How to be considerate of someone

Mami

Do people who are really selfish know that they are selfish
I don't think I'm aware of it.

The frustrating feeling of not being able to be considerate of the other person
I think it's linked to compassion.

Follow the heart that has developed in you
Let's get involved with people.

And, maybe,
My self as a volunteer
You may feel proud.

Then, this time I did something good and I'm proud of myself,
You may be wondering what it is.

After all, I used volunteering
Maybe he was just trying to stand up for himself.

The process of delving into that self
I think it will nurture humans.

As long as you try to gain confidence by doing something,
I think that goes hand in hand with anxiety.

No matter how far I go, I'm stupid,
I think I'm going to live as I am
I think the feeling of receiving it is confidence.

Self is something that comes later. Anyway, I think it's about continuing to practice something.

Keep going to bed early and getting up early every day.
The room is always clean.
The shoes I took off are always in order.
It's as simple as that.

while it continues, huh? You'll notice that you're doing it yourself without difficulty.
There must always be something good about people. Why don't you find a good place for yourself and nurture them?

Never compare yourself to others. People are people.

If you really think of yourself as selfish, take a close look at your surroundings and ask yourself “Aren't you doing anything selfish?” All you need to do is ask the question.

But if you do that one by one, you'll spend a huge amount of time every time you do something.

The reason you think you're selfish isn't because you think “it has to be like this” can't get there easily?

But think about it.
No matter what you do, if you decide your own actions by thinking “it must be like this” from the beginning, your way of thinking and actions will be greatly spoiled.
Then, you won't be able to demonstrate the abilities you originally have.

Originally, there is no such thing as “it has to be like this,” but everyone has big or small things within themselves.

But isn't it more realistic to look at your own behavior after doing it and correct it instead of thinking about it because you don't have confidence there?

I tried doing what I wanted.
But there was a mistake in it; it was different from my ideal.
If so, let's try this next time; if this doesn't work, let's do that.

This is how you get closer and closer to your ideals, and that accumulation leads to your own confidence.

As someone who has been volunteering for many years, I also have one request.

Please don't volunteer for anyone else.
I definitely want people to volunteer for themselves.

When it comes to volunteering, the image of being useful to people tends to take precedence, but a place called a volunteer site is definitely not such a beautiful place.
It really is a real world where you can show off a person's suffering and that person's life in a variety of ways.
But because it's such a world, nothing can replace the joy of being useful to someone.

If you volunteer, I would like those people to show you various aspects, to learn something by being involved in their lives, and to see your own smile, not your partner, when you were useful in some way.

Your actions are not for anyone else.
For better or worse, all the results are within you.

What you get there is sure to be a treasure that no one else can get.

I believe and support that you will experience a lot, learn, and become a wonderful woman.

When you acknowledge your weaknesses, you become a baby.
Humans were originally babies, bubbling around.
Babies are honest.
You can only SOS by crying about what you need.
Even when you become an adult, things don't change a little bit.
It's just that I'm not being honest.
I've memorized a lot of things, so SOS babu babu is different from person to person, so hey, boo babu.
Who is Dogen Zenji's little monk
They said, “It's nice to have a good time storing Jinen Yu Niyoshakushi's food.”
Even if your partner is an adult, it's called chai as if you were treating a baby.
They're all babies.
You're a baby, too.
No matter what kind of good-looking yakuza, he's a baby with a scary face in the form of an adult.
If you keep that in mind, they're all the same.
Everyone has trouble sometimes.
I want you to help me.
I'll give it to you, chai. Babubu

Mami

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Caring for others... it's really difficult...

Also, even if you do something that you think would be good for you, there are times when it is superfluous and counterproductive.

In my humble opinion, to be honest, I don't think it's possible to truly understand the other person. After all, I am myself, others are others, and there is no way that I can become someone else.

So, basically, everyone is selfish, self-centered, thinking only about themselves, and after all, they can only look at other things using their own yardstick.

However, if you are selfish and free to do everything, you will not be able to spend time in this human society.

Therefore, ethics, morals, rules, laws, etc. for living in human society have been established.

Therefore, when it comes to being careful, one thing is to abide by ethics, morality, rules, and laws, which are the precepts (Five Commandments, Ten Good Commandments, etc.) in Buddhist terms, but at the same time, it is important to understand that our world is made up of supporting, helping, sharing, and supplementing each other, and if something is in trouble or suffering, it is important to support and help each other with what we can do.

Also, if you want to cultivate a more specific sense of compassion, I think it would be good to practice “mercy” in Buddhism.

There is a method of practicing “mercy meditation” little by little every day, and one of them is to make everyone think they are babies in order to be considerate of Mr. Tange's partner, and similarly, there is also a way to make everyone think they were mothers in past lives.

By thinking that all things (all sentient beings) are their former mothers, it means making arrangements so that they can treat everyone with a feeling of gratitude and reward. Of course, it doesn't matter if it's not just a mother, but also a father, grandparent, or teacher, but I think it's okay to think that they are people who have been indebted in past lives.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho