I'm obsessed with my ex who shook himself

This is my first time consulting with you.
Thank you for your support.

I had been in a relationship for three and a half years with my previous girlfriend who was three and a half years older, but no matter what, I couldn't accept his lack of planning, so they said goodbye to me and broke up. At that time, they cried and told me they didn't want to break up, and they said they wanted to get back together even after they broke up.
However, it was only 2 months since then, and I confessed to a junior in the common club who was younger and cuter than me, 8 years younger than him, and went out with him.

About a year after I broke up with that boyfriend, I went into a relationship with someone new who was two years older, but we parted ways after 9 months due to a mismatch in values.
He had quite a bit of a dent, and why don't you get back close to him from a mutual acquaintance? I was told, but since I couldn't see my future with him, I didn't go back close.
Then, after only 3 months, I started dating a girl who was younger and cuter than me, 8 years younger than him, and also from the same workplace.

They both waved at me, and I don't feel like getting back close to them no matter what happens, but it's not fun.
Even though they were so indented, they switched over quickly and made a new lover before me, and they both had a 20-year-old girlfriend who was 28 years old at the time and cuter than me, and the three people I, my ex, my new girlfriend, are in the same community...
(However, I kept it a secret that I was dating at work, so I don't think my surroundings or my new girlfriend were in a relationship with me. (There's no such thing as being awkward in that respect...)

It's completely over for me, and I must have thought it would be nice to do it separately, but I'm so confused, and I'm not sure.
I feel so pitiful that I am so small.
When we broke up, we were separate from each other, but it's scary to have a feeling that it would be nice if we could be happy and wish for the other person's happiness, but when this actually happens, I feel like I can't forgive myself.

With this kind of development for 2 people in a row, I don't have a lover right now, and when both of them are happy, it becomes painful that I can't be happy because I'm a small person with a bad personality.

I want to live a positive and happy life without worrying about my ex.
How can I get rid of this kind of stubborn feeling?

Thank you for taking the time to read.
Please teach those who are immature (v_v)

3 Zen Responses

Your ex has nothing to do with your life.

Hello Mi-san.

You can't help but worry about your ex's happiness.
The answer is simple: you can't allow yourself to be happier than yourself, even though you think you're below yourself because you're flabbergasted. I'm simply misunderstanding my own worth.
Mi-san has confirmed her existence by her opponent's presence. So I think the boyfriend you go out with also has more weight on the value of a boyfriend based on your partner's social status or someone your friends envy rather than unity of heart.

Then there's no way we can have a happy relationship. I think she's probably a pretty person, but even if men fall in love with you at first, they aren't peaceful women when time is up, so normal, kind men walk away.

It's about time I need the ambition to change Mi-san's way of life myself. She's such a person that people ask me what to do here, so she's probably not a disgusting woman for men to think of. The direction of my way of life is slightly wrong. Instead of looking for an image of a woman being pampered, be willing to polish your heart out of sight, whether it's volunteering or cleaning, and develop your own appeal so you don't fail in love.

Good luck! Gassho

It's just jealousy.

Everyone has the same roots, so that's fine.
If I were in the same situation,
You probably feel the same kind of jealousy.

The only solution is
You too are dating a wonderful new boyfriend.
If you do that, you'll get rid of things like your ex.

Aren't you looking down on it?

When I look at your text, I feel like you think that your ex is someone who can do anything, and to put it bluntly, that he is an age horny, and that he is inferior to me. Isn't that why they hate it? Apart from that, it's not like we're dating right now, and since you gave up, it doesn't matter if it were originally. I think the only reason I hate him is because I'm licking him. So don't be kidding. You don't like him right now, do you? From the text, I can only read the feeling that I had no sense of money and said goodbye in a cool way. I don't care who I go out with, but I can't forgive being in a relationship with a younger and cute girl. In short, for you, he's cheeky right now.
Try turning it over. Are you happy right now? You wouldn't be happy with that kind of sexual root, would you? Let's start by getting involved with people and then rethinking it. Aren't you looking at it from above? I think you're probably good-looking and have a clear brain. That's why, on the contrary, try to speak slowly and carefully, with kindness and love in each word. I'm changing the wording. Try it for a year. You'll change to the wonderful you, and the way people around you look at you will also change. Then, a wonderful person suitable for you will appear. Please try it. I'm praying for happiness. Jōkō-ji

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