hasunoha

nothing works

I don't know what I really want to do.
I studied hard, exercised, and passed the first exam because I wanted to become a police officer, but I was born with a nervous system disorder, and I failed in the final pass. From there, it became like burnout, and I gave up being a police officer and went to a vocational school to get a general police position, but my motivation didn't improve, and I failed the exam twice.
No matter what I do, it won't work.
Relationships within the family aren't going well either, and I don't have conversations with my mother and grandparents.
It's like I'm becoming who I didn't want to be, and I'm pathetic and frustrated, and I cry every day.
Disability came to mind first, and I don't understand why I was born unable to do anything.

How can I change my mind so I can live a more positive life?

4 Zen Responses

Don't think about “everything” in one place

Passing the first exam of the police exam is something anyone can do.
That's why it worked.
I feel that it's not that “everything” didn't go wrong, but that you put all of the things that worked together and labeled “no good.”
By the way, have you ever had a part-time job?
Part-time work experience may be useful for employment tests.
Also, please read the secretary certification text.
It's not about taking the test; it contains the knowledge necessary as a member of society, so it's a study.
If your mind isn't positive, let's move forward little by little, even if it's just your body.

If you start with what you can do

Specifically, I don't know what kind of goals you have and what kind of job you should get, but before lamenting “I can't do anything,” why don't you start with something you can do?
You say you're in your 20s, but that means you're indebted to your parents' house, right? For now, why don't you find your own role not only from your personal surroundings, but also from just doing housework?

There is a size to suit you

Nice to meet you, Ohasu-san.
This is Nakamura Taishaku from Tokushima Prefecture, the temple of Dharma and ceiling paintings.

You were burnt out because you couldn't pass the final exam as a police officer. No matter what you do, it doesn't work, and only nervous system disorders come to mind, making you have a hard time.

Ohasu-san has something that suits Ohasu-san.
Kobo Daishi Kukai says, “No matter what kind of place you connect a giraffe that runs a thousand miles a day, it cannot play an active role.” I want to say there must be a bigger place where you can be more free.

Please try searching for various places. I'm sure there's a place that's the right size for Ohasu-san.
I hope Ohasu-san can flap her wings in a big way.

I also have a disability

I seem to have a slight problem with my skeleton, and it seems like I'm different from a normal person.
I joined the volleyball club when I was in high school, and no matter what, when sliding while lying face down, I hit the bone in the middle of my chest hard, making it very painful.
I felt complicated because I couldn't do what I should have been able to do.
Complexes should not be made into feelings of inferiority.
It's just a sense of alienation.
Certainly, I wasn't able to play volleyball, but I expanded into other fields.
It was a guitar. I couldn't read the score. It was a complex, but it's not an inferiority complex.
It's just a “sense of alienation.”
A sense of alienation is simply being out of group.
It's not a bad thing, a negative thing, a loss, or a loss. You might not know it right now.
Sutras, operas, rap, enka, pop and jazz are all sounds.
Even if it's not an opera world called the police (tentative), it can be useful for the world and people.
There is only a slight difference in the body.
You should rather be grateful. You might not understand it now.
It is certain that this experience will be a huge driving force in the future.
Don't be pessimistic.
There are many roles in ascetic dojos.
It is unsuitable.
Even so, I'm sure to find my nature.
It doesn't matter if it's not number one or only one.
Please learn to be able to do just about anything.
Anything can be done is a corporation (the selfless work of humans, the true form).
Today, I was a hauler, announcer, cheerboy, information disseminator, cleaner, dishwashing clerk, cook, performer, problem consultation, etc.
I'm a boy, but I'm not the only boy.
Being a boy is not about being a boy.
They're doing everything.
That can be said for every human being.
Do they only deliver newspapers?
Do police officers only do police work?
This mind and body have the freedom of being able to do anything with a thousand hands and a thousand hands.
Please be able to do anything.