Mother-in-law's death

Garden-san

My mother-in-law, who accepted Garden-san, who decided to get married after deciding to get married internationally, passed away, and I think it's very painful.

First of all, let's talk about “don't want to make you worry by messing around,” but I want them not to suppress it and be sad. Never deny being sad. Also, why don't you honestly say “I want to grieve the death of my mother-in-law for a while” to people around you. Please see the following page for details.
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/107

Also, it's about American families understanding that “I'm glad (my mother-in-law) went to God and was freed from suffering.”

There are different ways of thinking about mourning depending on race, country, and religion. By the way, what does Garden-san himself think? Or how do you say it, will it come right?
Unfortunately, I don't think American families will come easily that Garden-san will come easily.

The 21st century is said to be the century of mutual understanding of religion.
If you look at the differences between branches and leaves, there's no point. Here, I think it would be nice if you could share your thoughts of caring for and remembering those who have passed away with your family without being bound by detailed differences in expressions (heaven, paradise, afterlife, etc.).

Either way, sadness won't go away overnight.
Please cherish that sorrow, too.

-Postscript: Thank you-
I heard about the family's actions after my mother-in-law passed away, and I was surprised even though they wrote “Condolences vary by race, country, and religion.” It's definitely not cold, and is that normal in America?

The atmosphere is quite different from Japan. Here, I think it's common to think “we should probably refrain from leisure activities until the 49th day has passed.” There seems to be no choice but to accept that it is a cultural difference.

Please continue to accept Garden-san's way, sometimes with sadness, sometimes with joy, and sometimes while barbecuing.

First of all, I would like to pray for your mother-in-law's peace of mind.

Well, Mr. Tetsuya Urakami also said it, but please be sad right now.
It's natural to be sad right now, and please don't put up with it.
Certainly, if you don't feel sad now, there is a risk that it will change your physical condition for the worse later...
Also, there is no need to be considerate of those around you right now.
It doesn't matter how much you say honestly, “I want to grieve the death of my mother-in-law for a while.”

Please see the following page for details.
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/107

Rather than differences in denomination or doctrine, I think it would be nice for you to cherish your feelings for your now-deceased mother-in-law and share your thoughts of remembrance with your family.

Hello Garden-sama. “Thank you” has already been written, but I will respond.
I would like to express my condolences to my mother-in-law. Also, it's sad.

Well, I wrote it's sad... but it varies from person to person. It's probably different within the family, and it's also different within the person himself.
And, depending on the time, etc. I think feelings change depending on time and circumstances.

Furthermore, in a life that continues from now on, something will trigger you, and there may be times when you feel sad again.
The range of ups and downs is different for each person, and the triggering season is also different.

If you “really don't feel anything,” it's a good idea to rely on a health care provider such as a counselor.
But even if I'm sad, I'll probably get hungry, go to the bathroom, take a bath, and I think there are things I need to do.
There must be times in your daily life when you suddenly laugh or something else comes to mind in your heart or head.

Even if it's hard or sad, everyday life will come back.

I'm sure that can be said to be proof that Mr. Garden has been able to “accept the facts” at least somewhat. I think so.

Garden-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

I would like to express my sincere condolences on the passing of my mother-in-law. I sincerely pray for your souls.

There is a big difference between how Catholics perceive the death of their mother-in-law and how they perceive Garden-sama, and I know that it is unavoidable that there is some confusion due to differences in religion they believe in.

I'm not very familiar with Christian doctrine, but I know that the content of the “Catholic View of Life and Death” below may be slightly helpful.

Catholic view of life and death
http://www.geocities.co.jp/HeartLand-Gaien/2696/mors.html

Catholics believe that her mother-in-law was invited to eternal “happiness” after her death, so I presume that she thought it was “good.”

I'm not familiar with Christian doctrine to the extent that I can detail the differences between Christian and Buddhist doctrines, but I know that in Buddhism, the point that it does not recognize the creator or absolute God, and the fact that it does not acknowledge the existence of spirits that are eternal after death are representative.

Furthermore, there are considerable differences in various doctrines, such as the “theory of reincarnation” in Buddhism and the “theory of faith salvation” in Christianity, etc., but one thing I can say is that they both recommend “good deeds.” It means not to accumulate bad deeds, so as not to accumulate crimes. However, so far, Jusei himself has not been able to understand much about how crimes committed after “forgiveness of sins” through baptism should be treated in Christianity, and how the rewards for those crimes are...

Of course, there may be room for debate, but I would like to take a Buddhist interpretation of what was invited to eternal “happiness,” and as a person headed to the Pure Land of the Buddha (God's Kingdom/Heaven) for ascetic practice in order to aim for enlightenment and nirvana (eternal happiness), I would like to thank my late mother-in-law for her blessings so far, pray for her souls, and strive for good deeds to be rewarded for her blessings.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

To Garden-sama

Let's cry honestly.
Isn't it OK to do meso meso?
I wonder if it's okay to break the image others hold...
Isn't that just human?
Wouldn't it be harder to hide your true feelings?
Besides always being cheerful, let's cry when we're sad.

After all, if you can't cry because you don't want them to worry, why don't you say a word to the people around you and complain “I'm lonely.”
I'm sure there are people around you who can give you a hand.

I'm sure your beloved mother-in-law is worried about you over there.
Gassho