesitate to rest or rely on your surroundings.

Your attitude of finding work rewarding and valuing relationships with customers is always conveyed to those around you. The actions you have accumulated are much more certain than the words of unreasonable people.

Please don't doubt your own worth. Also, please take care to deal with that situation at a reasonable distance while protecting your own heart. Your honesty will definitely help you.

Please take care of yourself.

There are definitely people who look at your efforts and achievements correctly

Thank you so much for your hard work every day. I would like to express my deep respect for the way they endure unreasonable behavior and face their work sincerely.

In Buddhism, the suffering of having to get involved with someone you really want to leave or someone you don't like is called “onzo pain (grudge and bitterness).” It is one of the inevitable sufferings in our lives. Originally, it's best to keep a physical distance, but that's not the case when it comes to the workplace.

But let's change our perspective a little bit here. While you were hurt by your heartless words, other bosses around you are protecting you and judiciously evaluating you. There are definitely people who are watching your efforts and achievements correctly. Please take pride in that fact.

Changing the nature of others is an extremely difficult task. Rather than breaking your heart with your boss's attitude, work sincerely on your work and build overwhelming confidence in your abilities. That unwavering confidence creates a strong “psychological distance” between you and an unreasonable partner.

As long as it is an organization called a company, this environment will not last forever. Eventually, the situation will always change due to personnel changes, etc. Now, together with those around you who understand you, please cherish your own core and get through it flexibly. I support you from the bottom of my heart.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

The sky net has been restored and not missed

I read it.
I read that you and everyone at work are deeply hurt and very painful by that unreasonable boss's high-pressure attitude and behavior. I don't know the details of the workplace or your boss, you, or everyone, but I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I don't know the details of the workplace, but I think the people around me are probably well aware of how selfish and lawless malice, and misdeeds the boss is making.
No matter how much you assert yourself or try to cheat, those misdeeds will be understood and spread, and that boss must be rewarded for his misdeeds.
The sky net has been restored, so don't miss it. There is no doubt that the Buddha, gods, your ancestors, and many other people are watching closely.
Eventually, that boss will be abandoned by various people. Then, we must deeply regret our misdeeds, deeply repent to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, apologize sincerely to so many people, and make amends for everything. And they will suffer because of their own actions.
It's probably hard to say, but since that boss has committed various acts of harassment, they will probably be subject to social sanctions relatively quickly.
If possible, please thoroughly discuss the power harassment you have received from your boss with the company's HR department or compliance office, and please talk clearly about what you have received and how you feel. And please get the proper treatment and care.
I sincerely pray to Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can sincerely respect and help each other and work every day with peace of mind without being harassed by such acts.
And I wholeheartedly support you.

Observe your boss carefully so that you can look at your achievements and evaluate them correctly.

People who are in a position to manage a team confuse the team with their own behavior and take mounts without being able to trust or evaluate their peers; this kind of person is exhausting with their boss, isn't it? I wonder how this person will be evaluated and be able to be a boss. Every time you're treated unfairly, you're filled with frustration, right?

If you're a boss you meet face to face every day, just going to work may be stressful, but let's keep calm and observe. Does anyone get along well with their boss? Let's take in that person's good points. Also, if your boss cares about or likes someone, be good friends with that person. Close relationships are also well reflected in bosses. In order to be able to look at your achievements and get them to evaluate them correctly, observe your boss closely with the feeling that they fit in your pocket rather than being hostile.

Also, it seems that people around you are dissatisfied with your boss. The boss's unreasonable treatment and behavior towards his subordinates is powerless, and the company cannot overlook it in violation of compliance. I don't think it can be allowed to stay this way. While increasing the number of allies you have, I think it would be a good idea to estimate the timing and consider filing a tax return to the appropriate office for power harassment.

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