Trauma and how to switch feelings

　Good evening. is that so? That seems difficult.
... and I'm sorry for starting with someone else's behavior.
If there is a Jizo at a nearby temple, a Buddhist altar at home, or pictures of your ancestors are displayed, why not head there and come out? Also, if you look at the “monk list,” there are also people who have disclosed their email addresses and phone numbers. There is also something called a “Buddhist telephone consultation” (although it's daytime on weekdays).
Or watch yourself squishy. “Oh, I'm screaming about the same thing again. I wonder how many minutes it will last this time...” and it makes “my messy self” slightly ridiculous. There is a “list of similar questions” at the bottom of this page, so read through it.
Whichever one is recommended.
... However, as long as it is written in such a “tempting” manner, I feel that a solution will not come close. I don't know what the other monks would say.
... So you don't have to like me, but don't hate hasunoha.

We all have things that are irretrievable or that we just don't want to remember.
In response to such thoughts, they don't repel or try to eliminate them of one's own will, and they immediately disappear after “I'll make you think thoroughly in my head.” I'm not thinking about it myself.
It happens that the brain processes information exactly, and when it wants to digest undigested things from the past, it resists by increasing “my consciousness,” or when it thinks it's disgusting (-_-;), it repels, and the brain continues to pick up on it.
The problem is that it is [the act of ❝ disgusting what is being reminded of ❞] hate consciousness hate behavior.
This is important.
The story may be a little different, but I think it will be helpful, so please listen to it.
I was in my 5th year of training at Sojiji Temple, the head temple of the Soto sect.
You can go shopping at the ascetic dojo twice every 5 days. I often went to a health food shop called Kenju no Mori in SEIYU nearby.
I heard a mysterious spell called “✖ ●●●●●”
I can't hear what it says, but spells have been cast in stores all the time.
“(-_-;)... what is that, what is that saying?”
I'm sure I heard it, but I left the store without really understanding what it was.
In December, I do zazen all the way from the 1st to the 8th, but during zazen, I was curious about that mysterious spell, and it became an ∞ loop.
The brain probably has the function of wanting to resolve what concerns you, and trying to resolve it.
It's not just about zazen.
I couldn't help it because I didn't like it anymore.
The more you want to eliminate it, the more it loops endlessly.
When I asked my juniors later, they found out that it was this commercial song, and it didn't matter anymore even if it reminded me of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ymapu8_fXqA
There's no better spell than this with its intense phrases and visuals.
Bottom line: Be aware that you are not causing the traumas and flashbacks.
It reminds me of things I don't want to remember.
At that time, don't invite a critic called “I” to my brain studio there.
If you have any problems, we are also waiting for your call.

Good evening, Hanako-san.
My name is Chida Akihiro and I am a monk in Saitama Prefecture.
Thank you for your support.

It is said that they are suffering from traumatic experiences that occurred in the past.
It's not something I can say to people, and I'm struggling with conflicts within myself.

Actually, I had a traumatic experience similar to Hanako's.
I was 7 years old when I was in the second grade of elementary school. Incidentally, I haven't told anyone until now.
Why did I do such a terrible thing?
I spent sleepless days and was tormented quite a bit by anger, sadness, and regret.

Furthermore, even though more than 20 years have passed, I have never forgotten this day.
Rather, I feel like I've grown within myself as time goes on. It's the same.
It is often said that time will resolve heartbreak, but I think it depends on the circumstances.

It is said that they want to forget these painful memories as soon as possible,
The more you wish to forget, on the contrary, that is probably the only thing that comes to mind in your head.
I don't specialize in psychology, but I don't think this kind of experience will ever be forgotten.
Isn't that why it's traumatic? Rather, I even think I shouldn't forget it.

Don't run away from what you've done and thoroughly face it head-on.
I ask myself every day why I did that at that time.
More than 20 years later, there is still no answer.

If it's something I can make amends for, I'd like to make amends, but unfortunately I don't think what I've done is something I can easily make up for
I think so I plan to spend my whole life carrying it on my back.

You might think it's a convenient idea
Don't forget your regrets at this time and definitely avoid a similar situation next time. Self-admonition, isn't it?
Also, if there are people who are suffering from similar things, I listen to them as someone to talk to.
I'm thorough at this. This is the least I can make up for it.

They say they don't want to waste time on unnecessary things, but this time is definitely not a waste.
Rather, isn't it the time needed to face myself?
Of course, worrying too much isn't good for your health...

I'm sorry, I got a half-hearted response, but that's all I can say as long as I don't understand the content.
I hope you take it as just one “example” of me thinking this way.