Is it wrong to think only about yourself regardless of anyone else?

　Hello. I read the question halfway through, and I thought, “Oh, I think about my little sister and my husband “only about myself,” but once again, “is that a mistake?” How is that?” I was thinking about something like that, but how about I want to get away from that kind of restraint myself (= only think about myself)? That's the question, isn't it?
The Ise-Shima summit just started today. Since the Edo period, “visit Ise once in a lifetime,” and it has been an extremely popular tourist destination. Anyway, it's surprising that “1 in 6 people” prayed every year during the peak season.
Now, when I think, “Well, people in the Edo period were that religious”... that's not it. It seemed like they were doing a lot of sightseeing and gourmet food... in other words, it was refreshing. They say “I'm going to pray and pray for everyone's safety” to people around them, and although they actually do it for a while, it seems like it was actually refreshing...
I actually went abroad alone for a week at the end of last year. I also studied English, etc., but I think it was actually refreshing. However, I think I've definitely gained a larger field of view.
So, of course, people around me would be against it, but I recommend a refreshing trip. It's OK to say things like “I'm going to be devastated and crazy at this rate.” Instead, I don't regret it even if my parents die in the meantime. I cut off that much trouble, and when I came back, I worked in the same way again. A lot of things will accumulate again, so then I'll go again. And then I'll come back.
The fact that “maybe religion” is written means “a cause.” It's a different method from using it here for the purpose of hasunoha, but I think this is also Japanese wisdom.

Your environment and situation were really difficult and severe, and I don't think there will be any major changes in such an environment in the future. Surprisingly, it feels like walking on a parallel bar. There is no one who understands neither my parents' house nor my wedding family. It's just my mom, I feel like that. My little sister, who didn't attend the wedding, did her best while having a lot of thoughts due to the earthquake, but I wonder what kind of treatment it was. Thank you so much for being indebted to you by people who are pretty insane when viewed from the general public! Do you think they'd appreciate it? I don't think this is possible from these people. You can't help but expect snow to fall in the desert. There is no such thing as not accepting requests. You should be thorough. You can't change people's feelings, but you can change how you feel. I don't need to thank you because everything I do and do my work and work is for myself, for my own sake, exercise, experience, and for myself. Can't you change your mind like that? Master Sato says it's important to be refreshed, but when I'm the only one struggling, I think it's also important to release my own feelings of being tied up and unable to move. That's because the heart that thinks I'm the only one is also obsessive. If you take care of your own feelings and let go of that kind of chatter, it will become much lighter. When I get tired, I take a walk with Chihuahua Daikichi, the deputy chief priest. It's refreshing. First, let's take a change of pace. I wish you happiness. Jōkō-ji

Tomoko
Hi
What are Tomoko's feelings appearing here
I'm sure it's just the tip of the iceberg...
I had a strong feeling that I couldn't write it all down.

I'm sure young people like me don't even understand
You've been through hard work, effort, and patience.

but still
“What is correct?”
Since it's written in the last sentence
That's all I want to tell you about myself.

What does Tomoko herself want to do?
For consultation
“Everyone is moving because they think it's fun”
“My mom always looks forward to my return, so I only go home twice a year”
“Just let everyone do well”
This is all “for someone,” right

So much so that I can really respect you from the bottom of
Every sentence is “for someone”

and the result
“Something inside me has collapsed”

That's going to happen...

I'm trying my best, and I'm thinking for everyone, but why!?
It's going to be...

...

But for me
I think that's “normal” after all.

Because from the bottom of her heart, Tomoko herself
It's not something I want to do.

What is a contribution to others based on the heart of self-sacrifice
My self-love is so deep
I think this is the first time it has been established.

Everyone can't try that hard.

That's why I do what I love.

But I'm sure they've been trying too hard for over 10 years
Just because I read this right now
“I want to do this!” Is
You might not be able to find it.

But that's why Tomoko is like that
Even if it's a little bath time
Even when it's time to wash
A little time is fine
“What did I myself want to do??”
I want you to think about it.

That's all of the problems
I think it will be an energy that strengthens the foundation.

A young person is presumptuously writing
Something, even a little bit
I hope it will be an opportunity for change.

Tomoko's life is even a little
I hope it gets better ^^

If I had time again
YouTube for “Date Ryuho” too
Please take a look ^^
I'm talking about a lot of life hints ^^
http://bit.ly/1JXVj41
(↑ You can also move to YouTube from here)

Living in an evacuation was difficult, wasn't it?
Since there are so many people, the difficulty is immeasurable, but it's also amazing that they didn't carry even a single chopstick.

