I can't forgive my wife's rant against her children

Thank you for your consultation.
The father's deep anguish and warm compassion for the child are conveyed. Every day, I endure a sense of tension like a needle rather than a needle in a place where I should feel at home, and I'm guessing that it really hurts my heart.

In Buddhism, the background of anger and aggressive speech and behavior is thought to be a person's own “obsession” or “fear.” The wife is trapped by her own educational background, pride, or strong obsession and anxiety about “what should I do if my child fails,” and it can be said that she is in a state where she has lost control of her mind (swayed by worry).

Please refer to the following 3 points for advice.
(1) Become an “escape place (elimination of isolation)” for children
It became a bulwark to protect children from his wife's stormy words and said, “You've been working hard enough. Please embrace your whole personality by affirming your whole personality, saying, “Dad knows.”

(2) Share “how to receive words” with parents and children
Quietly tell your child that the wife's words and actions are not “right arguments,” and that lack of room in mind (like an illness) makes them say it. It is wise to teach the art of accepting things without taking them head-on.

(3) Consider third party intervention
When it is difficult to resolve issues between husband and wife, it may be an opportunity for the wife to return to herself by letting in outside air, such as a school counselor or specialized agency.

If there is a “understanding and tolerance” light from a father, a child's heart will surely be saved. Please take care of yourself and move forward.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

People listen to the opinions of those in authority.
Therefore, showing expert opinions and information from the Ministry of Health, Labor, and Welfare to the wife may lead to persuasiveness, such as cases where children's brains atrophy due to psychological abuse (rants).
Please search for “Operation Zero Whip of Love.”
sanokou2.pdf https://share.google/SG9oKVLPSn3Dyo8VN
We all have afflictions such as greed, anger, laziness, pride, etc.
My wife thinks about her children and herself on top of each other, so if your child gets embarrassing grades, she may feel ashamed too.
Everyone has it.
The same logic is that I would be happy if Japanese national sports players played an active part.
Everyone has such afflictions, so it's important to know that there are disadvantages to abusing (psychological abuse) as a specific technique, even though we value forgiving our wife (look of mercy) when it comes to each other.
After that, praise your child for any small thing, even something that can be taken for granted.
If you nurture your child's sense of self-affirmation (confidence that they can do it), it may lead to energy to stand up even if they fall.
Let's support each other as a family.

While I'm worried and exhausted from the current situation, I still wonder, “Is there anything I can do for my child?” Hagurin-san, who continues to search, is precious.

Perhaps there is a possibility that the wife's own expectations and fears, and the opposite of her love for “worrying too much about my beloved child,” are being harshly called out to the child.

Right now, one of the things Hagurin-san can do right away is “devoting myself to listening to children.” When puberty overlaps in middle school, I can't put my own feelings into words, and I often hold them alone. That's why the presence of the father, Mr. Hagurin, can be a “safe base” for children. How about father and son not daring to talk about studying? It's about talking about household topics such as poor everyday life, shared memories, hobbies, and club activities they are doing their best.
Please remember the Buddhist phrase “Tenjo Tenka Yuiga Dokuson,” and say, “Apart from grades and evaluations, there is value in your life itself.” Children can feel safe by feeling that “dad accepts their own existence, not their grades.” Also, please tell them, “I'll always listen to consultations.”

Please ensure an environment where Hagurin-san herself can let out her worries and relax her mind and body. Whether in order to protect the children or for a better relationship between the couple, Hagurin-san herself is exhausted, and it will not continue. Hasunoha also has online consultations.

If your wife is able to relax, can you discuss the couple's “rules”? For example, don't say words that deny a child's personality or words that take away hope for the future. In order to make meals a fun time, I don't talk about studying. Once a day, talk about the person himself doing his best. ... etc.

If it's hard for your wife to be bound by strong anxiety or worry, introducing this Hasunoha or counseling agency may be one of the improvement measures. It's also a good idea to introduce Hasunoha to children. Even if you don't register, you'll be greatly encouraged by reading the consultation and answers, saying “I wasn't alone.”

I wholeheartedly support the three members of the family so that they can live a warmer and more peaceful life with someone's help from each other. Please don't hesitate to use this Hasunoha in the future.

That's a tough word, isn't it? It's abusive (abusive) violence, isn't it?
They are unaware that it is hurting even the child's dignity. For children, words thrown at them by parents cause heartache and hurt. I'm worried.

They are also doing their best in their studies and club activities. I want to cheer them on. The evaluation that it hasn't been completed is also a parent standard. However, by focusing on what you have worked hard for, it will give children confidence, and I want to develop their motivation.

Follow up on your child in front of your wife. Rather than getting hurt, your father's encouragement supports your heart.
There are also many books about the trouble of scolding too much. If you're a smart wife, you can probably understand it even from books. My strong obsession with grades is also my love for children. So rather than getting emotional, why don't you invite them to child-rearing lectures etc. to become parents who can notice how their children are doing.

Also, please rely on “Children's Human Rights No. 110.” This is the Ministry of Justice consultation desk. Counseling is possible not only for children themselves, but also for adults such as parents.
Let's all protect and raise our precious children.