I'm going to die.

I read it. You're alive right now. And there must be so much more to learn. Maybe you haven't learned what you really want to know yet. I think it's too early to draw conclusions.
Isn't truth or wisdom in front of you? Your desire for knowledge will surely be what you need. Please don't look away and seek wisdom. And please make it your purpose in life.
You can't feel it just by thinking it with your head. Please try it out with your whole body and soul so that you can spend the rest of your life taking advantage of it!
I sincerely pray to the gods and Buddhas that you will survive and become a wise person.

If you're a college student, study first.
Remember your first thoughts about what you went to college for.
Please thoroughly learn what you can learn there, and make friends too.
Then they get a job and work.
Working is a Buddhist practice that makes being close (easy) a person.
You're going to be supporting someone.
As I wrote the other day, please use that life to support someone.
I think your parents want that too.
If you can use two languages as a native speaker, I think the range of work will expand.

First, let's start what we can do now.

PostScript
I'd like to talk about more things with you and the monks here, but it seems difficult in terms of time.
There are several ways to sing Namu Amida Buddha, Namu Amidabu, Nanmaida, but any one is fine.
Amita-sama listens attentively.
Please say that you want to go to the Pure Land of Paradise as long as time allows.
If you hear a voice, speak out; if you don't hear a voice, just move your mouth; if your mouth doesn't move, sing it in your heart.
If you go to the Pure Land of Paradise first, please guide us as our senior.
I'm looking forward to that time.
Namu Amida Buddha, Namu Amida Buddha, Namu Amida Buddha

Accepted

There is no point in living
There is no subjectivity
The lifespan is running out
The answer is probably an answer that actually took a lot of time to come up

That's not a mistake
It shows that the meaning and subjectivity of life exist only between people and events other than oneself.
In order to feel these things, you must create relationships with others and things that satisfy you

If action is not involved
only fear arises

Because words are finite
Knowledge is a double-edged sword
Obsessed with knowledge
There are times when I hit myself with a knife
You need to be very careful

Do your best without thinking every day
Clean carefully
Make rice
Take that life

If you want answers that aren't there again
Action is necessary
Take a trip
Meet people
feeling nature, etc.
This kind of act
Brings peace and balance to the mind

There are a lot of people in this world
There is always someone somewhere who has the answers you are looking for.

You can't get botamochi off the shelf without sticking your hands out of it, right?
only because of your actions
The meaning of life is born
Only the knowledge that is really necessary remains.

If you're alive, you can sometimes get into a long, painful tunnel
However, there will always be an end to the suffering of now
Move with courage

Gassho

Shinsho-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

I've mentioned it a bit before, but although the meaning, value, meaning, and evaluation of life cannot exist as an entity, it is possible as an auspicious thing.

Therefore, if it is a good causal relationship (cause and condition) and a good dependency relationship, good results can be expected.

It is said that “your life span will soon run out”... it may be related to “your health is harmed and your body is screaming,” so since details such as circumstances, circumstances, etc. are not known, it may not be described very frivolously, but as much as possible, it is important to maintain a good state of mind so that the mind is not disturbed by worries, etc.

When it comes to “not being able to find subjectivity in one's own will,” it is naturally an auspicious entity, so even if you try to find an independent, substantial self or will within oneself, it becomes difficult.

Of course, it is not emptiness or emptiness that is completely absent, and depending on causal relationships and dependencies, it can be found secular to some extent. I want to find good things by adjusting good causes and relationships as much as possible.

Since the mind and body are closely related, it is conceivable that physical disorders may also have a bad effect on the mind. First of all, please take care of yourself and take care of yourself, and if you are being treated at a medical institution, I sincerely pray for your recovery and healing with dedicated treatment.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

“[My desire for 'knowledge' exceeds my desire for 'life', my health is harmed by not being able to live, and my body is screaming.”
If you want to satisfy your intellectual desires, aim to be healthy
If you don't think you're healthy, your intellect won't work accurately.
I'm in a state where nutrition isn't going around because I'm thinking too much with my head.

“Its essence is the same as a depressed patient” is depression, isn't it?
If so, please restore your rhythm of life first and aim to be physically and mentally healthy.

“As long as I keep my faith, I can't do anything about that anomaly. ”
It's wrong, if you have faith, you should be healthy.
You just have the wrong way of thinking
I really want to be healthy. I want to be well
I can see that desire in between sentences.
That's probably why I posted it here.

Don't get caught up in one thought or anything,
Freely expand your way of thinking
What is good for living
What can we do towards it
To that end, how should the body be healthy
Then, little by little, move forward.

I saw that he was a very serious person.
Do you know the term one needle of the ocean? Our lives are like scooping a thin needle from the bottom of a big ocean, and although we cherish it, there are times when we drop that needle at an accidental beat. That's called death. Once you drop it, you'll never be able to pick it up again. Because it is such a precious life, we have to think about how to use it. This is our mission. Thinking about this mission is the meaning of life. If you can, I'd like you to make use of it for the world and people, but it's not that easy to understand. Please take a long time to think about it.