As you can see from the techniques and sentences, I had a reliable feeling that my head rotates well and I can move quickly.
Mother-in-law, mother-in-law, daughter, husband, real mother, real sister... team tomoko.
Among them, the captain is too good to do. That is Tomoko.
If I were to compare it, would it be like this?

Even though I'm working hard every day as a representative of Team Tomoko, the other members seem to be skipping out.
The cohesion isn't good either.
Even though the other members of the club think “the captain will do something about it,” they are still dependable when they have problems, so they can't be relied upon.
Well, this is going to be stressful for the captain (-_-;)

＞＞I only think about myself regardless of anyone
That means abandoning the captain, right?
Well, if you don't go that far, I think there are some things that won't be conveyed to everyone.

though

＞＞I'm just breaking everyone's heart so that things go well
That's why you can also see feelings that aren't so compartmentalized.

＞＞Are you overdoing it as your husband says?
However, the captain's role isn't all about doing it yourself.
Even if the policy that Team Tomoko aims for is “for everyone to do well,” what each individual is looking for may be different. My sister, mother, and husband are probably each looking for something different.
It seems that the captain's role is to listen carefully and respect it, and follow the same policy they are aiming for as a whole. this is difficult, isn't it!

But if everyone in the family “works well” with that in mind, might it be worthwhile?
If you've been doing everything yourself until now, it might be okay to change the policy of instructing them to do it from now on (although they may not be able to do it right away from the beginning)

The answer to what is correct remains vague after all, but I hope it will be helpful.
Please don't accumulate too much stress (^^;)

Tomoko

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

There are also places where Kansai people are affectionate (of course, I can't say it unequivocally...), so I can imagine Tomoko being kind of carefree...

I can also understand the various hardships of marriage and the frustration of not being understood.

If possible, as you said, I would like to spend my time thinking only about myself regardless of who I am, but in our world, we cannot live alone, and we are beings that can be kept alive only by supporting, helping, and sharing with each other in various ways.

However, no matter how much you say “mercy is not for people,” there are places where even if you are spoiled too much by that mercy...

As with anything, the right balance is important.

I think it's enough just to be able to do what I can without overdoing it, sometimes without straining my shoulders.

In the past, there was a time when I was actively working on volunteering, service, and charitable activities, but in one group, despite being in each other's worlds, I was disillusioned with what kind of ugly and foolish taunts while everyone participated with the intention of volunteering and service in their own way, such as “I only did this, but he wasn't good enough,” and “why am I doing this, you don't understand”...

Anyway, I realized at that time that doing with altruism and compassion is a good idea to look only at what you have been able to do and what you have worked hard to do, and not worry too much about other people or other evaluations.

In a spirit of altruism and mercy, it is also important to do things for others and take care of them. It's important, but don't overdo it, don't do anything more than necessary, do what you can, and it's a good idea to limit that to evaluating what you've been able to do within yourself.

I pray for good deeds.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

I'm Yuki Shizuku, a female professional wrestler monk who is a counselor apprentice.
Nice to meet you, Tomoko!

First of all, I think the Fukushima earthquake caused a great deal of hardship.
Also, when they were evacuated, they were probably doing a lot of hard work because they were desperate for their families.

As Tomoko says
“That was tough.” “I felt like I couldn't write it down.” It made me notice when I received words such as. I wanted someone to understand.

I think it's great that you've even noticed it yourself.

Now let's consider one more thing.
Mainly in Japan, self-sacrifice has become a virtue, isn't it?
From a woman's point of view, there is a phrase called “the merit of domestic assistance,” and it is sometimes said that being like a wife who supports her husband is a wonderful way to be a woman.

But if you turn it the other way around, it's the same for saying to yourself “an unattractive woman if you don't sacrifice herself.”
Can a woman be a great wife without self-sacrifice?

Another thing I want you to notice is tell yourself that “Tomoko is a wonderful woman even if she doesn't sacrifice herself.”
Why don't you say goodbye to the feeling that if you don't sacrifice yourself, you won't be turned around by others?

By the way, this is my experience story, and my mother (chief priest) is a person who can be said to be the head of the Okeyaki Family, and she is a candidate to win the World Okanoyaki Championships (laughs)

I decided to move from my parents' house, and I decided to celebrate the housewarming at the place I moved.
But my mom stopped it!! (° rotuno) no
“If my fortune tells you, move to ○/△! Tell everyone to postpone housewarming If you move on this day, your luck will improve in the future!” and this and that.

From my point of view, my friend's schedule and work are there.

But from my mother's point of view, I'm desperate to make my life better.

I also know that there is something in my mother's deep psychology that my grandmother (mother's mother) won't praise me no matter what I do...

What I think of my mother is “everyone is happy when the mother is happy.”

Please wish Tomoko a lot of happiness for herself too. Then people around you will be happy too!
That's fine, it works!