What does atoning for a crime mean? What if I disappeared from this world...?

I'm sorry that it was a story from a few years ago and I don't even know if it's a correct memory, and it's abstract and difficult to understand... please answer...

A few years ago, I may have been involved in an incident, and I have talked with people involved in that incident. At the time, I did what I had, and that was probably the final cause of the incident? I think there was anxiety and fear. Therefore, when I talk to the people involved, I feel that they have gone in a way of talking in such a way that the brunt is not directed at me while following the intentions of those involved... as a result, it affects the judgment of those involved and derails their words and actions...? As a result, I escaped my crime...? There is also a part where I don't know if there was a legal crime in the incident itself or not, but isn't it necessary to apologize even now for subsequent exchanges with those involved, be punished if there is a legal crime, and show an apology with alimony, etc.?
There was also a feeling that it would be nice if I could be useful for those involved, so I think there was also a part where I told you something. However, it was expressed in such a way as to upset the judgment of those involved...? The people involved don't seem to be aware that they have suffered damage, but I misjudged and interfered with the achievement of the goals of those involved...?
There may also be other things that that person wasn't aware of but caused damage... I'm just sorry...
Seen from a third party, isn't there any crime in everyday trivial exchanges? I also thought about things like that, but isn't that just me trying to get away from my sins by interpreting them conveniently for myself? Am I really a criminal? I thought about it...
While wanting to apologize, searching for that person personally seems to be within an impossible range, and is it possible to identify them through legal procedures via lawyers or police stations? I wonder if it's like that...
How far should we go? Don't normal people think like this? Even if there are no legal crimes, I think there are crimes as human beings, and what should we do? I wonder if that's all I need to reflect on it and make use of it in the future...
Remembering this incident, I began to think about various things, and I didn't know what to do... I should atone for my sins, but after all, I should die fast, and I thought there was no way I could live by laughing with normal people... I may be a criminal, and I'm sorry for asking for salvation...

4 Zen Responses

He will save you

I read it.
I don't know the details of that, but I'm really worried that you've made a mistake. I don't know the details about you or what you said, but it really conveys your feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
As you said, it leads to various events from various environments, causes, and relationships in various situations. And from there, it comes up with various results. There are only things we can't fathom about that specific involvement. It's hard for us to imagine such relationships.
It wasn't until later that we learned little by little that it was connected in this way.
I think all of the things you are so anxious and worried about are things you didn't understand before.
If you are very sorry, please put your hands together sincerely to Buddha, God, and your ancestors and confess them one by one as you can think of. And if you regret it, please sincerely repent to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, and sincerely apologize to the Buddha, gods, ancestors, and those you have caused damage from the bottom of your heart.
And from now on, please swear sincerely to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors that they will proceed with good thoughts, words, and actions so as not to commit such mistakes.
The Buddha, God, and your ancestors all kindly accept your thoughts, accept you, and save you.
We unknowingly commit mistakes, but the Buddha, gods, and ancestors saved us and guided us.
I sincerely pray to the Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can move forward with good thoughts, words, and actions for the future and that you can be saved and live. We wholeheartedly agree
And I wholeheartedly support you.

Now is important

Thank you for your question.
Try not to think too much about the past.
Memories gradually disappear, and they also change.
The important thing is now.
I hope we don't do anything bad now.
When you think too much about the past, look right in front of you.
What can I see now?
Please take a look around.
Where are you right now?
That's because when you look closely in front of you, you stop remembering the past.

It responds to what is certain.

　Good evening. When you start thinking “maybe...” you probably feel that you are insecure, pathetic, and not even sure where you stand.
After accumulating various “maybe” things, it seems that they have come across a premonition that “maybe it's my fault,” but something just overlooked, and if that is the case, it may cause trouble.
Actually, I feel like this process applies to everyone. Of course our grandma too.
Therefore, we do our morning work and repent (repent) in the midst of it. “There may be sins I'm aware of, and others that I'm not. I now repent, including things I don't know so far.”
And if it's clear what I can deal with now, I'll do it. I will put aside the sins I didn't notice and the things I couldn't do anything about for now. At least I'll do what I can do now.
Maybe, if the timing is right, you might notice “that one of mine was bad.” At that time, the response will be decided.
Rather than going with that attitude, I'm wondering if there aren't any of us.
Think back and forth, and instead of dealing with dark clouds, deal with issues that have been firmly grasped. Once you notice your own inadequacy, you also accept living while holding it.
Focus on what you understand rather than dealing with things you don't understand. That attitude and practice may be an exercise so that when one day I become aware of “my own sin,” I can be frightened by it.
Remembering one day, I work on something I thought, “Maybe I can recover from that now.” Wouldn't that be fine?

Someone's hand, that step by step, supports everyone.

As we relate everything, it will turn into any development. If you think it might be a sin, it may lead to sin.

However, it is possible to think the opposite way of looking at it. How many people have been helped and smiled by your involvement?

Someone's hand, that step by step, supports everyone.

This one happened a few years ago. If it's not showing up right now, it's not a problem. I think being convinced of that is also an important way of thinking for living in the future.

Repentance is good too. But let's keep our heads up so we can feel excited about the path you've walked. It's important how you live.

You will continue to live with us.

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