About the kaima

My mother passed away yesterday (I was the mourner)
I was given a kakana, but the chief priest of the parish family said that there was a difference with my late father's kaima and was promoted by my older sister, but I was worried about the cost (no offerings were posted at that time), so I asked that she be a devotee. However, later I was reminded of the chief priest's speech and expression at that time, and I've always been curious. I also regret that I should have taken the plunge and asked about the amount. Is it insane to ask your older sister to make changes now? If I were to change it, I wonder if it was now before the cards were made. There are so many differences in the commandments that it makes me think a lot about what to do if I don't see my father in the other world. I lived away from my mother, so I'd like to take her to my house, so I'd like to ask for soul removal from the Buddhist altar at my parents' house during the memorial service on the 49th (the Buddhist altar is so big that I can't fit in my house), but to be honest, the chief priest feels a bit difficult to talk to, and it takes courage to talk. For example, even if I change my commandment name, I feel like my relatives and others won't notice. (My mother was old, so I didn't have many relationships with my relatives.)

4 Zen Responses

If you need a consultation, do it as soon as possible

Haven't they finished their wake yet?
If you are going to discuss the change of the commandment name, I think it is better to do it as soon as possible.
Let's leave the rest up to the chief priest's judgment.
There is a possibility that the chief priest has already written a whiteboard, so the chief priest may need to procure a replacement plate from a funeral director.
appending
It may not be impossible to change your surname even when the funeral is over.
It depends on what the chief priest thinks.
Well, in the first place, kaimyo is not something you buy with money; it is determined by the person's training and achievements.
Depending on how you think about it, the chief priest who changes his kyo name with money can also be said to be kind.
I think it's okay to order it from a bad source.
In the Jodo sect, people who have undergone a 5-day ascetic practice called Quintessōden have a different commandment from those who haven't.
However, when a bereaved family member receives a quintuplet, the kishime name of a person who has already passed away who has not received a quintuplets may also rank up in the same way as those who have received quintuplets.
Therefore, it does not mean that there is absolutely no such thing as changing the commandment name later.

Don't worry if you don't get it all right

It is a recent trend for husband and wife to share the rank titles of the kajime, such as Shinji, Nobunna, and Koji/Big Sister, but that hasn't been the case for a long time.
The story that it is better to arrange them probably comes from relatively recently, when the couple's commandment names began to be written under joint names on one table. It's also just a matter of appearance. There is absolutely no such thing as not being able to meet in the other world or running out of memorial services just because the rank is different.
Even if I look at the past books I have, I can find a number of cases where the husband and wife have different rank names.
There's no need to worry.

I would like to express my condolences.
You can change the kakana (dharma name) after the funeral. I called the chief priest and said, “After all, I want to be the older sister, right?” “Do additional offerings need to be added?” Please feel free to ask anything. Depending on the temple, I think there are cases where the Nobujo is simply changed to the older sister, and there are cases where 2 more characters are added after changing from Nobujo to the older sister.
Also, nobujo etc. are called rank titles, and there is no such thing as not being able to meet a married couple even if they have different titles. Please don't worry.
Also, please feel free to ask the chief priest about dispatching Buddhist altars (soul removal).
As a monk, being consulted about Buddhist rituals by parishioners, believers, or the general public is a happy opportunity to enforce the law.
May your mother be at peace. We clap hands.

Originally, there is no difference between Buddha's salvation.

I would like to express my sincere condolences on the passing of my mother.
If you were told that there was a difference, you'd be curious. Amidst the grief of losing your mother, you're worried about how to hear about the kaimyo.

I wonder what the difference is. I think it's the balance when arranged as a married couple, and it probably means according to the father... originally, there is no difference in Buddha's salvation. They value every life. Mom, please stay at ease.

Please don't hesitate to ask so you don't regret it.

Gassho

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