I don't know how to repair my relationship with my real sister.

Originally, I had a real sister who was very close, but there were differences of opinion about my mother and my real sister's son, and I didn't get in a relationship at all from my partner because of that.
The discrepancy was that my mother and my real sister's son lived together, and that son had someone they wanted to go out with, so they wanted to resolve their cohabitation.
How does my grandmother respond to my real sister's reply! It seems that was it. (I found out later)
I received the same consultation from my son, but my husband and I were also told the same thing and took care of my father-in-law, so I understand your son's feelings very well and you should go on with your life. I originally advised my grandmother that we children should think about it. I thought about my real sister and thought that was the answer (because I didn't want my son to be held responsible)
As a result, my son broke up living together and got married 4 years later.
But since this incident, I've been ignored by my real sister.
As expected, if you thought you couldn't ignore ceremonial occasions, etc., your grandmother, who loved you, passed away, and when you tried to go to the funeral home, your real sister told you to do it alone with your family, so you couldn't attend.
I was so shocked that I didn't know what to think.
My mother knows about this too, but I have to be taken care of by my real sister (now I live alone)
They say they can't say anything.
I may not even be able to attend my biological parent's funeral from now on.
I don't know how to take this fact. What should I think about it?
Even if they try to repair the relationship, they are being ignored by the other party.

4 Zen Responses

What is the cause of your sister's anger

After all, I don't really understand the cause of my sister's anger.
Why did they want the mother and son to continue living together?
(Aren't you aiming for your mother's fortune?)
Also, were you opposed to your son's marriage itself?
Isn't there a reason they get scolded so much?
You didn't mean to be malicious, but does your older sister think there was some kind of malice against you?

Either way, please don't be hostile from here on out so you don't buy fights that were sold.

It's best to actually talk

Can't I even meet my older sister anymore?
I feel like we're passing each other.
Have someone neutral third party join in between. There is no choice but to slowly break your stomach and try talking.

At this rate, you'll just be thinking about the past. I think one way is to express your thoughts in a letter, but there are times when sentences don't honestly convey your thoughts.

If possible, why don't you ask them to make time to speak slowly?

Calm conversation with a third party

It's about sending a letter.
I should describe in detail that there were such circumstances at that time, that what I did was just this way of communicating with this kind of intention, and tell them that I am sad and don't understand why this happened.
Perhaps there was a difference of opinion between my real sister and my son.
Maybe you're complicit in your nephew.
Family issues are unmanageable because the parties involved become emotional with each other.
I recommend discussions involving a third party who is not comfortable with either of them in a calm position.
It's about dealing with people in positions that don't agree with either of them. (Monks recommend it)
Humans have small selfish desires that cannot be said well.
Conflicts occur when the ego, ego, sense of selfishness, and sense of self increase.
If both and everyone acts out of selfishness, such a desire, someone will feel sad.
Let's watch 5, 10, 15 years ahead, ❝ the future ❞ in order to find a way to come to terms in places where we can't come to terms.

The names of rivers change upstream and downstream.
Eventually, it ends up in the ocean, becomes clouds, and becomes rain.
Sometimes it becomes as beautiful as a rainbow.
Fresh greenery also withered, and that's not the end of it.
If it becomes mulch, it will be a force for new life to bloom. Rather, fresh green is no good.
Each one matures. It is necessary to change the attitude of being stiff and trying to hold on.
Let's not worry about each other, let's all wake up to the fact that they have something to protect, think about who the house originally belonged to, and think about what they want to do and what they want to do and what they want to do if they don't include individual desires or selfishness, let's retract greed and think about what it should be without human convenience. Naturally, you will be forced to choose the path of harmony.
Humans learn about the foolishness of greed and awaken to relationships with others only when each one faces their own unique “circumstances.”
Conclusion Get in touch with your nephew to clear up your older sister's misunderstanding, and if that doesn't change, talk with a third party

A misunderstanding of words

I read the text over and over again.

You probably thought that your older sister would feel the same way as you, so you probably gave your nephew the best advice.

But if your nephew even talks to you, maybe the older sister was against her son leaving from the beginning?
That's why your nephew talked to you.

The nephew who talked to you said, “You have to live your life. I received advice saying, “Originally, grandmother is something we kids think about.”

Now, if your nephew was opposed to independence by her older sister, would your nephew have a calm and quiet discussion with her older sister?

If you were opposed, became emotional, and even got into an argument, how would your advice have been conveyed to your older sister?

This is an imagination, but...

My aunt told me that you should live your own life.
My aunt told me to take care of my grandmother, but my aunt said that taking care of parents is the child (older sister)'s responsibility, not the grandson.

It's not hard to imagine that it would be conveyed with such nuance.

Just as you are taking care of your father-in-law, your older sister has also been taking care of your mother until now, in a way.

If your advice had been conveyed in such a way...
The older sister who heard it said, “My sister gave up taking care of her parents' house, imposed everything on me, and did wisdom that she didn't need even her son.” It's not at all strange that I received it.

Words are scary once they go through someone else's mouth.

If that's the case, I can somehow understand why you were refused to attend your grandmother's funeral.

I don't think your advice is wrong.

However, the thoughtful and kind advice may have just been an excuse for my nephew at the time to leave the boat house on the ferry.

It's beyond the realm of imagination, but I don't feel like there have been any misunderstandings around that point.

Even if it's a misunderstanding, once you get confused, it's hard to calm down.

If they don't respond to the discussion, why don't you take a step back and resolve the misunderstanding, even once in a letter for your mother?

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