How do you become nothing in relation to your opponent?

I think all of you are in an unavoidable situation right now.

Put up with it,
In the form of wishing you could become nothing against your opponent
If you accept the situation itself

I think it will eventually become uncontrollable.

Maybe your husband is everyone's
Maybe you know the situation
I don't think I understand.

Maybe
If you are fulfilling your responsibilities by taking care of children on the weekend
They probably think that.

Over and over again, it's like money to my husband
It is said that they are consulting
I think it will continue to be overheard in the future.

So,
Why don't you try changing what you talk about?
Let's ask your husband what he's thinking.

eg
Why don't we live together?
What do you think of all of you?
Is there something you're looking for?
What do you think of your current marital life?
What do you think about children?
What are you planning to do with your family in the future?

I think it's difficult
Let's listen to it once without demanding or blaming.

Also, ask yourself questions.
What kind of relationship do you want to have with your husband

Everyone is a father and son family themselves, and they also have children
I think there are a lot of things to think about
Let's deal with the causes of irritability.
And please take care of yourself.

　It's a problem I can't do anything about. It's not a matter of recklessness. Isn't he who only thinks of you as his mistress? Excuse me, but please talk to all the agencies you can rely on. Government agencies, social welfare councils, and NPO corporations related to mother and child families.
Incidentally, such a form of separation is legal if both parties are satisfied, but it is somewhat of DV neglect. I don't think I'll be able to make enough time to consult with the agency. This is also because he is intentionally driving you financially. It might be a tough battle. Let's go beyond patience and sorry, let go of shame, and rely on any person with a feeling of relief. It's not a problem you can solve alone. It may seem light at first, but let's show off a sense of urgency and really rely on it.

I also grew up in a divorced family with a single parent, so I understand your feeling that you don't want your kids to feel the same way.

Is “I don't want to pay” the only reason you can't live with your husband?
Is there no other reason?
You're properly registered, aren't you? As for your child, are you also properly enrolled as a wife since then? I'm sorry to hear that's rude.
I think it's a big deal not to pay for a wife who has children of her own.
Does your husband's family know about it?

The only thing I'm worried about is that the person I was in a relationship with before my husband was DV, and now, my husband is almost in a situation where he is neglected when viewed from the eyes of a third party.
This is just my guess, so maybe it's completely different. Please forgive me if I'm wrong.
... Maybe when you talk to your husband, you're not speaking in a pretty logical direction? Even if you think you're saying something that's natural for yourself, when the other person says something, they just say “such a thing”... isn't that the case? Have you ever made a statement before getting married that you agree with the current situation, such as “I'll do something about the money myself” from yourself? If even just a little bit comes to mind, I think it's a good idea to first listen to what the other person is saying, understand their feelings, and then devise ways to communicate your own demands to them.
I'm really sorry if I didn't think of it at all. Please forgive me for my misunderstanding.

However, no matter how you think about it, I think the structure of a husband who separates his wife and children without any special reason and lives at his parents' house without assistance with living expenses is abnormal.

Once your child grows up in such a state and is able to remember, your child may wonder about the situation and begin to blame your husband or you.
It might not be a good situation for kids either. Divorce may also be unavoidable. It's also painful for children to know that their mother spent their days putting up with it for themselves.
Besides, raising children still costs money.
(On the other hand, I think mother and child families can receive social protection.)

I think it would be best if you could consult with the welfare department at the city hall or ward office, or have a trusted third party join and create an opportunity for everyone to discuss it so that they can live with their husbands, including each parent.

People who are almost human put themselves first and try to stay in a safe zone.
The safe zone for him is probably his parents' house.
You probably haven't really talked to your parents either.
It's not a normal sensibility if I just ask your questions.
Isn't there something you're hiding here too?
Even if it's his parents, if their son had children or grandchildren, they should be able to handle it in a reasonable way.
(Were you also opposed by your parents for some reason?)
Either way, the fact that you are convenient for him and that he keeps you in a convenient state is discrimination against women, human rights issues, abandonment of responsibility, moral harassment, and hidden DV.
Once you have been naturalized, you are responsible. (Did you properly report and greet your parents about your naturalization and childbirth?)
That's a bad guess, but I think he's afraid of getting to know without telling his parents? Are you sure you're taking them back to your parents' house? Or does he have a prior history? (Do you know everything about him?)
In any case, it's not a normal sensibility, is it? (-” -) I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you.
conclusions
You should firmly assert your rights
He gets angry when he asserts his rights, and when he changes drastically, that is his true nature. First, let's watch what this guy says until the end.
If he gets angry, there's a reason → he pretends to be a “good person” with his parents. Are you afraid it will break?
You should pursue why you're running away
... The real problem is that you probably have something to do to be strong for your kids in the future.
I have to make my husband aware that he is a father in preparation for losing it someday → because he's running away
Lack of communication men are weak when blamed
he's in good enough shape just because he only comes on Saturdays and Sundays, don't be fooled by his rhetoric
What should be asked should be questioned
The guy who doesn't seem to like every responsibility should make him aware as an adult that he takes responsibility
If there is progress, please ask again, I pray for safety, sorry for being dry ('・ω・`)

Nice to meet you.
I was reading the question and became sad.

I'm sorry, but it looks like your husband hasn't fully become a father yet.

If the child is one year old, the parents are also first graders.
It is only because we have a family connection that we can grow up the same age as our children.

I feel that the priorities of what I value when thinking about my family are too different between my husband and my husband at present.

It has to be zero. These options aren't the only correct answers.
I wonder what my husband's parents think.

Since it's an online exchange, I'm not able to do anything specific just by listening to my painful feelings, but I'm thinking that the emotional burden on everyone and children will be lightened.