I hate my father

Personalities are really different between parents and children, and siblings, aren't they?

I wonder why they have such a different way of thinking even though they grew up in a similar environment.

I myself have thought so many times.

I understand your feelings very well.

“Don't cry”
“Don't lose”
“Go back”

Even if you say that.

Sometimes what you want in difficult times isn't the kind of word you want.

I'm sure you

I wanted them to be kind.
I wanted comfort.
I wanted them to gently snuggle up to my sad feelings.

That feeling comes through very well.

Dad probably had his own way of thinking.

be strong.
don't lose.
don't cry.

Maybe they believed that was the right way to live.

However, there is also a saying “lose but win” in the world.

You don't always have to go there.

I don't know which way to live is wiser.

But there's only one thing I understand.

You have become a person who understands people's feelings.

I became a person who can imagine human pain.

When people have a hard time,
when you're sad,
I learned the importance of snuggling softly.

Your father may have been strong.

But were we able to shed tears together when people were having a hard time?

You, on the other hand, use your father as your teacher

“I want to be like this”

I think I've learned that.

I think that is also a growth.

That being said,

“Thank your father”

I don't mean to say that.

There's no need to force yourself to forgive.

It's just,

“My life has deteriorated because of my father”

Not only that way of looking at it,

“Nevertheless, I have become a person who can understand people's pain.”

Why don't you acknowledge your own growth?

You've had a difficult experience.

But I learned kindness from that experience.

It's no small thing.

Rather than continuing to hold grudges,

I will pass on the kindness I gained from that experience to the people I meet in the future.

I think that's a much more like your way of life.

I read it.
You grew up being told that by your father, and you really wanted your father to raise you kindly. That's why you can't help but hate your father like that. I don't know the details about you or your father, but it really conveys your feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

The situation is different, but there were times when I really hated my father and mother. I thought when I was a kid and when I was young that they didn't raise me more kindly, or why didn't they raise me more kindly? If that were the case, I had grown up more properly, and I was able to live a better life. Or maybe it's not too late now, so I wanted them to raise them that way.
However, it was a life that didn't come true at all, and I think it was a dream. My father and mother have already passed away, and it's impossible to expect that.

Parents have their parents' way of life, way of thinking, and outlook on life, which is different from their own.
If that's the case, on the other hand, I think it's possible that I would like to live this way with my parents as teachers, and I think there are times when I decide that I will do it this way.
That's because my parents' way of life and my life are completely different from my own.

I sincerely pray that you can live the life you aim for in your own way, and that you can be compassionate and help each other with the people around you and live a truly safe and happy life. We wholeheartedly agree

We are happy to discuss it.

You still hate your father, don't you?
I wanted my father to comfort me when my friends made me cry.

They said, “Go back,” “crying is cowardly,” “I cry because I feel sorry for myself,” etc.

Was your father a typical husband, born in the Showa era?

Dad said he made an effort using this method and lived a life where he had excellent grades and never lost to anyone else.

My late father was a similar type of father.

There were times when I really hated my confidence, fighting, keeping my distance, and my father's words didn't come through.

Looking back now, I have something to think about. I hope you find it helpful.

It's not that Dad doesn't understand people's feelings; he's too clumsy in his way of communicating.

Dad said he never lost to anyone else.

Perhaps it was because he didn't show people his hardships, so maybe he didn't understand Mr. Bokko.

I wanted Touko-san to gently snuggle up to my feelings. I wanted them to gently snuggle up to my sorrow.
But Dad just doesn't know how to snuggle.

Your father may also feel quite a dilemma in his heart because you probably can't communicate.

I wonder why I don't get along well with my son.

Also, Mr. Zukou is already in his 30s.

Self-confidence has nothing to do with birth or upbringing.

It's something you build yourself.

If your father blames you even for your own beliefs, your father won't come to mind.

That is someone else's responsibility.

My parents don't have anything to do with my responsibilities anymore.

On the contrary, they are spoiled by their father.

It's about cutting that indulgence from the root.
It's about breaking unnecessary obsessions.

It's fine physically, anyway, take your father out of you

You can stand on your own feet.

When you can become mentally and financially independent, and Mr. Buck becomes a parent of a person,

Maybe there will come a time when I can understand my father's feelings a little bit now, or I can forgive him a little bit.

Please don't forget that you are close to your father.

Please re-recognize once again that the cause is not your father's, but your own, and establish your own life as soon as possible.

That must have been painful. My father's theory of education was imposed on me, and I didn't even notice that you were being cornered because of that, and even when you cried, you spit out that you were cowardly. How abusive were those words that were rejected. My parents say this to me, and it's bound to make me cry because it's so painful and sad.

Your actions, choices, and existence have continued to be denied, haven't you? In that case, even when building relationships with other people, I think they were afraid of conveying their own feelings and opinions, such as asking about their complexion. I think they still have anxiety and difficulties in building relationships.

The existence of parents when I was a child was absolute and I had no choice but to endure it. When I think I've spent such a lonely time, I'm filled with an unforgivable feeling that even the fact that it has had a big impact on the present. You hate it, don't you? Parents are something you can't choose... if you're not this kind of parent, you'll lament the past where you've never been able to do anything.

What's difficult right now? The influence that parents have is also huge. However, there are also people who are involved with you and give you a warm hand in the life you are about to walk through. So is this place.

Why don't you reach out to the sure kindness directed at you? A life that hasn't been destroyed is right in front of you.

Maybe he's a dad who is being appreciated from the outside, but let's value relationships with people who think of us more than that.