I avoid socializing too much.

Thank you for your consultation.

He wrote about himself with words such as “molesty,” “childish,” and “pathetic.” You've been blaming yourself for that long, haven't you?

Let me change the way I look at it a bit.

I don't think it's because you're weak that you avoid relationships or delete contacts. That's because I was so serious about dealing with people. I think that's why I'm tired. If you treat people with a sloppy feeling, you won't be hurt that deeply.

Being deeply involved with people hurts, so keeping a distance... it's a very natural defensive response to protect one's own mental health. It's not funny or embarrassing. However, there is only one thing that bothers me.

After “running away,” aren't you relieved and blamed yourself again from there? I'm hurt by running away, and I'm hurt again by the pity that I ran away. I felt like I was in the midst of that double pain.

However, the phrase “I really want to connect with people” was in the sentence. If you continue to choose loneliness, even though you suffer, and still continue to have that feeling, I don't think you have come to dislike getting involved with people.

You don't have to be impatient. There isn't just one way to connect. Being in a deep and long relationship isn't the only way to have a relationship with someone. If you meet someone you can greet without hesitation, that alone is a good enough relationship. Little by little, as far as you can do now.
First, let go of blaming yourself for a moment. I think that alone will make it a little easier than it is now.

If the weight of your heart continues in the future, consider asking not only Hasunoha here, but also medical experts to listen to you. You don't have to hold it alone. I want you to take good care of yourself.

Life is a series of shame.
There are many times when I think back to the old days and want to say “ah” out loud.
Everyone, that's right.
But that doesn't mean I wish I hadn't gone out with anyone.
When different people hang out with each other, something collides with each other, so it's good to bump into each other, be ashamed, and roll up little by little.
If you avoid being afraid of bumping into each other from the beginning, you won't grow as a person, and your life will be boring.
As you repeat these things, you will surely find a friend you like and a partner you respect.
If you fail once, fail twice, or fail three times, don't worry.
Let's take the plunge and embarrass ourselves.
There are so many people in the world, and there are lots of people waiting to meet them.

Thank you Yuzu-sama for your consultation.

It seems that people who avoid connecting with people are often traumatized by past failures, experiences of shame, and fear.
Or people who were made to decide everything by themselves without feeling the love they were supposed to receive from their parents or guardians in their childhood are bad at relying on others, and they are not good at talking.
Also, people who are subject to strict discipline, anger directed at them by leaving it up to their emotions, verbal violence, or worst abuse begin to blame themselves for being bad, so it is easier to fall into loneliness. The same is true if you were bullied during your school years.
If Yuzu-sama has any idea of the above, it's a good idea to start by fully feeling safe and secure. It's easy to get tired from interpersonal relationships, so it's also important to heal yourself. If you don't accumulate energy in your heart, you won't be able to take the step where you feel connected. Please do something that makes you fully feel safe and secure. Go to a place of healing or do something that makes your mind feel at ease.
Then think that self-loathing or blaming yourself isn't my fault. Blaming yourself, demeaning yourself, or directing anger at yourself by feeling threatened or ashamed in interpersonal relationships isn't your fault. Please reduce your feelings of shame and threat by tweeting “It's not my fault, I'm not responsible, I'm not bad.”
And be compassionate to yourself. The people you can trust most by your side as your supporters (friends, teachers, TV and movie heroes, etc.) If there were pets), what kind words would they say? Please try to imagine it in a relaxed and calm manner, and try to receive those kind words of encouragement.
When your heart flutters, try using those words as words of compassion for yourself along with taking a deep breath. Something will surely begin to move one step forward.
Please refer to it. One bow

I think it would be nice if we started dating with your own safe boundaries. However, when I was a student, I was able to reset it because if I left, I would quit, but that won't be the case until when I became a member of society. They are colleagues at work that will continue for a long time to come. Why don't you also refer to the things you learn from your seniors so you can get along well?

Fortunately, it seems like a warm workplace where they take care of you. I'm thankful for the kindness of the inconvenience, but I think that they care about them also listen to the voices of their employees.

Even if you don't create a place, wouldn't it be nice if you just connect with those around you without fear of being silent while others take into consideration a comfortable atmosphere? If that's the case, you won't be excited or ashamed.

Workplace relationships are important relationships for receiving guidance and follow-up, and for work growth and preventing mistakes. A good relationship also helps me. So why don't you review your boundaries while observing your surroundings?