The obsessive idea that you have to be careful with people

I have a strong sense of justice.

In other words, they probably don't like crooked things.

I can't talk about people either.
I'm an immature person, so there are times when I just get frustrated.

That's funny, isn't it?
It's a boy's habit.

I like visiting shrines and temples.
Rather than liking it, it's an act for me.

I pray at a fixed shrine or temple every month.

Recently, the number of worshipers has also increased.

I just say thank you for last month and greetings for this month, but some people ask for a long time.

Even though there is a line at the back, it's not easy to finish.

At that time,

“I wish we could compromise a little more”

It just makes me feel so frustrated.

At one point, I went to receive sacred water to be offered to the gods and Buddhas.

I thought there were no people around, but when I tried to go back, there were people waiting for me.

I'm in a hurry

“Sorry to keep you waiting”

I bowed my head.

Then,

“There might be people waiting, so why don't you take a look around and hand it over once?”

I was scolded.

At that point, I was taken aback.

Even though I was angry at the worshipers' lengthy requests, I couldn't see my surroundings myself.

After all, people only look at things with their own values.

A sense of justice is also important.

But is that justice really absolute?

Your partner may also have the other person's circumstances and thoughts.

What I've learned

“Take a step back and look at yourself before trying to change your partner”

That was it.

It can be infuriating when you look at it from up close, and it may look different when you look at it from a little distance.

Please don't blame yourself too much.

Being frustrated is also proof that you are living seriously.

They turn the brunt of that frustration not into their opponent, but into material to look at themselves.

I think that is also an ascetic practice.

We have received your consultation, Kana.

Beware of people with bad manners; they actually take mounts.

It's a common thing.
Kana is just being honest.
There are quite a few people who drag on for years.

There are a lot of projects that I am also dragging on.
Oh, I wish I hadn't said that at that time.

There are lots of them.

Thank you very much for speaking for me.

But it's now a troublesome world, isn't it?

If you're careful in public, it's dangerous to see why they come back, and you'll be scolded in reverse.

To be honest, I don't think this obsessive idea of wanting to be careful about this person can be suppressed.

I have that too, but I've given up.

However, there is one thing I have decided.
If you are hurting or hurting another person because of what that person is doing,
Let's call the police.

Also, if someone falls down or is crouching by the roadside or platform, they will call out.
If you don't get up, call the police again.

Other than police cases, there are cases where this can be done in this day and age.

So I think it's best to spend time with one eye closed.

I'm trying to calm my mind a little bit, take a bird's-eye view, and take a look.

I hope it helps Kana 🙏

Thank you very much for your consultation. The fact that you are looking at your own inner world without being misled is in itself an expression of “wisdom (wisdom),” which is very precious.

In Buddhism, there is a teaching called “middle way (chudo).” It's a supple way of mind without being extremely biased between white and black. The “yardstick of justice” you hold onto is absolute for you, but others have a different scale engraved on it. When you try to force it to be applied, justice becomes a blade that judges your opponent, and as a result, you make yourself and others suffer.

The way to suppress impulses is to let go of someone else's behavior as “that person's own work (karma = issue).” There is no need for you to shoulder the World Discipline Commission. Let's gently put our hands together in our hearts and pull back our hypersensitive self, saying, “This person is in the process of learning like that right now, isn't it?”

Also, in order not to drag your memory down, why not be aware of Zen's “back and forth (zengosaidan)”. The past is an “illusion” that no longer has any substance. When you've been dragging on for a few years, you're fighting against illusions created by your own memories, not against opponents from your past, and you're draining your precious current life. When I notice, “Oh, I'm dealing with a phantom again,” I take a quick breath and let go.

Rather than clutching on correctness, the warmth of “like each other” with a slight gap. May that solid power of self-analysis open up into mercy to forgive yourself.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Whether it's better to be careful or not to be careful is on a case-by-case basis, right?
In my case, I try to be careful about things that are life-threatening.
If someone I know is trying to drive a car even though they are drinking alcohol, they stop it.
I was careful to put out the incense sticks and candles when the memorial service is over.
I warned the elderly to be careful of heat shock and mochi in the winter.
Why don't you judge your life by whether it's life-threatening or not?
If you pay attention to everything you see, the day will end just by being careful.

I read it.
It makes you want to be careful about people, doesn't it? And after that, you really regret it. I don't know the details of your relationships with you or the people around you, but I feel like I can somehow understand your feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
Well, maybe there is a desire for self-expression in your heart, and the desire to have an advantage over others overflows. So maybe you just want to say it, and maybe you get frustrated if you don't say it.
Maybe that's how you can keep yourself safe, right?
How about it?
Nonetheless, such thoughts are like a mirage and disappear easily. So if you don't say the same thing again, you may become uneasy.
So I'm not caught up in that kind of thinking. Even if you don't say it, it's not something that bothers you because you are you.
Conversely, if you get caught up only by such things, you will lose sight of who you really are. It will also destroy your own personality and relationships with those around you.
Calling attention is necessary in the event of a life-threatening emergency. But other than that, if you say this or that, when it's really necessary, no one will believe you, and it doesn't make any sense at all.
How do you feel when you think so? I think you've hurt yourself by saying unnecessary things, or broken your relationship of trust.
I sincerely pray that you and each other will be able to respect, be compassionate, and live a healthy life in the future. We wholeheartedly agree

I'm worried about people with bad manners. It's also important to be careful to let them know. However, if you get into trouble, it's because it hasn't been properly conveyed to the other party. Also, it makes me realize that it was excessive caution that made the other person cry.

A sense of justice is an emotion or belief that tries to stick to what is right. If your correctness doesn't arrive in a one-way street, your opponent won't be able to trust you and will show resistance.

If your standards become too absolute, you may impose them without considering the other person's circumstances. Even people with bad manners don't notice that they are causing trouble if they're unaware. I'm going to tell you something important, so why don't you calmly and gently convey your hopes so that no horns stand up?
Avoiding trouble is also a necessary ability for people who act self-centered. Let's acquire the ability to pass through.

If you have an obsessive idea that you have to do it, let's prioritize keeping your own mind calm while devising ways to communicate.