hasunoha

About raising children in this society

I have 5 and 2 year old toddlers. It's been about 2 months since I recently returned to work, and during those 2 months, my children caught colds frequently and I was often absent from work. There is a thing, but it's hard to work while continuing to apologize. My friends are all struggling with work and childcare while having the same painful feelings. Compared to the past, I feel that it has become a society where people understand and accept this kind of child-rearing environment.
However, there are also bosses and colleagues who still don't understand and say heartless words.
Why do parents who are raising children have to be so narrow-minded? I feel that the number of families that cannot afford it financially or mentally is increasing, and the number of children who feel lonely is increasing.
In such a society, it is understandable that no matter how much money is supported, the number of children does not increase.

On top of that, please.
Please tell me how to feel in order to raise strong and honorable children even in such a society. With those words in my heart, I would like to continue to do my best without running away from hardships.
I look forward to working with you.

5 Zen Responses

Words you don't understand are an expression of the person's own poverty and lack of room

Thank you so much for your hard work during the two months after returning to work while holding small children. I have repeatedly apologized, and I deeply sympathize with the pain of those of you who feel narrow-shouldered.

No matter how much social systems are in place and the environment has improved since the past, the “human heart” will not change overnight. Alas, humans are the cutest creatures, and the hustle and bustle of modern society has taken away “room for heart” from people to be considerate of others. Heartless words without understanding are nothing more than an expression of the person's own poverty and lack of room. Therefore, there is absolutely no need for you to be worn down by such words and actions, and you don't have to blame yourself at all.

In Buddhism, there is no practice more precious and greater than caring for and nurturing one life. The activity of raising children is not just a domestic role; it is a supreme “precious mission” that nurtures light that illuminates future society. You are now successfully carrying out the most important and labor-intensive business in the world.

Please don't be humble around. Please have strong pride and confidence in your own steps, saying, “I am now proudly fulfilling my most precious mission in the world.” It is this dignified feeling that strongly and warmly envelops children's hearts. I sincerely hope that your future, as you look forward without running away from hardships, will be filled with light.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Children will be alive 80 years from now

The people who are complaining about something are only thinking about the present.
Children are the ones who will live 80 years from now.
No matter how much overtime you or your boss works, it's probably enough to increase your working hours for a year.
Children will be working for 40 years or more in the future, so it's incomparable.
Everyone was poor until the Showa era, so even if they were poor, they gave birth to children.
Right now, there are only adults who have experienced a certain standard of living as children, so it's unavoidable that they don't want to lower their standard of living.
If it were Japanese people or half, the amount of territory per person would double.
In the Warring States period, territories were taken at risk of life.
I don't think it's all about disadvantages.

Seek immediate improvements and apologies

I read it.
It really conveys your painful feelings. I would like to accept your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
Yes, it's very common for children to get sick or get injured. And parents must take their child to the hospital in a hurry to be treated. It's unavoidable.
You have a natural right to put your child first. If children are not prioritized, children will not grow up, and society will not be formed.

I think it's illegal for your boss or co-workers to make heartless remarks against you.
Promptly ask for an apology for such remarks, and at the same time report it to the HR department or compliance department to ask for an appropriate response. And let's ask them to improve such incomprehension company-wide.
Again, unintelligible insults by bosses and colleagues are illegal acts, bad words, misdeeds. Let's ask them to quickly repeat it and apologize.
If you try to do something that the company didn't agree with, the company's responsibility will be questioned.
Let's do human rights consultations and labor consultations as soon as possible.
https://www.no-harassment.mhlw.go.jp/inquiry-counter/
https://www.moj.go.jp/JINKEN/index_soudan.html

I sincerely pray that the company and people around you will have a firm understanding and cooperation with child-rearing, that you can raise your children with peace of mind, that you can concentrate on your work with peace of mind, that your children will be protected by everyone and that they will grow healthily, and that it will become a society and world where you can raise children with peace of mind.
And I will continue to work to become like that. We wholeheartedly agree

I need it because of you. Aim to raise children with a sense of thanks and peace of mind

No matter what, the social background of the era where women were expected as “nurturing care personnel” for childcare/nursing remains. Under such circumstances, being criticized and forced into a position where it is difficult to stay rather than being taken into consideration at work pushes workers into a position where it is difficult to stay, and it is also a huge loss for the company and society.

The poor physical condition of children and families also has an impact on the workplace, and that is a matter of both of us. It's not a nuisance that people grow when they complement and support each other, right?

Rather than apologizing, I want to cherish each person so that it becomes a system or society where people can say “thank you for your support” and “leave it to me.”

A society where we have to say that we will raise strong and honorable children is tough. Because it's you, I need it. Let's aim to raise children with a sense of thanks and peace of mind. Children are a treasure. You are nurturing that treasure. It's precious.

Thank you for your hard work. And thank you for being a mother.