Aiming for suicide

Tamako-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

I wonder if detailed tests have been carried out for collagen diseases...

If the disease can be identified, treatment may also be desirable.

If not, please refer to the address below, etc., and get help from your family, etc., and be sure to do another medical examination.

https://matome.naver.jp/odai/2141248882706725301

https://caloo.jp/hospitals/search/13/d1122

http://dr-guide.net/www/%E7%97%85%E6%B0%97%E5%88%A5%E3%81%AB%E3%81%99%E3%81%B9%E3%81%A6%E3%81%AE%E6%83%85%E5%A0%B1%E3%82%92%E6%8E%A2%E3%81%99%E8%86%A0%E5%8E%9F%E7%97%85%E3%83%BB%E3%83%AA%E3% 82% A 6% E 3% 83% 9E%E 3% 83% 81/

http://doctor-cancer.com/rheumatism-dr.html

The department of collagen diseases and rheumatology at Tokyo Medical and Dental University seems to have quite a good reputation.
http://www.tmd.ac.jp/grad/rheu/index.html

I pray that the cause of physical pain and suffering will be understood as soon as possible and that treatment will proceed.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

I read it. I read it as if you were in a very difficult situation due to your illness. Among them, is living now in the midst of hellish suffering? I feel like my energy to live is about to run out. I sincerely understand your feelings.
It's hard to live with suffering. I also think it is very presumptuous to want or ask you to live among them. It's your own life, and it's your life.
Nonetheless, I sincerely hope that you will somehow live the life you have been given.
If you are not a specialist, you won't know the details about the disease, but I would really like you to contact a medical institution to deal with it. There are various medical institutions in Tokyo, and there are also university hospitals.
I don't know what treatment methods are available, but I would like you to receive possible care and support.
You have your life, and that life has been given to you by various people and things. And longevity is a given. We don't know, but the lifespan is fixed.
I know it's really difficult, but I ask that you fulfill the ten-life you've been given.

The Buddha will always guide you correctly when you have reached the end of your life. I will be guided by the Buddha when you have lived a full life, and I will keep quiet with Nembutsu so that you can be reborn under the Buddha and have peace of mind.
Namu Amida Buddha, Namu Amida Buddha, Namu Amida Buddha
The Buddha will always guide you properly. Please don't worry.
Also, please be quiet with Nembutsu and ask the Buddha to guide and save you.
Also, please face your own life that you have just been given, and live well. Each person has been given a role. And we learn and grow in many ways as we live.
I sincerely hope that you will recover from this illness, recover your mind and body, and continue to grow while living healthy every day.

crisp
Autumn morning

“Please get me a towel”
Answer “hey”
There are good people (oops)

Said “hi”
I have a daughter

brush your teeth
Removing dentures
Wash the scabbard

It's short but
fingerless

Round
Strong hands
Can do anything

No bones at the stump
They also have soft arms
Can do anything
There are also short hands

There is there

Everyone is there
crisp
Autumn morning

This is a poem by Nakamura Hisako, also known as Japan's Helen Keller, who lived with both hands and feet amputated at age 3. Read more about Nakamura Hisako's life here ↓
http://www.nakamura-hisako.co.jp/index.html

“There is no hopelessness in life, there is never hopelessness in any life”

These are Nakamura Hisako's words.

I can't do that, I can't do this either. There are many people who despair over saying “no.”

However, even among them, if you wake up that being kept alive here and now is something that “exists,” a flower of hope will bloom in a hopeless life.
Perhaps Tamako's hope “exists” in her thoughts heading towards death, so I can't say anything about Tamako's decision.
Well, I would appreciate it if you could ask to the extent that such thoughts also exist.

There is life to wake up today too
There are tens of trillions of cells that keep me alive
I have a finger to type
I have a brain that thinks about ways to commit suicide
There are people who speak to me
That person has a wish for my life
Wishes have the power to keep people alive
There are words to express wishes
There is someone who taught me words
There is a Buddha that came to me in words
The name of that Buddha is Namu Amida Buddha

Namu Amida Buddha

Namu Amida Buddha is a statement of truth that says I should wake up to me. It is said that people who praise this nembutsu will be born in the Pure Land of Paradise.
My name is Nembutsu too. So maybe we'll meet again someday.

But hopefully, I'll be able to meet Tamako again in this lifetime.

Please say Namu Amida Buddha

There is a function to let you know who you are, saying, “You can be you.”

I met you and me.
There is me who decides not to do it.
When there is nothing, it is a position where “there is nothing.” No matter how far it goes, it's just there.

Namu Amida Buddha

Good evening.

Did you see the answer to the previous question? Please read it carefully. The monk's answer is not “encouragement.” It's advice. If you compare advice to a doctor, it's medicine. We can't save you if you don't put the advice into practice so that it doesn't work if you don't take medicine. Please practice what is affected by the answers. After putting it into practice, ask the next question. This doesn't make sense for us to answer.

Now, you seem to have misunderstandings and prejudices about depression.
If you think “I want to die,” there is a high possibility that you will be depressed. First, discard the assumption that “I'm not depressed” and go to the doctor again.
The most troublesome part of treating a disease is judging the illness yourself and not listening to the doctor. Please properly accept the doctor's diagnosis.

I'll post a depression check sheet below.
http://utsu.ne.jp/sp/self_check/
No matter how the results come out, be sure to go to your doctor. Please tell your doctor that “I have a feeling I want to die.”