The value of my existence

Good work and great!
However, maybe I've been too passive until now.
From now on, I think it would be a good idea to move spontaneously.
It probably won't work the way it used to be, so we have to change from what it used to be.
If there's a man you're interested in, call out or invite them out to eat, praise people around you when they do their best at work, and tell busy people if they can help.
Also, if you're the type that easily takes on work alone, leave it up to someone else when you have too much work. Let's think that entrusting it to others is also a job. And if you've been able to do what you've entrusted to them, let's say “thank you” and express your gratitude and praise.
Also, I read it in some books, and it seems that what is important for maintaining mental health is sleep, moderate exercise, and art (or hobbies). Things other than work are important, aren't they?

You've been clenching your teeth by yourself until now, and you've been able to survive really well. How painful must it be to have a lonely battle where no one recognized you. First of all, please praise yourself more than anyone else for connecting lives and continuing to work so hard until today. You're never sweet.

In Buddhism, there is a teaching called “impermanent behavior.” The truth is that everything changes and that the same state will not last forever. In other words, the deep and long darkness you are feeling right now will never last forever.

Also, Buddha said, “Tenjo Tenka Yuiga Dokuson.” This means “all people are unique and irreplaceable and precious beings in this world.” Your value will not fluctuate due to circumstances such as marriage or childbirth around you. The value of your existence is not determined by comparison with others.

If you keep looking at “despair,” nothing but “despair” will be born from there. Please raise your gaze just a little bit, have “hope,” and live “here and now” with care. This will definitely open up your life. I sincerely hope that you will be able to deeply acknowledge yourself and walk forward with a sense of self-affirmation.

Worship
Enkiji Temple Buddha

The feeling of “hard work not being rewarded.”
This is really tough, isn't it?

When I was a student, I also continued to live a life where my parents praised me for my hard work and my studies, but when it came to that, it was just stifling, and when it came to that, I realized that it was easier to live if I was a little self-oriented, selfish, and pampered myself.

Life definitely doesn't come back in the order you work hard
I think so.

Even if they try in the same way, there are people who do well first,
There are also people who don't get into shape easily.

However, if you change the way you look at it just a little bit,
People whose hard work pays off
They may also be called “people who continued until they came to fruition.”

Also, each person has a different timing for budding and a different time for fruiting
There are those that bloom early,
Some things grow over time.

Along the way, we changed the method, reviewed the direction,
Such “changes” are also becoming necessary.
So, a person who has been rewarded is not someone who was special from the beginning,
Continuing, changing shape little by little, “a person who arrived at his place”
I think so.

And above all else, what is called “value”
It's not something someone can decide, but something that takes shape little by little within yourself
That's it.

When you take off the “value” directed at others,
There are times when I notice that it was a heavier burden than I had anticipated.
Actually, that was the case for me.

Of course, I think a certain amount of weight is necessary for life.

However, if it's so heavy that you can't move,
Maybe it's okay to let go of that already.

Even with such a sense of distance,
I think I'll be able to live long enough.

Me and everyone watching here
Right, I'm watching Gumi's hard work and effort.
Please tell me again what you are working hard for.

I don't think it's okay to cut out the present and not lament the situation we're in. The people around you will also change from the situation they are currently facing. Your life isn't necessarily the way it is right now, either. There are people who see marriage and childbirth as value for the chosen one, and there are also people who see value and happiness as different things, thinking that there is such a way of life.

It must have been very painful for you to be able to live your student life without allies. The reason I've been able to stand this far is because I want to be happy, isn't it? The future that I have hoped would be happy when I became an adult is not only given (prepared) by those around me, but it is also possible to acquire it from myself.

I'm not happy right now.
So what is the future you envision? Is it marriage? If that's the case, seek encounters in order to advance your relationship. Also, you can refine your own appeal as it develops into a love affair.
Why don't we think about them one by one together? I think being able to talk about that kind of thing is an understanding relationship. Hasunoha monks also have plenty of life experiences. Please rely on it a lot.