I'm afraid of life and myself

It seems that someone attempted suicide with gas.
At least as a last reward for myself, when I lit a cigarette to take the last break in the world... it was amazing! (ignition)
It seems that the words he uttered while being taken to the hospital were “I thought I was going to die...” (lol)
I thought about this and that in my head, and I even thought about death. Then I wanted to smoke, it caught fire, and I felt that my life was in danger. In other words, it's completely different from your ego or what you think. That's life.
Life is a wonderful work that is completely unrelated to what you imagine or handle on your mind.
If something you shouldn't take in gets into your life regardless of your intention, you will sneeze and cough regardless of your will.
Your heart is beating regardless of your intentions. I'm breathing.
Can I make any one of them just the way I want?
If you overdo it and try to stop it, you will suffer and die.
You were born into this world before you ask the reason “why are you here?”
It is a creature called a human being that wants to take advantage of it, but before logic and nonsense, there is a current truth.
There was a philosopher who said, “There are words in the beginning.”
But the truth is,
“Let's start with facts.”
This is the world that Buddha has enlightened.
for what? Why are you alive? Before such nonsense, there are facts before words, and before thoughts.
In search of this, many Zen people also come to our temple to seek the way.
If people can be convinced and happy with their rituals, people all over the world are already logically happy.
Even if the score is just a sheet music, there is no sound.
The recipe doesn't taste good even if it's just a recipe.
You should live more in reality.
Let's feel the direct life of life rather than characters, language, words, and information like this.
Then, let's seek a way of life where you are most happy and at ease with your life.

I think Mr. I.G's problem is fundamental to us.
I will speak from the standpoint of the Jodo Shinshu sect.
It might be a bit difficult.
Sorry if it's hard to understand.

Buddhism preaches reincarnation.
You are born when you die.
We are born and we die.
And when they die, they are born again.
Also, since Buddhism preaches self-worth, if you work hard for good, you will be born in a good place in the next life, and if you do bad deeds, you will be born in a bad place in the next life.
This is the state of “life” that Buddha preached.

※Jodo Shinshu monks use “life” and “life” properly.
In the case of “life,” it represents life currently being lived, and “life” expresses the state of life, including reincarnation.

Why is he alive?
This is the result of continuous reincarnation long ago.
This is the result of the previous life, the previous life, the previous life being born, dead, then born... over and over again.
If they had freed themselves from reincarnation in the past and attained Buddhism, they wouldn't have been born human.
*There are exceptions.

Master Yunran, a Chinese monk, gave an example of “I don't know Shunju, and I don't know Juyang's festival after Imushi.”
“Cicadas don't know spring or fall. Also, I don't know summer is summer.” It means.
This is an example of how we look at life.
Cicadas are born in summer and die in summer, so they don't know spring or fall.
So I don't even know summer is summer.
Similarly, since humans don't know their past lives or next lives, they say they don't know what my life is now.

It was Buddha who realized this, and he explained that we are reincarnated rather than finished after death.

What is the meaning of being alive?
What is life?

I was born “as a result of death in a previous life.”
Also, my previous life was “filled with virtues sufficient to be born human (I kept the Five Commandments).”
As a result, I was born as a human being.
Being born human is extremely difficult.
Also, being born a human is a great opportunity.
This is because the path to becoming a Buddha is ready.

Life is extremely short.
However, the “life” of reincarnation will never end.
Buddhism teaches how to break free from this reincarnation and become a Buddha.
Let me hear the teachings of becoming a Buddha with this “life.”

Mr. I.G.

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

What is “life”... what is living...

Why do we have to live to die someday...

It's a really difficult question, and I'm still thinking about it.

Until now, I have answered the following questions about the meaning of life and living.

About the meaning of life
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/cat_318924.html

About living
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/cat_318925.html

I would like you to refer to each of the humble answers above when you have time, and I will now quote a poem by Hiroshi Yoshino below.

I think it will be a hint for thinking about “life” in understanding the way we are.

There is no need to give a hasty answer today or tomorrow.

Anyway, let's think about the things in front of us together while being carefully done one by one.

“Life (Life)” lyrics by Hiroshi Yoshino

Life is
So that I can't complete it on my own
It seems to have been made
Flowers too
If you just have the stamens and stamens
Inadequate
Bugs and wind are visiting
Interact between meshibe and stamens
Life is
Embracing a lack in it
Get it satisfied from others

Maybe the world
The sum of others
though
mutually
What is satisfying a lack, etc.
neither knowing nor being informed
People scattered between each other
A relationship where people can remain indifferent
When
A relationship where people are allowed to even be careless
Just like that
What makes the world loosely structured
why?

Flowers are blooming
Right around the corner
Another person in the form of a tabby
It's flying in the light

When I have too
It must have been a tabby for someone

When You're Too
Maybe it was the wind for me

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

When I heard the puja of the Sri Lankan monk Elder Albomulle Sumanasara, there was a story with this kind of content.
Roughly speaking.
The characteristic of living things is that they move.
The reason it works is because there is suffering.
It's painful when I hold my breath, so I want to wear it.
It's painful even if I keep wearing it, so I want to smoke.
It's painful when I'm hungry, so I want to eat.
I want to stop eating because it's painful even if I eat too much.
Standing is tiring and painful, so I want to sit and sleep.
It's also painful to sleep all the time, so I want to roll over and stand.
In other words, the activity in which living things live is simply moving to escape suffering.
However, the place where it moved also suffered. If the suffering here is great, they have escaped from another suffering, their suffering has increased again, and they are just moving from suffering to suffering.
It was a story like...
So why is it alive? Since they have obsessions and worries, they are attached to a life of suffering and are reincarnating.
The Buddha discovered that living is painful.
Admitting that it's painful and obvious leads to peace of mind.