Obsession with an ex?

It's with the guy I posted last time
I have another problem and would like to discuss it with you.
There have been a lot of things since my last post, but I tried using a matching app in order to look forward and switch my mind.
After all, I didn't feel like having a relationship with another man right away, so I immediately erased it.
But his friend who discovered my profile said, “Isn't this 00's ex-girlfriend?” with
It looks like I showed it to you. Right from there, he said, “Are you already looking to meet someone? A friend showed it to me. I received a message saying, “I still love it and I can't give up, so I'm sad.”
I haven't done anything wrong since we broke up, and he's the one who let me go, what do I really want? I got too angry and said, “Those friends went out of their way to show me, and they're all so funny. “Don't get involved,” I replied in a bad way, and although I'm sorry, I ignored it as read.
From there, I was always contacted a few days later, but it's been about 2 weeks since they stopped coming back. There's no doubt that I said don't get involved was the real intention at the time, but is that someone who always thought about me? If you can see it suddenly moving away, huh? I wonder if they don't like me anymore? I'm starting to feel really selfish. I never hear from him, but I have myself waiting to see if I hear from him. If something comes up, maybe I'll face it again and talk about it...? I've been thinking about things like that.
However, I also know that they are just repeating the same thing even though they have surely not grown with each other. Rather than liking that person, this is an obsession, isn't it?
My obsession and dependency are making me suffer so much, and it's really tough right now.
Sorry for the bad sentences.
I would be happy if you could give me some kind words of life lessons.
I look forward to working with you.

4 Zen Responses

From a friend before a lover

I think it's important to establish a friend relationship first, both when it comes to ex-boyfriends and matching apps. Friends who can respect each other would be ideal. You can't be a lover with someone you can't be your friend or friend.

Right now, it is necessary to reconsider “how I want to be.”

Shall I answer this for the second time? Thank you for your consultation. My heart is shaking a lot, and it's a very difficult situation. In the midst of that pain, I took it firmly.

“I know this is obsession and dependency.” It's so wonderful to be watching the movements of your own mind without misleading them. Buddhism explains that the root of our suffering lies in “obsession (obsession).” It's a heart that tries to force things that change and things that don't go the way they want to to be held to their own hands.

Rather than pure love for the “person” he is experiencing, I think the suffering you are experiencing now comes from the loneliness of the “person who thought for me” is leaving, and the desire to acknowledge the value of one's existence. The fact that you feel sorry after losing contact is just a sign of that. However, it is also an unmistakable appearance of us humans to have such feelings (annoyance) and go right and left. There's no need to blame your own feelings too much for being “selfish.”

However, as you have realized by yourself that “we just repeat the same thing even though we haven't grown with each other,” even if you return to a relationship to fill your own loneliness, true peace of mind or compassion will not be born there. Of course, if “we can be kind to each other,” there is an option to get back together (get back together).

Please rest your mind as if you were waiting for the muddy water to quietly clear without trying to force yourself to come up with an answer now. Letting go of expectations for the “outside world” called contact from him and looking back at “what I want to be” will lead to true independence and growth. Don't be impatient and look forward slowly.

worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Let go of obsessions and dependencies

I read it.
Even when you break up with that person and are looking for a new encounter, that person still comes to mind. You've become obsessed and dependent, and you're having a hard time, aren't you? I don't know the details about you or that person, but it tells me that you are very worried about what to do. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I think it didn't go well because you and that person got into an argument even if it was a question from before. I think you and that person will probably hurt each other in the same way if you don't change your way of thinking, behavior, and perception.
It may be quite difficult to let go of obsessions and dependencies easily, but let's switch our minds and face a new future.
I don't know if there will be a new encounter right now, but let's set a firm line about that person and meet and form relationships with various people.
I sincerely pray that you will be blessed with truly wonderful encounters and relationships, build trusting relationships with your loved ones while respecting and respecting each other, and grow healthily, and that you will be able to sincerely share your happiness and live a rich life with your loved ones. We wholeheartedly agree

I should be concerned about the distance between relationships and relationships

It's hard to get along with people, Mimi!
I don't know about the last time, but I'll say a few words about this one.
He doesn't have any good friends around him. I think it's okay to block them all. First and foremost, let's get away from him and the distance of his friendships. First of all, don't get involved. If it's the same company or school, let's just say hello and finish.
Do you want to be in love? Do you want the thrill of love? Humans can live without being in love. There's no denying online dating sites. If it were me, we would start matching at hobby meetings. There are many people of various generations, genders, and nationalities there. I'm actually using it, and the exchange is on SNS, but it's fun and unavoidable. If that were taken away, I wouldn't be able to live.
No matter what happens to others, I can be me. It is the current SNS that provides that location. This is my use of digital content. That's all for me.

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