The habit of complaining

I read it. I felt that complaints and a lot of stress have accumulated in your daily life. There are a lot of bad things and bad feelings when you're alive, aren't there?
I understand your feelings.
As you said, speaking ill or complaining is bad work. I will definitely return to myself.
It then leads yourself to the bottom of your grievances and dissatisfaction, and makes you unhappy, doesn't it
Therefore, it is necessary to relieve your dissatisfaction and stress.
It is also necessary to stop or reduce what you are dissatisfied with, or look at it in a different way.
What do you think, it would be quite difficult to switch right now, but please switch little by little. Also, please switch ahead of time, even if it's just your feelings.
It's your own life and life, so please take care of it. Also, it's the lives and lives of the people around you, so please take good care of that too. The way we look at things and the way we proceed will change quite a bit.
Even if the results are the same, I think it is possible to improve quite a bit and maintain good condition with the people around you just by changing the way you look at it.
To that end, I would like you to brightly review your future while reviewing your own perspective, way of thinking, and way of life.

I sincerely pray that your future will be filled with a healthy mind and body, and that you will have a rich day with the people around you.

Hello Jusdoit.

You speak ill of yourself; you want to change yourself and live your life.
It's great. There is no advantage in saying bad things. Mental habits are quite difficult to fix, but they are just like culture classes. By repeating it over and over again, and putting it into practice, bad words will gradually disappear.
The Buddha explained the teaching of the eight correct ascetic practices to be practiced, called the “Eight Shodo,” as a method of human practice. Among them, they called “proper language,” and they gave me four points as the correct way to speak: no foolishness, no bad words, no lies, no obscenity, and make an effort. Even if this is correct, an oath is necessary that I will not speak ill of it.

But if you just put up with it, stress builds up. So make a place where you can relieve stress. Karaoke might be the best. If you don't like something and want to speak ill of your partner, use the karaoke box to say “○○ idiot!” Let's yell a lot (laughs). Then I feel refreshed.

While doing so, if you practice proper language, I think the habit of speaking ill will naturally go away.
Good luck! Gassho

There are times when what you do isn't going well because of other people.
However, if you were Superman, you would overcome and succeed even if others dragged you off your feet.
The reason you want to complain to others is because, after all, your own abilities don't matter much.

However, all humans don't want to acknowledge their own lack of ability, so if they don't blame others, they won't calm down.
That's because I'm worried about pride.

Mainichi “Greed, anger, laziness, and pride are afflictions. Worry is the cause of worry and suffering.” Be sure to remember that.
What makes me want to speak ill of it (it's fun to say it) is the worry of greed.
It's the agony of anger being irritated by others.
Losing your mind when you have to be careful not to speak ill of it is an affliction of laziness.
Wanting to think of yourself as being better than others is a source of pride.

First, let's be aware of our own worries.

Jusdoit
Hello. I took a look.

There is also a saying “speaking ill of others is a taste of honey,” but as you say, speaking ill of others definitely reduces trust in yourself. Instead of simply saying “you can't do that,” I thought that bad talk was an outpouring of feelings that pushed me to death. It's a guess from the text, so it might be a misplaced story, but in that case, I hope you can listen to it.

Why do they speak ill of you? I think that's because I have a feeling that I was “not treated with care.” For example, in the process of growing up, I wasn't recognized by my family, etc., and at the bottom of Jusdoit's heart, for example, sadness, for example, hate (I understand! I had that feeling), and I felt that it was coming out bad for others from there.

If you put up with bad talk all of a sudden, this time it will bounce back to yourself and self-loathing will increase. It can also be said that bad talk protects Jusdoit's heart in a sense. So if you say bad things, carry a notepad and write them without putting it out of your mouth. You can also keep writing bad things about the day before going to bed. It's also important to stick it out anyway.

The other is the practice of gratitude. At first, “just the shape” is fine for things that are taken for granted around us, so I say thank you aloud. It's better to take it for granted, not something special. If you have feelings, that's fine, and even if you don't have them, it will gradually happen over time.
I thought it was important to look at the feelings within myself. Jusdoit has worked so hard to get this far. I've been working hard. I've also made an effort. I think that's very admirable. Please acknowledge yourself as such.

Buddhism is a teaching about looking at one's own heart. I hope you can stop for a moment and ask, “I wonder if they wanted love.” Also, if you think about “what kind of words would make your heart feel safe,” I think you'll be able to see what you're looking for. I'm rooting for you. Gassho