Please tell us how you feel about spending every day.

How much anxiety and sadness do you have in an extreme state, both mentally and physically, shortly after delivery? It's natural to be perplexed by sudden events.

In Buddhism, there is a teaching called “impermanent behavior (shogyomujo).” It is a truth that everything in this world changes constantly and will never stay the same. If it's true that they were so close that they called every day six months ago, then the fact that your husband now has lost time and is taking an escape act called taking a walk at night is just a temporary state in the midst of change.

Rather than saying that he deeply hates you, your husband's words can be seen as “SOS where his own mental apparatus has reached its limit and is swallowed up by a storm of emotions” due to changes in the work and home environment. Legally, it is not a situation where a one-sided divorce will pass right away, so it is wise to first divide “this is a time when a ferocious storm is blowing” and wait patiently for it to pass.

The first step to let go of the waves with a relaxed feeling is “to let go of your obsession with the two of you in the past for a while.” Your strong feelings about the past, “even though you were so lovey-dovey,” fell short of your current aloofness, and are deeply hurting yourself. Right now, try watching the river's turbidity from the shore a little further away, saying, “He's also suffering in the waves of his own heart right now.”

And don't ever blame yourself. The fact that you couldn't afford it and couldn't be kind is proof that you were desperately protecting your life as a mother. Now I'm spoiled by my parents-in-law's reassuring allies, and evacuating at dinner is a great “way to get through the storm” to protect yourself.

First, rest your mind and body, and make regaining calm breathing a top priority. If you stand firm without being impatient and your tolerant attitude is conveyed little by little, your husband's waves of heart will eventually calm down, and a peaceful life will return again.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo Law

In the first place, when they get divorced, there is no need for the mother to take in the child.
If it is the husband who says he wants to get divorced, it makes sense to say that the husband will take care of raising the children, and the husband wants to be free alone is a stupid statement that seems like a screw is loose in his head.
So, if you want to get divorced, your husband will take in your children, and you will have a visitation with child support, ask your husband if that's OK.
However, I'm also concerned about my husband's meaning of “I want to be free.”
If you are excessively restraining your husband, have a strong obsession with housework and childcare, and have a sense of morality towards your husband (critical of your husband's failure), it may be better to let go of your own obsessions a little bit and allow them to live a laid-back family life.
Obsessions cause trouble, suffering, and stress, so let's discard obsessions and think that if you can protect your child's food, clothing, and shelter, you don't want more than that.

That is reassuring, isn't it? As a father, I also leave childcare alone and wonder what they are doing. That's probably putting a burden on you.

However, his own pressure may be on him, and there are cases where men become “depressed after childbirth.” From the words “I want to be free,” and from the act of going out drinking, I also feel that they are maintaining their feelings in search of escapism.

Of course, the burden of balancing childbirth, childcare, and work is greater on the wife. Therefore, it is natural that the number of things you look for in your husband as a father has increased.
However, for my husband, in order to predict, accept, and move on with this reality, the speed is probably too fast, and he is probably unable to keep up. It also feels like postpartum depression.

I don't like you. You're stressed. But I think it's a feeling to be “tired” from this situation.

There seems to be understanding and support from my parents-in-law, so can we keep watching the situation as it is? Why don't you ask your husband to put himself in a free environment where you can rest while living with your parents or, conversely, being separated as a couple, and think calmly about whether you really want a divorce and lose your family, or if you just want freedom?

You, too, should focus on the balance between childcare and rest rather than a lifestyle that cares about your husband.

I read it.
I see... you're worried about how to think about your husband and raise children. I don't know the details about you, your husband, your children, or your parents, but I feel like I understand that you are very worried. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
It's a place where I don't really understand what my husband thinks about my children, what my husband wants to do, etc... after all, children grow up, and you both have to live and raise your children...
I'm not going to draw a conclusion right now, but I think it's very necessary for everyone to have a thorough discussion about how to raise children.
I don't understand my husband's desire to go out drinking, but that's probably after two after three, and I think the growth of children is still a priority. I think everyone is like that too.

That's because I think the idea that your husband wants to set you free because he's stressed is very selfish.

Please don't hold back in your heart and express your thoughts here as well. And please ease your mind even a little bit. We look forward to welcoming you.

Even though she had a planned pregnancy, she wanted to get divorced from her husband when she passed away for the second time.

Actually, a drastic mental change on the husband's side while his wife is on his way is not an unusual story, is it?

One is a pattern created by someone else I like.
Or a desire to escape reality because I feel like my life has been cursed.
Wait, I can think about it.

Do you have any memories of putting that much stress on your husband?

There is a saying I couldn't be kind,
so much so that they hate you all of a sudden?

Something must have happened six months ago.
Please try to remember that.

Don't you think I've said a word I shouldn't have said?

I think about it every time, but if you let them get pregnant and break up because you don't feel well, it's not a child.

I know you want to go to a casual drinking party, but that's probably different now.

However, it is a current situation where it is unavoidable to ask about it now, so what we need to do now is take sides.

Maybe it was good that my mother-in-law, who was complaining, acted as an adviser.

Why don't you rely on your parents-in-law for childcare?
As it is now, I don't think my husband will help.

“Let me set it free for once, then let it go. Do what you do when it comes to housework, and spend the rest of your time normally. My mother-in-law helps with childcare.”

I think that's fine.

However, there are problems here too, and while the physical connection with my parents' house is strong
My parents are strong, and when I get married, my wife is strong.

If that's the case, my husband won't have a place to escape.

Right now, just leave my husband alone.
If you want to run away that much, you can let them do whatever they want.
Meanwhile, I should have my mother-in-law on my side for a long time.

My husband is taking a walk because he can't sleep, so she may have been contacted by her affair partner.

I think it would be a good idea to run away to Yoshizane's house every day for dinner.

First, I think I should keep a distance from my husband until i`me's physical condition and childcare environment settle down.

Once my husband calms down, I wonder if there will be any action.

Lines, recording conversations, and evidence are important in case they say they really want to get divorced.

You can also save evidence by emailing your correspondence with your mother-in-law.

As much as possible, let's work out countermeasures now so that it's okay no matter what kind of situation we fall into.

I know it's hard, but kids are on our side too.

Also, if there is any progress, please contact Hasunoha.

Let's all think about countermeasures.